Can We Find God's Pleasure in Our Suffering?

In a romance novel the hero and heroine often have a love-hate relationship. We, the readers, sit on the edge of our seats anxiously waiting to see when the two will finally connect, profess their love for each other and live happily ever after.

In the midst of some great tragedy, the heroine resists the aid of the hero. The man is hurt. He steps back, perhaps in anger, and the heroine falls into deeper trouble.

When she is about to give up hope, the hero swoops down and rescues her. Then the two of them battle the enemy together. Sometimes the heroine pushes the hero away again, but he keeps coming back until finally he wins her trust and her heart.

While we read, we cheer the hero on and chide the heroine for her foolishness when she rejects his help or attentions. The characters and their struggles keep us reading even though we may feel like smacking them for their stupidity. Yet, without those intense moments of conflict, the story would not bring us any pleasure and we would set down the book.

The other day I contemplated God's good pleasure. We are created for God's pleasure.

"I know also, my God, that thou triest the heart, and hast pleasure in uprightness...." I Chronicles 29:17a

"The Lord taketh pleasure in them that fear him, in those that hope in his mercy." Psalm 147:11

"For the Lord taketh pleasure in his people: he will beautify the meek with salvation." Psalm 149:4

"Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the LORD shall prosper in his hand...by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities....he was numbered with the transgressors; and he bare the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors." Isaiah 53:10-12

The Bible has often been referred to as the greatest love story ever. God created man for His pleasure, much as a man seeks a woman for his. But sin entered the scene. The loved one rejects. Hurt ensues.

In a romance, the hero discovers he must not only win the attentions of the woman, but earn her love and trust. He cannot force her to love him, because that would not bring pleasure. Yet, he will attempt to woo her.

We, the readers, know that at the end of the story the man will get the girl, such is the pattern of a romance. God knew, when He created man, man would sin and He would have to pay the greatest price to bring man back to the perfect relationship once known in the Garden of Eden. But He was willing to endure the pain, pay the price, in order to gain our love and trust.

If the romance story went from loss of love to love returned and marriage, we would count the story unbelievable and a failure. We want to read through the conflicts. The conflicts bring the emotional satisfaction we seek.

We cannot know the mind of God. We will never fully understand all that He does, but we can trust that whatever happens to us, His ultimate goal is to restore that perfect relationship.

"Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father's pleasure to give you the kingdom." Luke 12:32

In a novel, the author places conflict that will believably turn the heart of the heroine to the hero. I think perhaps God does the same. He allows things into our lives to help us see Him, to work to turn our hearts back to Him. Despite the price we may pay when we do turn back to Him, we bring Him pleasure.

So often we see hardship as the workings of an angry and hateful God inciting unjust judgment upon us. In our society discipline has become a dirty word.

How the Lord longs for us to love Him with all our heart. How He desires for us to trust Him. Of such great importance is this to Him, He is willing to suffer watching us suffer in order to draw us to Him. Are we willing to suffer in order to know and love Him more?

Sometimes, in a romance, the heroine searches for her hero at great cost to herself. Sometimes the search is misguided or foiled by the enemy.

We, the readers, long to tell the heroine, "He's over here. Come look here." But we must watch her struggle until she finds him.

I imagine God feels the same way when He watches us struggle to gain knowledge of Him or to understand Him.

I have come to consider that the increase of trouble in my life is not perhaps the absence of God's presence, nor  necessarily the punishment of God. Rather perhaps the trouble is an opportunity to discover something new that will deepen my love and trust for God, bringing forward my relationship with Him to the point of perfection. To bring Him pleasure, not in the struggling, but in how I turn to Him through the struggle, making Him my pleasure.

"Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created." Revelations 4:11

And the Chase Is On

I set my iPad on the treadmill, started up a Magnum PI and pressed 2 for a warm up. I had just begun to punch the speed up when I hear a scuffle at the front door and my son calling me. Sighing, I paused Thomas Magnum, turned the treadmill off and walked to the door.

Tears of frustration streamed down my son's face, and he flagged his hand toward the other side of the street. "Jasmine got away." He turned inside rubbing his leg and a little blue color spread across his cheek.

