Faith, Fiction, Fun and Fanciful

Thou Desirest Truth in the Inward Parts

2012-01-31T13:35:00.000-08:00

In Psalm 51, David shares his earnest request with God. Blot out my transgressions. David acknowledges and is troubled by his sin. Knowing God's desire for truth and that God can make him know wisdom, David begs for not only the removal of sin, but for God to change his sorrow to joy and gladness. David needed God to restore the fellowship he once knew and the result would be David's praise and desire to teach others about God's ways.

Shame brought David to his knees. His love for God made him plead for mercy and forgiveness. His commitment to God gave him the desire to serve by telling others. And he submits to God's good pleasure.

"For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest. Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me. Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom." Psalm 51:3-6

Lord, I know that but for the shed blood of Christ, I would be no good. Even as I live daily, I am split between what my human desires are and what I desire in the spirit You made alive when You saved me. Thank you, for Your abundant mercy that is new every morning. Thank you that Christ's blood covers it all. Help me to never forget what You have done for me. My life is Yours. Do with it what You will.

What Lynn Wrote This Week

2012-01-27T08:26:00.001-08:00

"Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow." Psalm 51:7

This verse has been the focus of my personal Bible study this week. For the past two months I have been doing an in-depth Bible study on Psalm 51. Amazing Psalm. The study has taken me down many rabbit trails (as is the usual case), but each rabbit trail has revealed more of who God is and more of who I am. While time hasn't permitted me to share with you every tidbit of truth I've discovered through this study, I hope what I have shared has been a blessing and/or perhaps a challenge.

Today's Friday, and as I have said before, I plan each week to post a summary of where you can find what I have written on the Internet. This week has been somewhat quiet compared with others. I've had to work on taxes and catch up on other projects where I fell behind because of revival week at our church last week.

Enough delay, here is the list.

Presenting Biblical Truths Blog:

Joab's Fire Chapter 19 Discussion: When we demonstrate mercy to our brother or sister in the Lord, we make the Gospel appealing to the unsaved. http://presentingbiblicaltruths.blogspot.com/2012/01/joab.html
Joab's Fire Chapter 20 Discussion: In times of great sorrow and anguish we have a place of safety in the Lord, but we must be willing to go there and treasure that place as better than any other. http://presentingbiblicaltruths.blogspot.com/2012/01/joabs-fire-chapter-20-discussion.html

Faith Journey Books:

Book Review: More Precious Than Gold, a historical novel by Lynn Dean http://faithjourneybooks.blogspot.com/2012/01/book-review-more-precious-than-gold.html
Lasciviousness and Such within Christian Romance. A post discussing why a Christian writer needs to be careful how she portrays a romance between her hero and heroine. http://faithjourneybooks.blogspot.com/2012/01/lasciviousness-and-such-within.html

Faith, Fiction, Fun, and Fanciful:

Mommy Where Did You Learn to Forgive? http://faithfictionfunandfanciful.blogspot.com/2012/01/mommy-where-did-you-learn-to-forgive.html
The Greatest Sacrifice I Can Give - http://faithfictionfunandfanciful.blogspot.com/2012/01/greatest-sacrifice-i-can-give.html
The Right Reaction to Consequences - When you have sinned and you suffer the consequences, how should you act? http://faithfictionfunandfanciful.blogspot.com/2012/01/right-reaction-to-consequences.html

The Right Reaction to Consequences

2012-01-26T13:22:00.000-08:00

Mercy - to be favorably inclined toward someone who is inferior to you.

"Have mercy upon me, O God, according to they lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions." Psalm 51:1

This illustrates David's humility. he beseeches the Almighty God to bend low to David and show him, who is inferior, kindness he doesn't deserve by blotting out his transgressions.

God did not remove the consequences of David's sin (II Samuel 12), but He did forgive David. "...The LORD also hath put away thy sin; thou shalt not die. Howbeit, because by this deed thou hast given great occasion to the enemies of the LORD to blaspheme, the child also that is born unto thee shall surely die." (II Samuel 12:13-14) All that God said would happen to David did. His sins were forgiven, but he still had to live through the consequences.

David accepted it, even when he had to run from Absalom. He didn't resist what happened because He knew it was God's judgment on him.

Just as he trusted God to make him king, David trusted God through the consequences of his sin.

God did have mercy on David. He did put away David's sin and would not let him die.

David didn't wallow in his sin and forsake God. He still loved God. He still pleased God, and we know this because of God's testimony of David in Acts 13:22 ("I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after mine own heart").

Lord, help me to be as humble as David, receiving what You give me, both mercy and consequence. Help me to not make excuses or lash out in anger or continue in sin or count You unjust.

The Greatest Sacrifice I Can Give

2012-01-24T12:52:00.000-08:00

"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God." Romans 12: 1-2

In conclusion of what Paul had been writing about to the Romans, Paul pens the above verse. As a result of our position in Christ and God's mercy and judgments and ways and what He has done for us, we should sacrifice our bodies, transform our minds and not do as the world does. Quite a challenge, eh?

If we did as he said what would we do? Prove God's will--that it is:

good
acceptable
perfect

I must ask myself, how am I measuring up?

Am I surrendering to the plea of the mercies of God to live not to myself?

Am I giving Him my body as a holy (which means separated to Him), as a living sacrifice, as acceptable to God?

And to think, that is only my reasonable service.

Am I willing to not just say I'm living for the Lord, but truly let my wants die for Him? Have I come to the point where I can say, "I'll gladly die for You, and I will gladly live for You."

When I think on this, I realize how weak I really am. Forgive me, Lord. Help me to be willing to sacrifice everything for You.

Mommy, Where Did You Learn to Forgive?

2012-01-24T09:52:00.000-08:00

My youngest daughter got caught doing something bad. We had a conversation and she said, "I'm sorry, will you please forgive me."

I replied, "Of course." I hugged her and kissed her then I returned to my work singing a song to myself.

A few minutes later, I hear her feet coming down the hall. "Mommy, where did you learn to forgive?"

I turned around, called her to my knee and said, "From my Heavenly Father. He has forgiven me of so much, how could I not forgive? He says He'll not call to memory again what He has forgiven. How can I do any less?"

Satisfied, my daughter went on to play, and I sat in my chair in awe. I wasn't angry with my daughter. I didn't hold a grudge for what she had done. The fellowship had been broken between her and I, and it was restored by a simple act of confession on her part and forgiveness on mine. The act did not change her status. She was still my daughter and would always be my daughter.

I love her, but I know she'll likely commit the same wrong again, and yet I am greatly pleased when she comes to me truly repentant, which usually happens in a flood of tears. She is so much like me.

My Heavenly Father is the same way with me. He forgives each time I ask even though He knows I'll fall again. And He will always love me. I'll always remain His child. But He is pleased when I work to restore my fellowship with Him by confessing and repenting, keeping my heart right before Him. He'll always forgive because He promised to and because He loves me.

I John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

The Apostle John just finished saying that the blood of Jesus Christ cleanses us from ALL sin. Still, he writes in I John 2:1, "My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous".

We are cleansed from all our sin. We still sin, but Jesus' blood covers our sin debt...it is on the altar before God forever. Death has no more hold on us.

For our trip to Disneyland last year I set up a journaling app on the iPad for each of the girls to record their vacation. The app would allow them to put pictures and music to each day along with whatever notes or 'stickers' they'd like. I drove (I always do) and coming from the back of the van I heard the song, "The Blood Is Still There." I'd heard it several times already on the trip, so I asked, "Who is playing that song?" It was my youngest. She was adding it to her journal (I think she must have added it for each day we were there). She said that it was her favorite song. When I asked her why, she just shrugged her shoulders and said that it was comforting.

I'll never forget that. Even today, the song came up. She still likes it, and I'm still amazed that my daughter accepts the message with her child-like faith.

I hope you enjoy the song as well.

What Have I Written in January So Far?

2012-01-20T08:31:00.000-08:00

January seems to be getting away from me, but that doesn't mean you can't go back and read what I have written. Funny thing about writing, it lasts pasts the moment.

As you navigate the Internet here's where you'll find something written by me or about me:

Interview by Lisa Lickel: http://reflectionsinhindsight.wordpress.com/tag/joabs-fire/
Devotional on Carrie Pagel's blog: http://cfpagels.blogspot.com/2012/01/friend-on-friday-lynn-squire-epiphany.html
A book review of Joab's Fire by Linda Yezak. Linda has added Joab's Fire to her Canopy Bookstore--a true honor indeed. http://lindayezak.com/tag/joabs-fire/

Faith, Fiction, Fun, and Fanciful Posts:

A New Year Is a Good Excuse for a New Beginning http://faithfictionfunandfanciful.blogspot.com/2012/01/new-year-is-good-excuse-for-new.html
Blogging 2012 http://faithfictionfunandfanciful.blogspot.com/2012/01/blogging-2012.html
True Christian Faith Requires Humility http://faithfictionfunandfanciful.blogspot.com/2012/01/true-christian-faith-requires-humility.html
God's Will. How Can You Know It? http://faithfictionfunandfanciful.blogspot.com/2012/01/gods-will-how-can-you-know-it.html
Turning from False Guilt to Pleasing God http://faithfictionfunandfanciful.blogspot.com/2012/01/turning-from-false-guilt-to-pleasing.html

Faith Journey Books Posts:

The Beginnings of a New Book Review Site http://faithjourneybooks.blogspot.com/2012/01/beginnings-of-new-book-review-site-with.html - This is the introductory post to a new site for both readers and writers who are interested in stories with a high moral standard and with characters traveling powerful faith journeys.

Presenting Biblical Truths Posts:

Joab's Fire Chapter 17 Discussion: We Can't Change God http://presentingbiblicaltruths.blogspot.com/2012/01/joabs-fire-chapter-17-we-cant-change.html
Joab's Fire Chapter 18 Discussion: Does Our Testimony Stand the Test? http://presentingbiblicaltruths.blogspot.com/2012/01/joabs-fire-chapter-18-does-our.html

I am a regular contributor for the Colonial Quills and these are this weeks posts:

John Winthrop's Prayer of Faith http://colonialquills.blogspot.com/2012/01/john-winthrops-prayer-of-faith.html
Nathaniel Griffith's Fences on Colonial Quills http://colonialquills.blogspot.com/2012/01/nathaniel-griffiths-fences.html

Turning from False Guilt to Pleasing God

2012-01-19T12:31:00.000-08:00

Condemn - to find fault with, blame.

Last night we watched the last half of an Agatha Christy movie. True to form, at the most tense moments, I become overwhelmed by a sense of guilt. What I'm guilty of, I do not know. My thoughts turned to what most people would consider a good thing I'd done and find fault with myself (I do think it is just a physical/hormonal reaction to the tense moments of the movies I watch, but it does plague my mind and requires prayerful attention). When the movie was over I shook my head and said to my husband that I can find guilt in my life even when I've done good and not bad.

Sometimes I battle before going to church. I fear going, because I do not want to sit in the pew and be condemned by the sermon. A silly fear, really. Again, a ploy of Satan to keep me from God's house. If Satan's at work, hurt from guilt only intensifies and grows, spreading through me like cancer.

Over the years, I've learned that when the Holy Spirit does the convicting, peace and healing come soon after.

To prepare for church, I pray. What I know needs to be confessed is confessed. What I know needs to be brought before the Lord, is brought before Him. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice. (Psalm 51:7-8)

I am perpetually at war with my flesh. If it were not for Christ, I would be condemned, and I would experience condemnation.

However, because of Christ, I have life and can live by the Holy Spirit. All praise and glory be to Him. But what happens when I do sin, even though I am saved?

I John 1:9 says:

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

We so easily condemn ourselves. We stand in judgment and end up hindering our walk. Self-condemnation freezes us, keeping us from pleasing God.

Pleasing is different than serving. We exist, and therefore we have the potential to please God. Serving requires action.

Even though I will not experience condemnation, when I sin my ability to serve God is hindered. But that doesn't mean I can't please Him after I have confessed and repent.

And when I listen to the lies of Satan, accusing me of wrong doing, I need to resist him. That is why--in those moments of guilt--I pray. Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts. And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:23-2)

If I am consumed with false guilt, listening to the lies of Satan, I cannot please God. Because I love God, I desire to please Him.

I had an old horse, Woody, who served me well. He was perhaps one of the most obedient horses I have ever worked with. He truly had a tractable heart. But in his last years he developed arthritis and found even easy work difficult to do. Eventually, he was retired to be a "grooming horse." I loved to brush him. I'd talk to him and give him a treat, and he'd nuzzle me back or rub his head on my arm. This provided me great pleasure and comfort. He wasn't usable as a lesson horse anymore, but he was still a great friend.

Even when I am physically incapable of serving God, I can bring Him pleasure.

I think sometimes we put more value on serving God than He does.

We were created for His pleasure.

So we mess up. So did Peter. So did the woman caught in adultery.

Both experienced God's grace. Both had to live with their past and the consequences of it, but both were created for God's pleasure. And in loving God, they would find peace.

We know that once Christ re-affirmed Peter's love, Jesus had a specific task for Peter to do.

We don't know that of the adulterous woman. Yes, she could have spoken about Jesus to others and that would bring God glory and pleasure.

I pray many times a day for God to let me serve Him. My desire is to serve Him. Yet, I must also desire to please Him. Perhaps this should come first, for by pleasing Him, am I not also serving Him?

I'm a task-oriented person. A Martha-type. Sometimes I forget the importance of basking in the light of Christ. Just the sheer joy of being in His presence.

Being a task-oriented person, I naturally put far too much emphasis on the doing of things rather than on who I am in Christ--of the new creature He has made in me--of being Christ-like. God forgive me.

The fact is, how I behave myself (being loving, kind, patient, etc.) is far more important than accomplishing any task. What brings Him pleasure is allowing Him to dwell in me and manifest Himself through me to others. In other words, not what I do (in terms of accomplishing tasks), but who I am.

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me....

Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit. Then will I teach transgressors thy ways and sinners shall be converted unto thee....

O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise. For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

Psalm 51:10-17

God's Will. How Can You Know It?

2012-01-17T12:07:00.000-08:00

We are created for God's glory and good pleasure. All that we do, therefore, should glorify Him. All that we think or say should glorify Him. All our aspirations, our desires, our deepest motivations as well as our most shallow motivations should glorify Him. Our hobbies, our careers, our entertainment, our nourishment, our fellowship, every relationship should bring Him glory.

If we could only hone in every minute aspect of our life to bring Him glory, we would please Him and be in His will.

Yes, sometimes He has a specific plan or direction for you, but you will find he guides you there when you have submitted your thoughts, your motivations, your desires, and your works to Him.

Motivation is why we do what we do. Rarely does a person have a single motivation for an action. Motivations are usually formed in layers. There is the obvious outward motivation. Then there is at least one inner motivation. Unfortunately, we are often unaware of our inner motivations.

To do the will of God, we must captivate our inner and outer motivation and purify them. Like threads in a cord, they must be woven together by a desire to please and glorify God. If one thread is weak, it weakens the whole cord.