Didn't take much for me to figure out what happened. Jasmine, our two year old German shepherd had been looking for an opportunity to break out for the last couple of days. Even after a training session with my husband the day before, you could see that her 'down' was more of a 'ready-to-pounce' than a 'down'.

My exercise plan had been switched. Ensuring that my son and daughter (who also tried her hand at stopping the dog) were okay, I grabbed the leash, a baggie of chopped up wieners, and left on a walk to follow my dog through the streets.

I've learned after a great deal of experience not to chase, just follow, and if at all possible, try to herd her away from the busy streets. And to pray. Pray that someone will help me catch her, because I won't be able to get near her. Pray that she doesn't run in front of a vehicle and all the endless hassles that would create.

For Jasmine, it is all a game. She darts from yard to yard, says hello to all her doggy friends along the way, and chases a cat or two. She says hello to everyone she meets, but if they reach down for her collar, she takes flight. She will not be caught until she is good and ready.

After about a half hour of following and praying, I thought how much like us she is.

Sometimes we become bored with our lives. We become antsy for adventure, fun, excitement...even the forbidden kind. While those who have authority over us might be able to illicit some obedience from us, we look for the opportunity to slip passed their legs and out into what we think is freedom and fun.

We do this even to God. He warns us. He trains us, but we're in 'pounce' mode, eyes forever wandering to that door just past where He stands. Then when we think we have opportunity, we dart through the door and the chase begins.

But God follows. He waits for us to come back to Him. Yes, He sees us. He watches as we dash away from Him, thinking to ourselves that we'll have the time of our lives. He sees the car of trouble that just misses us. He knows the kind people who attempt to turn us from our wander-lust.

And we are fully aware that He is waiting for us to return to Him.

I never left Jasmine. I couldn't. Many people have told me, just let her go, she'll return on her own. But I can't do it. I worry about the harm that might come both to her and to anyone whose path she crosses. I've seen it happen. A man, trying to help, leaps at her. She escapes, leaving him with an injured shoulder. Cars breaking hard, swerving to avoid, and me cringing for fear an accident will happen. Then of course there is those obtuse characters who choose to swear at me for not having my dog under control. I suppose I deserve it.

When we run away from God, we do more than bring hurt to ourselves. We can hurt those who love us. Even as Jasmine hurt my son. We can hurt innocent bystanders, and we hurt God.

But God is so ever faithful and patient. He watches us and knows, and calls, and waits.

Toward the end of Jasmine's fun, she turned toward home. I began to simply walk, calling occasionally but for the most part just walking. At one point she came to my heel but after a few steps bolted away, not quite ready to be caught.

Jasmine on the leash

I kept walking, whistling on occasion, but not chasing. Eventually a neighbor caught her, someone who grumbles and all but swears at me every time she gets out. A mumbled my thanks, hooked the leash onto Jasmine's collar and headed home.

Jasmine hasn't been hurt yet, but I fear someday she will. There is good reason why we don't allow her to roam freely like she desires. For her safety as well as others we keep her in the house, the yard, or on the leash.

There is good reason why God gives us instructions on how to live wisely in His Word. He knows the trouble we can get into if we do whatever we desire. Maybe we can get out from under His care and have a good time and not get hurt, but the risk is there. Wisdom tells us it is better to obey His Word.

"When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul; discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee: to deliver thee from the way of the evil man,..." Proverbs 2:10-12a

Your Marching Orders Are Not Mine

"Thus saith the LORD of hosts, I remember that which Amalek did to Israel...Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have..." I Samuel 15:2-3

"And David enquired at the LORD, saying, Shall I pursue...And he answered him, Pursue: for thou shalt surely overtake them, and without fail recover all." I Samuel 30:8

---

When I was fourteen our Sunday School teacher had us write our life plan. I don't remember the purpose or the lesson, but I do remember my plan because it had been my dream since I was old enough to ride a horse. I would raise horses and travel to rodeos and horse shows from Texas to Canada, and wouldn't get married until my late 20's. The only part I accomplished was not getting married until I was 29.

I spent last week visiting family in Alberta. I sat on the banks of the Bow River, looked around at the vast prairies stretching for miles. No people. No cars. No trees. No noise. No concrete. Just the beautiful expanse God created both in the heavens above and the earth below. I marveled that I could ever have left.

Going home creates a cluster of cumulus clouds inside me. On the one hand, I desire to stay to enjoy the tremendous freedom found in the Canadian prairies. On the other hand, I know that God has other plans, which take me to the confining shackles of city life in California.

Four years after that Sunday School lesson, I picked potato beetles off plants for a company a few miles from home. Each morning I'd take a jar, walk through their garden, and pick beetles and other bugs until there were none left. Then I would spend the better part of the day mowing lawns, trimming, painting, and whatever else they'd have me do. I had plenty of time to think, pray, and meditate on Bible verses while I worked. Seeds God planted earlier in my life took root, and His desires began to blossom in my heart. Little did I know in a couple of years I'd be leaving my beloved Alberta prairies.

God's purpose supersedes our own desires and dreams. He gives to one person one order and to another a different.

Both Saul and David fought the Amalekites. God sent Saul to destroy all that the Amalekites had because of what they did to the Israelites hundreds of years earlier. Saul was not to keep the spoil.

After the Amalekites raided Ziklag, God told David to pursue and recover all.

Different orders. Both instances of vengeance.

Have you ever wondered why? God had a different purpose for David than for Saul. Saul and David were also different people with different faith.

Why was Saul not allowed to keep the spoil? Was this simply a test of obedience?

Concern for what others thought often became the catalyst for Saul's actions. He didn't stand up for what was right and rarely consulted God on his own. He had less concern for his relationship with God than he had for public opinion.

The incident where Saul disobeyed, keeping the spoil after fighting the Amalekites (and then blaming the people) revealed Saul's character.

David took the spoil, obeying God, and spread it to the elders of Judah (I Samuel 30:8). David's character revealed.

God doesn't always give everyone the same marching orders, and we need to be careful not to judge another whose orders are different than ours.

At times, we turn our preferences or our own convictions into laws we expect others to abide by, looking down our noses at them for not living how we think they should--not realizing that perhaps God gave them a different order.

As a child, I though all people growing up in the city were dumb, because they didn't know anything about farming or living in the country. Now I am a city-dweller. God has  sense of humor.

After living in a variety of places and having experienced a variety of cultures, I realize we can all be 'dumb' when we are outside of our known habitat.

Perhaps some of the greatest distancing I have felt from others has been when they feel they must raise their experience in life above my own--not knowing me or my life. And I am ashamed to say I have done the same from time to time.

God gives each of us unique experiences, and we need to respect that. He knows our characters. He knows what we need to go through in order to grow or to humble us or to reveal Himself to us in a way we'd never considered before. The reasons for our individual paths are as vast as He is.

If I had set out to accomplish the life plan I wrote at the age of fourteen I would be most miserable, because I would not be living in God's will. God had other plans for me.

My life journey is completely different than my sisters, both who stayed in Alberta and now farm. Their lives are no less nor greater than my life. God's marching orders for us were different. He designed our lives to be different. He assigned them to us because He knew each of us inside and out. Yet, all three of us can attest to God's blessings, goodness, mercy, and grace.

Lord, thank you for knowing me and taking me on this amazing adventure that is so much bigger than I had planned.

"Every way of a man is right in his owns eyes: but the LORD pondereth the hearts." Proverbs 21:2

"A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps." Proverbs 16:9

Where Am I on the Web?

I smiled when I wrote 'web'. I don't often hear the Internet referred to as the World Wide Web anymore. Perhaps I've just dated myself.

I have been writing for Colonial Quills. Book reviews. Joab's Fire Bible study posts, etc.

Has it really been six months since I've done a recount of where I have written? I know I've been rather silent on this blog, but I haven't completely stopped writing. Here's a recap of where I've been the past few months.