For example, if a person desires to be a history teacher, her outer motivation might be a sincere desire for her students to learn about history. Some inner motivations that might also drive that person are:

a personal love for history
a love of telling/ordering people to do things
a love to be the center of attention
a love for the applause of men
a love to be adored by students
a lack of desire to do physical labor or whatever alternative she has to teaching
a love for children

You'll notice in this list that some of the motivations are driven by pride. These are the threads that weaken the cord. Unfortunately, in our human state, we cannot escape these. How then can we glorify God if these exist? Psalm 51:17 says:

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

Praise God for His Holy Spirit and for His mercy and grace. Through His Holy Spirit, motivations can be purged as we humbly surrender ourselves to Him. He convicts; our reaction should be to confess and repent. Each time He convicts, our reaction should be the same until that weak thread is removed and replaced with a stronger one or until the Lord calls us home to be with Him.

How are we to contain these motivations? By containing our thoughts.

For example, praise comes our way. how should we respond? A quiet thank you and glory given to God. Every good thing comes from Him. We shouldn't pat ourselves on our backs and puff out our chest and say to ourselves, "I was good, wasn't I." Only by God's grace can we be good.

In our flesh, we are capable of doing many great things, but they are for naught if we do not seek to offer them back to God.

So how are you to know the will of God?

God's will is first for us to believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that He died as payment for our sins, was buried, and rose again so we might have life. Believing in this, we can glorify Him.

After this, you can know God's will by reading and studying the Bible, believing it to be the sole source of God's Words, and through prayer and fellowship with like-minded believers. His will has more to do with who you are than what you do.

Since we are created for His glory and for His good pleasure, then everything we set our minds to do must be done with the pure motivation of bringing Him honor and glory.

not to please our church
not to please our pastor
not to please men
not to please our family
not even to please yourself

But to please God.

Blogging 2012

2012-01-12T11:26:00.000-08:00

I'm setting out to be a rule breaker.

No. Don't remove me from your list. I'm setting out to break the rules of blogging...or to put it another way, I'm not going to follow conventional wisdom...at least for now.

Conventional wisdom or rule #1 - Plan.

My response for 2012: Not planning. :) Wow, big step for the all-time planner of every aspect of my life. Okay, perhaps 'not planning' isn't entirely true. However, I'm going to blog more by the "seat of my pants" than I have in the past.

Conventional wisdom or rule #2 - Content is King

My response. I know who I am. Sometimes I feel like I have a split personality (Romans 7 describes me perfectly). Some might say, "You can't tell her anything." Code for, she has a mind of her own. And others might say, "She cares too much about what others think." Both are true. What does that have to do with content? I'm going to write what I feel compelled to write, whether it is popular or not. I guess that isn't all that different from what I have been doing. The main difference is attitude. I'll not worry if anyone reads it, only that it honors and glorifies God.

Conventional wisdom or rule #3 - Post regularly, on the same day, at the same time of day.

This rule I'm definitely breaking and on purpose. I have a family. I have a church. I have other obligations. I love to write and blogging provides an outlet for that urge to write, but I don't want it to rule my life. I won't be blogging on any specific day or time...only as time and thought allows. Which is usually pretty regular and consistent. The big change is that I won't be worrying about getting my blog post up if life gets in the way.

Now those blogging gurus are shaking their heads and saying that I'll never succeed. But how are they measuring success? Probably not the same way I am.

However, I do have a pseudo plan and you, my readers, can judge whether the content is worth coming back for more.

Here's the plan. I've created three blogs:

Faith, Fiction, Fun, and Fanciful - this is my main blog. It will be where I hang out. I'll have my cup of coffee and chat about life, about what God is teaching me, and so forth. If someone decides to leave a comment and share a bit of her life, well that's wonderful. I'll welcome it (not spam) and enjoy the conversation.

Faith Journey Books - I'm going to be honest. I'm saddened by many of the novels I see published by those publishers who cater to the Christian Booksellers Association. Grieved, might be more accurate. I could rail against the publishers and authors, but to what end? Bitter hearts, I think.

Why am I grieved by these books? Because they are exchanging truth for a lie, and the godliness for the world's favor. They've been deceived into believing that you draw the world to Christ by living like the world and writing books that reflect this. Okay, that is a huge generalization. I realize that, but it is the root cause.

So Faith Journey Books will be a blog (and much more) that recognizes novels containing characters with clear spiritual journeys reflecting Biblical truth. There I will post my thoughts on what makes a good book as well as reviews. It will also be a teaching blog where authors can learn writing techniques. It it will be more...but some of that is still being thought out.

Presenting Biblical Truths - At this blog you'll find the Bible studies for Joab's Fire. When these are completed, we'll move onto my next book, A Week of Faith More Precious than Gold. And after that will be another book, and so on.

Each Friday I'll list the links to the posts for the week from these three blogs, with a short synopsis. At least, that is my tentative plan.

Okay, so I kinda conformed to blogging convention #1, but I'm hoping this will please God. After all, He's the only one I should want to please.

True Christian Faith Requires Humility

2012-01-11T10:27:00.000-08:00

Already 2012 speeds ahead, like a thoroughbred from the starting gates, and I'm still wanting to reflect on last year.

True to my nature, I feel lost without a game plan...at least one that is down on paper, all the details worked out, and every aspect examined. But methinks this is the way of 2012...a walk in faith.

Have you ever thought about faith? Yes, we can quote Hebrews 11:1.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

But have you ever dug a little deeper?

I have hoped for success of this, that, or the other area. I've hoped for a husband, and the Lord blessed me with the perfect one for me. I've hoped for children, and He gave me wonderful ones who daily bless me.

But I think faith, as a follower of Christ, goes much deeper than that. The hope Hebrews 11 speaks of is not of this world. The faith, therefore, should not be focused on worldly things.

The faith Enoch had kept him from seeing death. The faith Noah had made him an heir of righteousness. The faith Abraham had caused him to leave all that was familiar to him and focus on a city whose builder and maker is God.

I look at 2012 and I feel a bit like Abraham. I have no idea what the year will bring, but I sense great changes will happen. Our carefully planning last fall did not contain easily foreseeable things. I believe God will be taking me places I've never been before. Whether I'll stay in those places, I don't know. But I do know I must walk in obedience, even as Abraham did.

Obedience is the testimony of faith. James 2:17 says:

Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone.

Easy to work obedience when you know precisely what acts you are to perform. Not so easy when obedience simply means watch and pray. At least for someone like me, who has to stay busy. Still, there is a peace when you obey even when it is simply to watch and pray.

A person who truly follows Christ exhibits his faith beyond a list of dos and don'ts. A quietness in the heart that trusts God to lead and keep him safe even when the world screams that's impossible or threatens to 'do you in'. The peace of God resides in that faith.

The willingness to die entirely to oneself and live wholly for the Lord requires faith. A person who makes his life a true living sacrifice isn't setting his hope on what the world will bring him or on the praises of men. Such a person focuses on an eternal hope and is driven by love, believing that the only way to live a full and wonderful life is to die to his physical and emotional desires and needs, and live sacrificially even as Christ did--taking the beating of the world in order to bring someone to a saving knowledge of God. This kind of faith that sent William Carey to India and Hudson Taylor to China. Oh that I could have such faith.

I think of David who knew God had a plan for him and was willing to wait for God to work the plan. That kind of faith requires humility. In fact, true Christian faith cannot act or accomplish anything except it be done in humility.

Last year I faced mountains of opposition that often brought me sorrow, not because of my loss but because of the losses others unknowingly received. Anytime someone chooses to follow the world instead of God, they have tremendous loss--maybe not in this world, but in the world to come. Yet,in the face of those mountains I saw God's hand, felt God's peace. I'd not trade that for anything.