Colonial Quills:

• January 28, 2011 Devotional: John Hancock, Depend on God
• February 12, 2011 Devotional: Thomas Jefferson, From Whence Our Liberty Comes
• February 15, 2011 Article: Nathaniel Griffith on the Recruitment of Horses
• March 3, 2011 Devotional: Lord Cornwallis' Fear: Prayer, Our Greatest Weapon
• March 10, 2011 Devotional: Roger Williams on the Need for Repentance
• March 18, 2011 Devotional: George Washington on Discipline
• March 24, 2011 Devotional: Dr. John Clarke Stands on Truth
• April 8, 2011 Devotional: Patrick Henry: Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death
• April 29, 2011 Devotional: Benjamin Franklin and Not All Knowledge Is Created Equal
• May 13, 2011 Devotional: Anne Hutchinson, Woman of Interest http://colonialquills.blogspot.com/2012/05/ann-hutchinson-woman-of-interest.html
• May 27, 2011 Devotional: George Washington and the Rights of Conscience  http://colonialquills.blogspot.com/2012/05/rights-of-conscience.html

Presenting Biblical Truths Blog:

• By using a person's own emotional reactions to life and God to distort that person's view of God, Satan attempts to turn that person away from the Almighty and Sovereign Lord Jehovah.  Joab’s Fire Chapter 21 Discussion Questions
• Are there times when God is silent? Joab's Fire Chapter 22 Discussion Question 
• Never be afraid to humble yourself before God and man.  Joab's Fire Chapter 23 Discussion Question 
• Sometimes people lash out at us, and we seek cover thinking we've done something to offend....but it isn't about us. It's about them and often about their relationship with God. Joab's Fire Chapter 24 Discussion Question 
• The testing of our faith often comes when we feel overwhelmed and begin to long for what we once had or for what we think we should have. Joab’s Fire chapter 25 Discussion Question 
• God's Word is living and powerful and when we quote it, we can find He speaks to our hearts. Joab's Fire Chapter 26 Discussion Question 
• In this world, we simply need to please God--in each moment and every situation. Joab's Fire Chapter 27 Discussion Question 
• We often equate temptation with sin, but the two are not equal.  Joab’s Fire Chapter 28 Discussion Question 
• When we, as God's children experience a time of testing, I have no doubt that at times Satan instigates it. In his war on God, he takes vengeance out on us. Joab's Fire Chapter 29 Discussion Question 
•  Whenever we decided to stop waiting on the Lord and take action on our own, we can find ourselves in even greater trouble. Joab’s Fire Chapter 30 Discussion Question #3

Faith Journey Books Blog:

• Writing Article: Sophisticated Fiction Writing 
• Writing Article: Writing a Contemplative Scene 
• Writing Article: Creating Transitions 
• Writing Article: Goals, Conflicts, and Catastrophes 
• Interview: The Reliance, Interview with MaryLu Tyndall 
• Book Review: Book Review: Tahn, by L. A. Kelly 
• Interview: Sandi Rog Interview 
• Interview: MaryLu Tyndall Interview for The Blue Enchantress 
• Book Review: Review of Yahshua's Bridge, by Sandi Rog 
• Interview: Interview with Susan Craft, Author of The Chamomil... 
• Interview: Interview with Fay Lamb, Author of Because of Me     

Faith, Fiction, Fun, and Fanciful:

•  Thou Desirest Truth in the Inward Parts 
•  Are You Calling Someone a Judgmental Pharisee When... 
•  Dressage and My Walk with the Lord 
•  I'm Back!...Kind of. Why Did I Stop Blogging Anywa... 
•  Your Secret Faith--Are You Ready to Suffer for It?... 
•  Joab's Fire Now Available on Kindle and Nook 
•  To Avenge or Not to Avenge 
•  After God's Own Heart 
•  What Thorn Is Proving You?  

What Thorn Is Proving You?

"But if ye will not drive out the inhabitants of the land from before you; then it shall come to pass, that those which ye let remain of them shall be pricks in your eyes, and thorns in your sides, and shall vex you in the land wherein ye dwell."
Numbers 33:55 

I wonder if the Apostle Paul had this verse in mind when he wrote:

"And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure." II Corinthians 12:7

 Before the Israelites passed into the Promised Land God gave them a number of instructions, to which they agreed to abide. God warned them of what would happen if they didn't.

The Israelites crossed the Jordan  River into a new life. There would be worldly things and people they would need to get rid of in order to have "Promised Land Living." God promised to prosper them in this new land flowing with milk and honey, but first they had a job to do. They'd need to prove their faith by obeying God. They'd have to endure warfare before peace would come. They'd have to make sacrifices before they partook of the bounty.

The Bible overflows with wisdom. You want to live well with your spouse? The Bible tells you how. You want to have a successful career? The Bible teaches you what kind of a work ethic you need. You want to have good friends and peace with your fellow man? The Bible instructs you on how to build quality relationships. The precepts and principles taught in Scripture on how to live can be used by anyone - Christian or not. In fact, many principles taught in the best business management and personnel management texts mimic what is said in Scripture.

The problem is, we tend to follow our hearts, which almost always leads us down roads that end in disaster. I confess, one of my pet peeves is the saying, "follow your heart." I cringe when I hear someone who claims to be a Christian say it.

A couple of things happened after some success in the Promised Land. Israel forgot to inquire of God before making an allegiance with a people group and that led to heartache. Then later, they began to see the enemy rather than God's leading and became fearful. Their fear meant they were no longer trusting God, and it prevented them from expanding their borders to the extent that God promised them.

In the end, the old inhabitants remained and caused them trouble.

"I also will not henceforth drive out any from before them of the nations which Joshua left when he died: That through them I may prove Israel, whether they will keep the way of the LORD to walk therein, as their fathers did keep it, or not." Judges 2:21-22

When we call upon the name of the Lord to be saved (when we ask Jesus into our hearts), if we have truly humbled ourselves before Him, over time we will be convicted of things in our lives. Our love for God will grow as we grow in our knowledge of Him. As we grow in love our desire to please Him will grow, and that will lead us to desire to eliminate, or drive out, those things that do not please Him.

I wonder, when Paul penned those verses in II Corinthians 12, if he was thinking about the Israelites inability to remove the inhabitants of the land. I wonder if he saw something in his life he couldn't have victory over, some recurring fault that shamed him whenever it took hold of his life.

"...My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in  weakness." II Corinthians 12:9a

The further I get along in life, the more things I find to regret. Words spoken I will never be able to take back. Actions done that I wish I had not committed. Feelings evolved that I wish I had never allowed to develop. These regrets remind me of those nations the Israelites failed to drive out of the land. Yet, God in His abundant mercy, took those nations and used them to prove Israel.

As a child of God, I am thankful for His grace. I still live in this world and in this flesh. I still do things I shouldn't do. I'm still human. And yet, God's forgiveness abounds. His grace that saved me stands and reminds me even when I've sinned that He has covered it. In my weakness, His strength is made perfect because His grace is sufficient. Thank you, Dear Lord.

After God's Own Heart

Have you ever wondered what really made Saul different from David?

Saul was chosen by God to be king. So was David.

Saul was anointed by Samuel. So was David.

The Spirit of God came upon Saul. The Spirit of God moved David to write the psalms.

Saul sinned to save himself. So did David.

But God rejected Saul and called David a man after His own heart. God had given Saul another heart (I Samuel 10:9). So what was the difference?

The elders of Israel saw that Samuel was old and that his sons did not walk in his ways. They looked around at the other nations and saw that those nations were ruled by kings. The time was coming when Samuel would die and Israel would need another ruler.

Samuel was the last judge that led Israel through many difficulties. Each time a judge died, the Israelites fell away from God and did what was right in their own eyes. They would then be led into captivity, God would give them another judge, and they'd be saved. I'm sure the elders looked at their history and decided they didn't want this to happen again, so they'd forgo waiting for God to raise someone up after they'd gotten themselves into trouble. They would start a royal line.

But they were not looking to God. They saw the judges, mere men, instead of God. They assessed the situation and came up with a solution that still left God out of the equation.