I believe the trials I faced made me more heavenly-minded, stronger in faith, and more at peace. They contended with my pride and revealed to me how very much I needed Christ's perfect sacrifice. They increased my desire to be as Paul and to magnify Christ "whether it be by life, or by death" (Philippians 1:20).

2012 can bring what it may, but my God is greater. To Him be all glory, honor, and praise.

A New Year Is a Good Excuse for a New Beginning

2012-01-04T09:29:00.000-08:00

The end of a year is a good time for reflection. Some of my verses of prayer last year were:

"Lead me, O LORD, in thy righteousness because of mine enemies; make thy way straight before my face." Psalm 5:8

"Teach me thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies." Psalm 27:11

"Thy way, O God, is in the sanctuary: who is so great a God as our God?" Psalm 77:13

I know that the only way for me is to follow God. When I step off the path He made for me, I fall and hurt myself and those around me. The fear of the Lord and the love I have for Him hold me to the course He sets for me.

A new year is a good excuse for a new beginning. I'm so thankful that God's mercies are new every morning, and I don't have to wait twelve months to receive them. But I digress...

Since before Thanksgiving, my husband and I have been doing some soul-searching, praying, and careful planning for 2012. I found it most fitting that our pastor started the year with a sermon on taking the next step in faith, for that is exactly where we, as a family, are at.

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1

2012 will require our family to have faith. I anticipate a great deal of change for us, but I'll only focus on one in this post.

Over the Christmas vacation, a few things were revealed to me about myself.

I don't enjoy playing board games or card games and have a terrible short attention span when I do play them, much to my family's chagrin. I'm more willing to play a game of monopoly with them on the iPad than on the board because it goes faster, but even then I have little patience. While my family can easily get caught up in some Wii game competition or playing with each other on the iPads/iPods. You'll see them sitting around the table or sprawled across a bed holding their idevices and talking to each other about the game they are playing. Not me. I am quite content to disappear into a world I create of my own...through writing.
I am impatient with most people's concept of fun. I'm not a sports fan. I don't particularly enjoy playing baseball or football or what-have-you, and there are very few movies/shows I consider worth sitting through. Am I Grinch or what? And I hate arguments/discussions that contain disagreements, where one person pits himself against another for the sheer joy of debate.
I have moments of intense loneliness of which I would not want anyone to fix. What? I loved that Christmas day was just my family and I. We're too far to visit extended family, and no one in our church ever invites us over for Christmas or Thanksgiving, etc. because they have their own families...and I'm okay with this. Okay, so I admit to shedding a few tears when I'd go on Facebook and see that so and so spent time with so and so sometime during the two weeks of Christmas vacation. And then I ask myself, "But are you really unhappy over it?" Well, let's just say I'm content. My health issues makes it difficult for people to have me over and in all honesty, I get tired very easily. While I'd love to visit with friends, sometimes an evening out can drain me for the next day or so.
I could always have people over. Yes. This is something I very much enjoy--happy endorphins multiply many times when I get to entertain. But isn't "have someone over" the pat answer given to people who feel lonely? In my teen and early twenties I discovered that inviting people over only intensified the incredible feeling of loneliness because it led to people saying no or just not showing up, and you sit in your living room with snack food all around you and no one to share it with. Of course, I don't have that problem anymore. Just the memory of it.

Now, before you start thinking I'm depressed, I'm not. I'm building to something.

The last two weeks of 2011 provided for me time to reflect on who I am in relation to God, who God is, and how I can better serve/please/glorify Him. That's the umbrella. Then I began to look what was underneath the umbrella. What were these statements covering?

I've lived many places in my life. I've seen people come to new areas and begin a new life. I've seen people come and go from churches, and I've asked why?

Like it or not, we require companionship. Some people more than others. But where do we seek companionship? One question I asked my husband was, "Where do you feel like you belong?" As I pondered our response to this question, both as individuals and as a couple, and then looking at it as a family, I began to see how important fun is. Yup, back up to those four points above.

I find working fun (except housework...that's not so fun). I find writing fun. I find yard work fun. I find reading fun. But these things are best done alone (well, it depends what your work is). People, when they seek out fellowship usually gravitate toward that which is fun. Okay, I know, you all learned this back when you were a toddler or preschooler...I admit I'm a little slow.

So, to make a long story short (yes, I know, too late), this year I plan to have more fun...well, more of what most people call fun. Okay, so you're asking, why? Why do what other people want for fun rather than what I want? Because a part of pleasing God means providing for others a good fellowship. If good fellowship for someone else means doing things I don't particularly enjoy, then I want to be more willing to do that for that person's good. If doing so will make her life a little less lonely, or keep her from going to the world and all its traps and pitfalls for fun, then it is well worth it.

See, we live in an age when people can be entertained every minute of the day. Temptation to have ungodly fellowship is an iPhone away. Four hundred years ago they feared small pox and storms and wild animals. Today we fear computer viruses, and media storms, and two-legged vicious creatures. So we need each other. We need to enjoy each others' company.

There are those that wander the periphery of our churches, perhaps knowing that what is taught there is good, but not knowing how to become a part of the actual fellowship, not feeling like they belong. Yes, they can go to church functions. Yes, they can help in some sort of church ministry. But at the end of the day, who will be their friend? Who will they sit across the table from and play some whacky game that gets their mind off their troubles for just a moment? And through that fun, develop a lasting relationship that helps them draw closer to God.

Yeah, this probably sounds like an excuse to just have fun, but if you knew me, you'd know that grasping this is a big thing.

I'll probably not get over the fact that for me, personally, playing a board game or a Wii game is a waste of time. I'd rather go do something productive. But, if doing such a thing would keep another from being lonely, from seeking companionship with the world, and help that person feel like she belongs, then I need to be willing to sacrifice my precious time.

This is only one of my new beginnings for 2012, I have many that I'm holding close to my heart, waiting to see where God leads. 2012 will be a year of major changes for me, of that I am quite certain.

"Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching." Hebrews 10:25

Christmas is coming!

2011-12-15T11:06:00.000-08:00

I am so looking forward to the Christmas holidays. True to form, I have planned out every detail, down to what Wii game we'll play when. Yeah. I know. I go a little overboard.

This Christmas, however, I do plan to slow down (whatever that is) and spend as much time playing with the kids as I can.

Of course, there are all those other plans, like going through all those bins to toss, keep, and give away. Then there's the yard work that needs to be done (happens when you live in CA). And oh, don't forget dental appointments, weddings, Christmas Church services,...

Okay, okay. Slowing down may not be the right word for Christmas holidays, but I am going to make an effort.

First, I will not be blogging. This will be my last post on this blog until the New Year. Changes are coming. Minor changes really. I'll explain them when I get back in January.

Oh, by the way, if you are looking for a gift to give, consider Joab's Fire. Yes, I have to get at least one promo in today...it's part of being a published writer. You have to sell books, so I sell books...er...I tell people to buy the book. I suppose God will give the increase.

No, I haven't forgotten about God. In fact, He is one of the reasons I am slowing down. This year has gone by at lightspeed. And when that happens, well, I start missing those lengthy times of quiet, comfortable fellowship with my Lord and Saviour. Of late, the longing just to sit in His presence is stronger than ever. So a lot of my focus these next couple of weeks will be on sitting with Him, just thanking Him for His blessing, praising Him for all He is, rejoicing in the salvation He gave me, and resting in the comfort of His arms. Praise be to God, I have the freedom to do this.

Well, I hope that you will enjoy this holiday season, but most important, I hope you take time to fellowship with God. After all, the holidays would be empty and pointless if He hadn't sent His Son, born of a virgin, to live on earth, to die on the cross, to be buried, and to rise again so that He could pay the price for our sins. All praise and glory belong to Him.

God's Grace is Sufficient for Me

2011-12-13T09:41:00.000-08:00

A few months ago I experienced one of those tough days.

That evening, a dear friend shared a portion of the following verse with me:

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." II Corinthians 12:9

Often we say "His grace is sufficient," as a way to bolster one another when faced with difficult circumstances. Over the last few days I've meditated on this portion of Scripture, allowing it to sink into my heart.

I'm a rather emotional creature. I've been that way all my life. Often I bemoan the fact that these crazy emotions seem to control me, rather than me control them.

I'm also a very passionate person, throwing my all into whatever stirs my passion.

I also love the Lord, and desire to love Him with all of my life, every minute, every bit of energy, every breath, every deed.

When you add these aspects of my character together you get a person who can emote under stress, refusing to give up and remaining willing to die for the cause of Christ. Okay, so I've never faced actual physical death for the cause of Christ. Still, death can come in many forms. But I digress.

The Apostle Paul was an exceptional man chosen by God to do exceptional things. However, he wasn't without a weakness or two.

"And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure." II Corinthians 12:7

I've read and heard many diverse ideas on what this thorn in the flesh was. Personally, I'm quite glad Paul didn't tell us what it was...I think with it open ended we can more easily apply the principle of the message to our own personal situation.

We do know a few things about this thorn in the flesh.

It was allowed in order to keep Paul humble
It was a messenger of Satan
It was to buffet (to maltreat or treat with violence and insults) Paul
It brought out a weakness, whether by producing it or shedding light on it

In context, I think we can surmise that it had something to do with how Paul suffered for Christ:

"Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong." II Corinthians 12:10

Paul was a great man of God, and with the exception of Jesus Christ, perhaps the greatest teacher of Truth. God inspired him to write many letters that now make up a large portion of the New Testament. Even so, he was still a man. Pride was still an issue. God, it seems, needed to help him see that he was indeed weak.

I look at Job. We get to see the actual interview between Satan and God in Job 1-2. Job suffered and didn't know why. Paul suffered, and because of the Holy Spirit, because of his personal connection with Christ, he was made to understand that there was a reason - one for his own benefit and one for Christ's. I think the same could be said for Job when you read the end of that book.

II Corinthian demonstrates a clear focus. Paul doesn't fear the infirmities, the reproaches, the necessities, the persecutions, the distresses because his all is given for Christ. Paul was a driven man, a passionate man. His entire life was dedicated to serving Christ. So when hardships came his way as a result of living 100% for the Lord he didn't collapse and bemoan the situation. Instead, he took pleasure in it. He enjoyed it. I think these situations where people opposed him or incurred hardship on him energized him. Why? Because of Christ.

Throughout my life I've had people try to tell me to stop. "You'll make yourself sick," they'll say. "You need to enjoy life," they say. "You'll not make enough money to live on," they say. But what they fail to understand is that I take joy in the battle...sometimes, admittedly, perhaps for not the right reason--but then too, God's grace is sufficient.

A year ago last January I went door-knocking with my girls. Generally when you have kids with you people are a little kinder when they reject your invitation to come to church. On this day, the first lady to greet us was antagonistic. I suppose her response should have made me quell at the idea of continuing, but I found it energized me. I was standing up for my Lord, and I would do it again. I wonder if this is what Paul spoke of when he said, "Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches".

The thorn in Paul's flesh was from Satan with the purpose of maltreating, perhaps through physical violence or perhaps through insult or perhaps both.

I've encountered people who, while believing they are helping me, actually hinder me in my walk. These people have a different worldview than I do. Their values are different. Their perspectives are different, and even when they claim to be Christian, their faith is different. Because of these differences, they work against me and not for me, as they like to think they are.

I love how God strengthens me when I meet such people.

I'm generally a prideful person, filled with insecurities, loving to have the praise of men, seeking to fulfill my personal wants and desires. So when a person confronts me or becomes contentious towards me and what I value, by nature I am deflated, hurt, and want to run to lick my wounds.

However, I've noticed that when God is the one in control during these confrontations, when the conflict is really against Him and not me, He strengthens me. He becomes the rod in my back, the breastplate and shield, the helmet and the belt, and He shod's my feet. He equips me with the Sword, which is the word of God. And I am able to stand. Indeed, His grace is sufficient for me.

This past year has been very difficult for a variety of reasons. I have felt the enemy surround me and launch his attack from all sides. But I can attest to the fact that God's grace is sufficient. With each difficult step I've had to take, I've found He gave me strength.

Sure, I've made mistakes along the way. I'm so thankful that I can go to Him, confess my sins and my failures, and find true forgiveness. What a beautiful relationship I have with my God because of what Christ did for me.

The battle isn't over. It won't be until God calls me home to be with Him. He has given me, however, what I need to live victoriously, and it is none of my doing but all of His.

"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places...Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked...Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;" Ephesians 6:10-18

I'm thankful for my dear friend, who took the time to remind me that God's grace is sufficient. I'm not alone. His strength is made perfect in weakness, and therefore I can glory in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

How Do You Gain Faith that God Will Answer Prayer?

2011-12-09T09:36:00.000-08:00

When studying Matthew 9:27-31, where the blind men cry to Jesus to have mercy on them, I asked this question: how do I gain the faith that God will answer my prayer?

You see, I have things in my life that I have prayed for over a long period of time. I've prayed for the salvation of loved ones. I've prayed for victories over sins and weaknesses and ailments in my own life. I've prayed for our country to turn back to God and for the leaders of our nation. Though I pray these things, at times I have been guilty of concluding God will not answer my prayers.

When the blind men came to Jesus (after Jesus seemed to ignore them by going into a house), Jesus said to them "Believe ye that I am able to do this?" (Matt. 9:28).

I wondered why Jesus asked them this. Was it possible that they doubted He was able to do it? Was it possible He spoke those words for the benefit of someone else in the house? Was He trying their faith in order to strengthen it?

I suppose any of those scenarios are possible.

Then Jesus touched their eyes and said, "According to your faith be it unto you." And voila, their eyes are opened. Why did Jesus say this? What was lacking in their faith? Was it for the benefit of others in the room?

Because these words are recorded, I believe they are meant for me to read and to learn...they are meant for me.

I have a tendency to race forward assuming the Lord is with me. Then I arrive at a point, look around and become fearful because I can't see God. Lord, where are You? I thought this was what You wanted me to do?

Praise the Lord for His great mercy and patience.

As I go along in life, I am realizing how little I understand and know of God and man. One thing I am learning, having faith isn't about what you receive in the end. Having faith is about being faithful and obedient. Yes, we can pray. Yes God delights in answering our prayers, but He takes a greater pleasure in seeing us remain faithful to Him.

How many times have I gone to Him in prayer, thinking I am in His will, only to discover pride propelled me to pray, not a humble heart surrendered to God?

Can God perform miracles? I have no doubt He can.

However, often I doubt that He would do so for me. I forget sometimes just how much He loves me. I forget sometimes to praise Him before others for the things He has done for me. I often struggle with the notion that I wasn't good enough to earn God's favor (and what a bunch of phewy that is - how could I even think that I could earn His favor).

I am beginning to understand the answers to life are not in the answers to prayers. My faith cannot rest on whether God answers my prayers the way I want them answered. That is a shallow faith that dies under the heat of life's pressures.

Faith is a noun. It exists, not because of any act on my part. It simply is. Faith is something you can obtain.