God told Samuel to hearken to them and make them a king. He told Samuel the man would be Saul.

Saul was a man of Benjamin, the son of a mighty man of power. Saul was a 'choice young man', in Hebrew bakhur, which refers to a young man of mature age and often implies beauty of form. Saul was a goodly man, which means he was pleasant, agreeable. He might even have been considered upright. We get the picture that he was a cheery person, easy to get along with and kind. Perhaps the most impressive thing about Saul was his height. He stood head and shoulders above anyone else.

In fact, from the outward appearance and surface personality, Saul seemed the perfect pick for a king.

The Israelites wanted leadership. They wanted to show the nations around them that they were not a people to be trampled upon or to be taken advantage of. Saul, from appearances would do nicely. And God gave to them what they wanted.

But Saul had issues. Saul belittled himself:

"Am not I a Benjamite, of the smallest of the tribes of Israel? and my family the least of all the families of the tribe of Benjamin? wherefore then speakest thou to me?" I Samuel 9:21

We might think of this answer reflecting his humility, but humility isn't about thinking of yourself lower than you are. Humility is seeing who you really are, even as God sees you.

I'd venture to say that even at this point, Saul was fearful. Certainly we see his fear through the rest of his life.

To confirm that Saul would be king, God turned him into another man (I Samuel 10:6). He gave Saul another heart (note that I Samuel 10:9 doesn't say a new heart). God gave Saul another will, another understanding, another inner man with a different set of emotions, passions, appetites. Saul's first heart, his original inner man, was not after God's heart, and this would cause him problems.

And the Spirit of God came upon Saul at times then Saul would prophesy.

But Saul had a lacking that made him distinctly different than David. Saul did not trust God. Like the Israelites, Saul put his trust in Samuel, the judge. When Samuel didn't come on time in I Samuel 11, Saul turned to the ritual of sacrifice to draw the people back to him.

Later, Saul again obeys God and trusts his own wisdom.

"...It repenteth me that I have set up Saul to be king: for he is turned back from following me, and hath not performed my commandments...." I Samuel 15:11

When Samuel confronted him, Saul admitted his sin, but he didn't ask God to forgive his sin. He asked Samuel to and asked Samuel to join him so that he could worship God. Saul was not interested in a personal relationship with God. He looked to Samuel instead. Saul grew to love his power as king and began to see God as someone to get him out of trouble.

David, on the other hand, loved God. He sought an intimate relationship with Him. His heart was after God's. David gave God the glory for his victories. He was confident in what God could do and that gave him self confidence. He wasn't perfect. He made mistakes and he sinned, but he sought God for forgiveness, not seeking the forgiveness of some spiritual leader. And David accepted the consequences of his sin with a humble heart, seeking God's mercy and passionately desiring God's intimacy once more.

Through my life I've come across many people. Some of them great, some of them small. So with plenty of self-confidence. And some pridefully ashamed of themselves. In studying these two men in the Bible I've asked myself who do I most closely resemble? I suppose I have a bit of both in me.

One thing I do know, I burn inside to know God more. Like Saul, I live in this flesh, but praise be to God, through Jesus Christ, I live by His faith, and I am a new creature.

"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold all things are become new." II Corinthians 5:17.

I now have a heart after God. My passions, my affections, the essence of my understanding of life, my determinations and resolutions, all these parts of my inner person are after God, desiring to please Him. That is the new creature. That was David's heart.

To Avenge or Not to Avenge

While my daughter was in the hospital in March, I pulled down several journal apps to use on my iPad. I had this big idea that I would use different ones for different sections of my life. At that time (in the hospital watching my daughter's oxygen levels go up and down and pulse race like a thoroughbred's), I had a lot on my mind and the time to write. It was both practical (I took notes of what every hospital staff member did and said) and therapeutic.

Gardening season has begun...actually I'm a couple of months late this year. Gardening is also therapeutic for me. I can dig and think, and think and dig. Or pull weeds and muse, and muse and pull weeds.