Believing is a verb. It is an action.

Jesus said, "Believe ye that I am able to do this?" He required an action. The blind men spoke, "Yea, Lord." The action happened.

Jesus said, "According to your faith be it unto you." The thing of faith belonged to the blind men. They had taken an action and now owned faith. The first action was to follow Jesus and call out to Him, "Thou Son of David, have mercy on us." They believed in their heart, acted, and gained faith.

Yes, when you consider their hearts, it is more complex then that. But sometimes going to the simplest form helps us to understand a little better the larger concept.

Believing is an action. That action reveals the faith.

So how does one gain faith that God answers prayers?

What action can we take?

Praying
Reading God's Word
Remembering what He has done in the past
Taking steps of faith, like the blind men following Jesus into the house and answering "Yea, Lord" to His question.
Remaining faithful to Him no matter how far He takes us before He stops and asks us "Believe ye that I am able to do this?"

Since faith is a noun, you either have it or you don't. Since believing is an action, you need to put it to work. But what will that action reveal? What type of faith will come of it?

Romans 10:17 says:

"So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God."

In the context of this verse, the faith refers to salvation, but the principle remains the same. The action is hearing; the faith comes by hearing.

James 2:17-20 says:

"Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone. Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works. Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble. But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead?"

How we act out reveals the kind of faith we have. If we do nothing, what does that say about our faith? If we throw a temper tantrum because we did not get the answer we wanted, what does that say about our faith? If we cry out to God that we would rather die than be where we are, what does that reveal about our faith?

In our minds desires form. We want something, and we must believe that we can get it. We pray. Sometimes that is all we need do. God answers with a yes. Sometimes we need to have a walk of faith. Through that walk we discover what we thought we desired is not what we really desired. God reveals to us a better desire or our true desire.

Sometimes we do not receive an answer because we need to go along that path of faith. What does that mean? Simply walking in obedience to the Lord with our eyes not on the things of this world or the situations we find ourselves in, but on eternity. Often when we walk our perspective changes, and we no longer see our prayer request as the driving force to our actions and prayers, rather we simply learn to love God more.

How do you gain faith that God will answer prayer is perhaps the wrong question. The focus of that question is on what we gain instead of loving God. In the end, we need to love God more than we love what we prayed for. When we love Him more, we'll trust Him for the right outcome. Then we'll see our faith for what it is.

Mommy, why do people worship gods?

2011-12-08T09:23:00.000-08:00

I love driving my kids to and from school. It provides a wonderful opportunity to discuss all sorts of interesting things. One day, my son wondered why people worship gods of stone and iron and such.

Many people take an object, like a rabbit's foot, and attach a superstition to it. A rabbit's foot is supposed to bring good luck. A person rubs it or puts it in his pocket believing that having it with him will bring him good luck. The worship of images is similar.

People formed these images to represent something: an idea, a hope, a spirit, a person or saint, etc. Believing they will obtain favor or thwart punishment or bad luck, they perform certain rituals (like rubbing the rabbit's foot). Such faith, however, is in vain.

Unfortunately, many approach God the same way. They seek to appease Him with their good works or ritualistic worship. They go through a series of rituals to appeal to Him and get Him to do what they want Him to do. Such a relationship is not guided by love, a major component of the faith of Jesus Christ.

There is nothing that we can do that will make ourselves 'right' with God. We can't cling to our parents' faith, and say, "I'm saved because I was raised in a Christian home." You performed your own sin acts. You've exacted your own sin debt. Only you can humble yourself, repent, and call on the name of the Lord for your own sins. Your parents can't do it for you.

"I am crucified with Christ:..." Galatians 2:20.

"I am" is personal. It isn't "my family is crucified with Christ..." It is "I am". You cannot inherit your salvation from your parents, though they can have influence on your faith.

We can't work our way to Heaven. No amount of church-going, praying, rubbing of charms, baptism, good works, or Bible reading can save you. There is only one work, and that was the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ for our sins.

"For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast." Ephesians 2:8-9.

If you prayed the "sinners' prayer" just to appease your family, or to fit in with your friends, or simply for fire insurance, then your faith will not pass the tests that will come. You are treating God in the same manner as those who worship man-made gods. It becomes a work, not a walk of faith.

Hebrews 11:6 says:

"But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him."

The difference between faith and works at times is but a hair. God desires that we seek Him. He wants us to love Him. But if we are only coming to Him to get fire insurance, we are not truly seeking Him, only what we can get from Him.

Why do people worship gods? Often they simply want someone or something to do their will, to grant them their wishes, to answer their prayers. So they create an object and say, "Here is my god who will do my bidding."

That is not how we should approach God Almighty, Lord of lords, and King of kings.

God rewards those who diligently seek Him. How does one diligently seek Him?

Begin by humbling yourself;
Pray and call out to Him;
Read God's Word - hunger after it;
Turn from your old ways.

"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." II Chronicles 7:14

"That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation." Romans 10:9-10

We must not approach God with the notion of getting what we want and then going our way. That is treating Him like a rabbit's foot. He's much more than that.

God desires to give us good things, but He is not a "sugar daddy" handing out treats at our request, or a barter in a market expecting to make bargains with us.

Let's not worship God Almighty like He was an image we created for our own purposes. Let us fear Him, love Him, and seek Him with all our heart, all our soul and all our might.

"And now, Israel, what doth the LORD thy God require of thee, but to fear the LORD thy God, to walk in all his ways, and to love him, and to serve the LORD thy God with all thy heart and with all thy soul, to keep the commandments of the LORD, and his statutes, which I command thee this day for thy good?" Deut. 10:12-13

How have you been treating God? Has He become your rabbit's foot? Or do you truly Love Him, willing to accept His will in all things?

How Do Your Associations Measure Up?

2011-12-06T09:08:00.000-08:00

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?" II Corinthians 6:14-15

There comes a point in every Christian's life when he needs to assess who he associates with, whether the fellowship is God-pleasing or not. Sometimes we can't avoid who we are around, such as at a workplace, but many times we can. I am specifically looking at those we chose to associate with.

The word "fellowship" means participation, particularly with respect to sharing.

The word "communion" indicates an intimacy, particularly seen in a partnership or relationship in which people benefit from each other.

The word "concord" means agreement or a relationship in which the parties conform to each other.

In the business world, we set out agreements or partnerships with the notion of benefiting all parties involved. When we join an association or club we do so because of like interests or values.

But what happens when the values of the members of the group you are with begin to change, to drift away from your core values and beliefs? What should you do? How long should you stay?

For almost two years I have been weighing the benefit of a writer's association with which I have membership. When I initially joined I was seeking to learn from others who have succeeded in writing, specifically from a Christian worldview. Perhaps that was my first mistake. There is a difference between a Christian worldview and a Biblical worldview. It shouldn't be that way, but it is. A Christian worldview is formed by man's opinion of what God says. A Biblical worldview is formed by a literal interpretation of what the Bible says about God, man, and society.

Last summer a friend of mine emailed me her review of a book she read. The story greatly disturbed her. This book was published by a major CBA (Christian Booksellers Association) publisher. The fact that a CBA book disturbed her was nothing new. For the past few years we've noticed a disturbing trend of Christian publishing moving away from solid Biblical values and teachings to a position of smoozing with the world. Often they qualify these books as edgy, indicating the books contain content that might be offensive to some.

Because of this trend and because of conversations I've had with people far more liberal in their views than I am, I have begun to question my association. I find myself pulling away, bit by bit, and one day, I foresee myself ending the relationship.

When I look at this passage in II Corinthians, I picture a team of horses I once drove years ago. One of the horses was a small quarter horse, gamey but short. The other horse was an old horse with heaves (liken it to asthma) who stood a good hand (4 inches) taller than the first. The old horse's heaves weakened him. The new horse would leap ahead, causing the old horse to work harder. Eventually the old horse collapsed. For a team to be effective, they must pull together. If one pulls ahead, the double tree (liken it to the yoke on oxen) pushes the other one back. But when they pull together, they share the load. This team did not work together and caused the old horse to labor more than necessary. The end result was disastrous for the old horse.

This association I'm with claims to help Christian authors grow in their writing and claims to service the public by providing a list of quality books.

But I've noticed a trend.

Many Christian authors are independently published. The association won't help them market their books (the assumption being that independently published books are of lower quality, and it would take too much time to find the odd gem). The publishers this association lists as ones which sell good quality books are putting out the occasional fiction with a lower moral standard than I adhere to and some books display teachings contrary to the true Gospel and true Biblical teachings. The trend greatly disturbs me for many reasons.

If this association is the horse hitched to the doubletree beside me, we're working against each other. I, being independently published, surge ahead with innovation. They hang back, embracing a system controlled by a philosophy that traditional publishers are the gatekeepers and perfecters of books. They leap forward on the notion of edgy fiction, new twists to old teachings, and other philosophies contrary to sound Biblical teachings; I hold back on the notion an author needs to protect the imagination of the reader, glorify God, and hold to a literal (also known as conservative) interpretation of Scripture.

The association and I are not pulling together.

Certain considerations need to be assessed before severing the relationship. After all, I've met some of my closest friends through this association. Being a member has status. Those who are in the know will recognize the name of the organization attached to my name and be inclined to see me in a more favorable light because of it. Hmm. Seems to me that's seeking the favor of man.

I had certain responsibilities as a chapter president. That ended in September, but no one is stepping up to the plate to take over the position. That was my first step in distancing myself. I'm waiting to see what decisions the national board will make with respect certain challenges they faced this year. Will they uphold their profession of faith, or will they give in to political correctness and a friendship with the world?

I want to do what is honoring to God. No doubt those reading this post who know the organization will know precisely what I am referring to. I suppose I risk losing some of their friendships. Perhaps even risk being defamed by them.

"Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, and will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty." II Corinthians 6:17.

Come spring of next year, I will need to decide whether to renew my membership or not. To do so is a step in a direction away from common wisdom. It is a step I would not chose to make without prayer and careful consideration. I am placing a lot of hope on the new board members succeeding in turning the direction of this large organization and returning it to a Biblical worldview.

I will be praying for the board. I desire that all of them would stand on Biblical Truth and not flirt with the world, for the sake of their own relationship with God.

Interview with Christine Lindsay

2011-12-05T10:26:00.000-08:00

I'd like to introduce to you my friend, Christine Lindsay. We met in a historical writer's group and discovered we had connections via Trinity Western University. Christine, thank you for joining me today.

Tell us about your name?

My writing name is my maiden name. I use this with the blessing of my husband because my married name is very difficult to pronounce. Way too many consonants. But don't let that fool you----I am so much in love with my husband, David. He is the most wonderful husband in the whole world.

Tell us about your writing.

My debut novel is Shadowed in Silk which is set in India just after WW1. Ever since I was a child I've had a love for India and her people which has grown over the years. The story is about a young woman who comes out to India to be reunited with her husband after 4 long years of war, only to discover he is a cruel stranger. It's a love story that only God can sort out. It is also set during a true event in India that shook the British Empire to the core and was the beginning of the end of British colonial rule over India.

Please share with us your personal salvation testimony.

From the time I was a little baby I had been told the story of salvation through Christ. When I was a girl of about 13 I gave my heart to the Lord at a youth convention. However, I tried to live on both sides of the fence for many years---trying to act like a Christian and yet getting involved in the same sorts of behavior as kids at school. When I was 20 I became pregnant out of wedlock. That was my wake-up call. I realized that I had to start walking on the straight and narrow with the Lord.

But because I was unmarried, I wanted my child to have a loving, attentive dad as well as a loving attentive mom (me). So I chose to relinquish my child to adoption, and through a private Christian organization chose a couple who would raise her to trust the Lord. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. God was so good to me though. A year after I gave up my baby girl, Sarah, I met my sweetheart of a husband.

The Lord filled my empty arms 3 times over with our children whom I'm crazy about. And all of my kids know and love the Lord. But I never forgot Sarah.

Jump forward 20 years now.

When Sarah was 20 years old we were reunited as birth-mom and birth-daughter. It was the moment I had been praying for, for 20 years. And while I was filled with joy to be reunited with her, it also broke my heart. Seeing Sarah again brought back all the pain of giving her up in the first place.

However, through that pain I have come to learn something of the Lord's heart. My love for my kids (including Sarah) seems so huge, but it pales in comparison to God's love for us.

I have chosen as my life verse, Isaiah 49:15, 16a

"Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands..."

Can you share an anecdote of how your writing/speaking has touched a reader.

I use my life verse, the one above in Isaiah often when I speak because it pertains so well with my own personal birth-mother story. I wrote it all out on my blog, www.christinelindsay.org the entire decision to chose adoption, and then the reunion so years later. Whenever I speak on this theme, it dawns on has dawns on many women just how much God loves.

Grace Is a New Beginning

2011-12-02T09:18:00.000-08:00

“What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?” Romans 6:1-2

During my twenties I moved a lot. In the school year I’d be in one apartment. In the summer I would move to whatever place a job would take me, then returned to a different apartment for the next school year.

Each move presented new opportunities, a fresh start, a chance to put my best foot forward.

Each place brought new lessons and often ended with me either failing to learn the lesson or well enlightened.

There is much ado about grace in Christendom these days, but do we understand its life changing qualities? Sure, grace isn’t anything new.We read about it through the Old Testament and the New Testament. Yet, when itis extended to each person, it feels new--it presents itself as a new beginning.

Grace is a gift given to someone who doesn’t deserve it. We don’t deserve to receive God’s gift of grace He provided through the death, burial, and resurrection of His Son, Jesus Christ, for our sins. He gives it to us because He loves us and understands our very great need.

When we receive God’s grace that brings salvation, we start a new life. The result of our old sinful life was death, but in our new life we become a new creature and live eternally. Isn’t that wonderful news?

When my husband and I moved to California, we needed a new beginning. We were dissatisfied with our life in British Columbia, in particular our church, which seemed to move farther away from presenting Biblical truth and closer to the world. When we moved down here, we searched for three months before finding our current church. At this new church, we had a new beginning. The Gospel was clearly preached, and my husband was saved. We could never go back to our old church, because it has nothing to offer us that could compare to this new life.

That is how grace works. We find the old life is no longer appealing, and the new life we have in Christ amazing and wonderful. Don’t let anyone fool you into believing God’s grace doesn’t instigate change—that you can go on living the way you did before. In fact, if you are truly seeking Christ, you won't want to live in that old life. It would be distasteful to you. Sure you might be tempted from time to time, might even slip and fall, but overall you won't want to cling to the old life with the same passion you did before. You won't be perfect because you live in the flesh, and it wars against you. However, your attitude toward the old life will have changed. That is evidence of your new faith.

If you have truly found God’s grace then you have died to your old life and are made new in a life in Christ.

“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature:old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” II Corinthians5:17

Faith Isn't About Believing You'll Get What You Want

2011-12-01T08:59:00.000-08:00

"If I just believe hard enough."

"If I name it and claim it, God has to do it."

"If I pray long enough, fast, and cover myself with sack cloth and ashes..."