"In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul." Psalm 94:19

I must confess that far too often my thoughts turn to, "How I would like to say..." or to contriving ways to inflict vengeance on the one I have decided brought the offense I think I've endured. Yes, I'm nasty. 

"O LORD God, to whom vengeance belongeth; O God, to whom vengeance belongeth, show thyself."  Psalm 94:1

Perhaps one of the most difficult things I've had to learn in life is to turn the other cheek. I'd much rather be a vigilante. In junior high school I tried this. Once a boy stole my best friend's hat. I stood toe to toe and nose to nose with him and told him to give it back. He, of course said, "No." I and my friend were taken to the principal's office (much to my friend's horror) to receive a tongue-lashing. Of course I took the role of a martyr, jutted out my chin and believed the principal was a fool. Poor man. I laugh now, but the desire to hold up the arm of justice still resides in my spine. I feel it exercise its clout on a regular basis when it sends its iron rod down my back at the slightest hint of offense.

My study of David, however, is grabbing ahold of that rod and wrestling with it. David absorbed many injustices done to him, determining to rely on God to avenge him. Oh Lord, how I need to do the same.

"How long shall they utter and speak hard things? and all the workers of iniquity boast themselves?" Psalm 94:4

 Have you ever noticed how difficult determining the difference between a real offense and the bruising of your pride can be?

Pride lies to us. It tells us what so-and-so thinks...without finding the truth. It tells us we are better than we are. It tells us we have a right to stand up for ourselves, even if it means stepping on another person's feelings (usually the person we think has caused us such great harm).

Pride has us read passages like Psalm 94:3 ("how long shall the wicked triumph?") and use it to justify our taking offense at another person's words or actions. We begin to "villianize" the offender by applying the words of the psalmist figuratively.

"They slay the widow..." Oh, I heard she did such and such to that person. That is just like slaying that poor person. Ah, she is just as wicked as this psalmist's enemy.

We see this happening in politics: one side attempting to demonize the other.

Perhaps you all are much better than I. Perhaps you all do not struggle with your thoughts the way I do. I hope you can forgive me for my fault.

Do you know what God says about our thoughts?

"The LORD knoweth the thoughts of man, that they are vanity." Psalm 94:11

How true.

So now I am attempting to identify the vengeance monster before it overtakes my thoughts. I know that it usually incubates in my pride and feeds on my lack of trust in God. Kill the heat of pride and I'll kill the monster. Keeping my trust sealed in God's faithfulness, goodness, and mercy (amongst His other great attributes) will keep any bit of that monster from overpowering me.

Because the psalmist called upon God to avenge and did not take things into his own hands, he was able to say:

"When I said, my foot slippeth; thy mercy, O LORD, held me up. In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul." Psalm 94:18-19

When I call on God to avenge or make things right--when I call on Him when I am tempted to take offense-He will answer me. And when He answers me, I will find His comforts delight my soul.

 Oh Lord, help me to say:

"But the LORD is my defence; and my God is the rock of my refuge." Psalm 94:22

And Lord, help me to walk in that trust in every trying moment.

Joab's Fire Now Available on Kindle and Nook

I'm thrilled to announce that Joab's Fire is now available for the Kindle or the Nook.

Can they find a path through tragedy and loss to the grace and bounty of God's love?

"Joab's Fire will ignite a flame of hope and faith within you..." --Debra Shirley, author and speaker.


Joab Black and his wife Sarah overcame the worst of pioneer hardships in order to establish a prosperous farm in Alberta, Canada. But those challenges never prepared them for the tragedy they now faced—a staggering loss and intense pain causing them to doubt everything they had ever believed. In the midst of their sorrow, even their closest friends interpret their sufferings as a result of God’s judgment. Has God abandoned them?
Sergeant Dixon, the local North West Mounted Police officer, investigates the events leading to the Blacks’ plight. While his work gives them a ray of hope, his probing into the activities of a certain stranger possibly connected to the case may cost him his job and even his life.

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Your Secret Faith--Are You Ready to Suffer for It?

I often contemplate what to write on my blog or post on Facebook. Only about a tenth of what I think I'd like to post actually makes it...probably should be less than a hundredth.

"For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid that shall not be known and come abroad." Luke 8:17

In this era of technology this verse takes on a new meaning. Jesus says this after explaining the meaning of the parable of the sower to his disciples. In context, this verse is about receiving the word of God and sharing it. Interesting though, the manifesting of that 'secret' and that 'hidden thing' is not directly connected to the disciples...it implies the hand of God.

Today I listened to the media raise the question of Mitt Romney's faith. I don't really want to get into a political discussion, but I will say that I am much troubled by our options for president.

Last night at the supper table we talked about Rick Santorum suspending his campaign. I wanted my children to understand that God is in control. "...the powers that be are ordained of God." Romans 13:1b. God does have a plan.

Throughout history we can see the rise and fall of empires. In those empires existed people of faith. In the western world in particular, we can find born again believers. Not a century has passed that true Christians have not experienced some persecution. So it has been and will be in the 21st century.

I confess that as a parent I tend to worry whether my children are ready to suffer. We do so much to protect them, shelter them from the world and from harm, with the intent of grounding them in a Biblical worldview. We often talk about their faith being what will take them through those times. But really, it isn't their faith that will. It is Christ's faith in them, God's faithfulness, His mercy, and His grace.

In times of testing, we may fail. But God promises to pick us up. "The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand." Psalm 37:23-24.

That is a promise we can cling to.

On one hand, I want to keep 'bad' from touching my kids. On the other hand, I realize that during the 'bad' God reveals himself like no other time. Enduring hardship has far greater rewards than creating a false sense of security in riches and government or any of man's devices to make a perfect world free from suffering.

After our Bible reading last night, I said that I am so grateful for the value God has placed on me - value enough to sacrifice Himself for me. My eldest daughter agreed with great conviction. On one hand, I felt sad that she should know the sorrow of not being valued...that is part of growing up. On the other hand, I am so glad that she knows that God values her. She clings to the same hope I do. The hope God gave us when He died in our place, was buried, and rose again.

I fear the future will include more suffering and more persecution in this country that once claimed to be Christian. I know people say that faith shouldn't have anything to do with who you vote for, but if your faith is real, it should have everything to do with your politics. To say that a politician's religion has nothing to do with his political views is to say that politician's religion is not real to him. A person's religious beliefs are foundational to his decision making process, his motivations, and the precepts and principles by which he acts out his life.

So can church and state be truly separate? No. Not as long as people are running the state. That is why laws were put into place. That is why the constitution was written. But in this age, people want to 'rewrite' (both figuratively and literally) the constitution and the laws. And that is why I am concerned about the future state of this country.

Americans have left God. Yes, there are a few faithful that believe in the One True God, as He presents Himself in Scripture. But those people are few and far between. Most people who claim to be Christians have developed their own god (just as the Mormon religion has - and please understand Mormonism is NOT Christianity) and those people pick and chose what they want to believe from the Bible. In essence, they have left God for a god of their own choosing--they've chosen lies instead of truth.

So what does this mean? It means the opportunity to be counted worthy to suffer for Christ is increasing. Acts 5:41 "And they departed from the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for his name."

Some day each one of us will be faced with making a stand either for or against what we profess to believe. In that day our secret doubts or secret faith will be made manifest. We will either be ready to face death (literally or figuratively) for our faith in Christ, or our lack of faith will be revealed.

Paul encouraged the Corinthians to watch, stand fast in the faith, be a man (be brave), and be strong. (I Corinthians 16:13).

Now is a time when we need to watch. The political scene we see unfolding before us will have great bearing on our freedom to express our faith. Now is a time for us to stand fast in the faith. Why are Christian men not standing up and saying, "I will not be bullied any longer into silence by the liberals"? We need real men for politicians--men willing to stand firm on Biblical truths. We need to be strong, willing to suffer shame for Christ's name.

If we do not stand here, in this time, declaring our faith, then the truth of that faith will be revealed to all at the time of judgment. I, for one, long to hear my Master say, "Well done, good and faithful servant."