"God, if You do this for me, then I'll do that for You."

"You just have to believe, and it will happen."

We tend toward two false perceptions of faith:

If we simply believe enough, God will do it, and if He doesn't then we didn't have enough faith.
If we bargain with God and hold up our end of the deal, then we can get Him to answer 'yes' to our prayers.

Hebrews 11:1 says:

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

Taken out of context, one would think God is saying that if we believe in what we cannot see, then it exists. If that were the case, then fairies exist simply because we believe they do.

However, when you look at the entire chapter, you do find some people did not receive the blessings of life we associate with answered prayers. I'm sure when the Hebrew children cried unto God from Egypt they didn't expect the plagues. I'm sure they didn't expect to go through the wilderness to get to their promised land. I'm sure David didn't pray to be hated by Saul, and yet David endured that for a period of time before God handed the kingdom over to him.

Hebrews 11:13 says:

"These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth."

In my life I have prayed in great earnest for things I would never receive. Even this year I've asked for what might seem to some a miracle or something near impossible. At times I have kneeled before God, burdened, longing for my desire to be given to me. "Lord, have I not lived my life for You?" Apparently not, if I'm asking that question.

Multiple times I have had to surrender the issue to God, being willing to accept His will in the situation and continue forward in obedience. Of recent, I'm learning the depth of that kind of faith.

True faith isn't simply believing that you will get what you want out of life or the answers to your prayers. True Christian faith is about surrendering and obeying.

When I look through history, great men and women of faith died, not receiving the answers to their prayers. Why then are they called people of faith? Not for what they received here on earth, but for remaining steadfast and obedient, looking to the eternal life they will enjoy with Christ.

When we pray, we should believe that God will answer it. We should believe that God, in His goodness, will give us what is best for us. We should also acknowledge that what is best for us is not always what we deem as good. AND we should be aware that we may have to go through the wilderness or be chased by a madman (like David was by King Saul) before we receive the answers to our prayers.

True faith demonstrates itself by walking in obedience even when that path seems to be in the opposite direction.

Consider David. In I Samuel 26 King Saul lay sleeping, an easy target. David's path to the kingship laid open before him. Even his close friend, Abishai, believed God had delivered King Saul into David's hand. Wasn't it a sign?

David's response:

"The LORD forbid that I should stretch forth mine hand against the LORD's anointed." (I Samuel 26:10)

David chose to walk in obedience, and in so doing, demonstrated a tremendous faith that God would keep His promise. Through his life as a fugitive, David sought to honor and please God. The circumstances were tough, but David's faith did not waiver.

In my life I have seen people move in what they have called a step of faith, only to find that the step they had made was one of disobedience. A step of disobedience, one which tarnishes or destroys a testimony, does not bring pleasure to God, and it doesn't demonstrate faith.

I have seen that more faith is required to stay on a path of humility and integrity, as David did, than is required to blindly claim to believe God will answer your prayer.

Of late, I find God teaching me to walk in obedience and wait. I find Him teaching me to be satisfied with my circumstances and allow Him to work in His time. I need only to walk with humility and in integrity, seeking to please God will all my thoughts, all my reactions, and all that I do--moment by moment, trial by trial, and blessing by blessing.

To God be all glory, and honor, and praise.

What Did the Debt Debate and Burn Notice Have in Common

2011-11-29T08:51:00.000-08:00

"The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride and arrogancy and the evil way, and the froward mouth do I hate." Proverbs 8:13.

If you asked my husband, he'd probably say I obsessed over the Debt Debate. Each evening I would listen to the videos on my Fox News app, and just to give myself a balanced view, I listen to CNN videos.

The other night I was struck by how similar the rhetoric of the two sides were, even though their positions are cosmically different. Both blame the other side. Both point to the same facts and give their own interpretation, usually making a point of how the other side just doesn't get it.

If not for my hope in Christ, I'd be in a panic about the future of our economy.

Friday nights my husband and I watch Burn Notice. Inevitably I have to read for an hour or more afterward because I'm so stressed out (you'd think I'd learn to not bother watching the show). Why? Because I can't handle the drama of living out lies or deception. The characters all live in a world of deceit and must try to remember all the lies they've told in order to deceive another. Oy, it plays on one of my worst fears, that someone would consider me a liar and frame me for some crime that portrays me as a great deceiver.

Between the news and these shows I could turn into a lunatic (perhaps some people think I'm already there). Society today has no fear of the Lord, if we measure it by Proverbs 8:13. The norm in politics is to give half-truths in order to better position yourself in the eyes of the public. TV shows have the bad guys do good and the good guys (like the FBI or CIA) do bad. We've mixed things up so that most people are confused about what is right and what is wrong and out spews relativism.

But if we truly feared the Lord, then we'd have a clear picture of right and wrong. We'd not exalt the villains (like in Despicable Me...oy, I think we've watched that show 100 times since we got the DVD). We'd not consider lying or half-truths or falsehoods or partial truths as the norm, rather we'd demand that the men and women have integrity and speak truth. We'd demand it of the media who promote fear-mongering and feed on sensationalism.

When I turn off my iPad, I could easily drown in a sea of hopelessness for the future of our nation. Yet, I find instead myself praying for the hearts of men and women to turn to God, to surrender their pride, their positioning, their self-centered outlooks. Only when we humble ourselves before God, and accept His way (which includings not supporting evil works by making them legal) will we find the peace and freedom we long to have but seem to have lost sight of.

God's Plan Unscathed by Me

2011-11-25T08:42:00.000-08:00

How shallow my faith that I fear men and what men might say.

"Our help is in the name of the LORD, who made heaven and earth." Psalm 124:8 (KJV)

I struggle with pride. I fail to keep a guard over my tongue. And I fear too much the opinions of men instead of the opinion of God. Truth is, I am at times very willful and self-centered.

Not unlike our dog, Jasmine. She believes she can rule our household and tell us what to do.

When company comes, she cannot be trusted. She believes all people are here to worship and adore her. Should we disagree and take hold her collar to lead her away, she pulls back attempting to remove herself from our grasp. Willfulness raises its ugly head. Now, if she would just learn to greet people nicely then go lie down in her place, she'd not be put out of the house or locked in her crate. She'd not lose the blessing of her freedom and our presence. Her behavior, however, does not keep us from enjoying friends and family.

When I look at my list of faults, I must add to it the audacity to think that my sin will keep God from His plan. He will continue to do His work without me, just as we continue to enjoy our company without Jasmine.

Yes, sin can hinder my relationship with Him. Yes, the consequences of my sin can result in a lack of blessing or an exclusion from the joy of being a part of God's work, but my sin is not greater than God.

Of course, I don't believe it is. Yet, at times I act like my sin has the power to stop God. I forget God's mercy and grace and let pride dictate my course of actions, ultimately leading me into a pit of self-pity and self-blame, believing that I have brought upon the world, or at least my part of the world, a great calamity. In essence, acting upon the presumption that God cannot work without me and my...ah..."perfect ways."

When sin takes hold I can no longer claim the blessings that come from obedience and the joy of seeing God's work first hand.

Only when I humble myself and realize that the Holy Spirit is the one to change lives, not me, can I be at peace with the work He has called me to do. I'm not perfect, but I have been redeemed, and the peace that comes from that redemption must rule in me, not my self-importance.

Serving God is a privilege. Partaking of His victories is an honor, not a right. Forgive me, Lord for presuming upon Your favor.

What must I do now? Humble myself and bow before my God. Moment by moment, I must seek to obey Him not for what I might get out of it, not to be esteemed by men, but because I love Him who is my master.

Love Never Fails

2011-11-24T08:36:00.000-08:00

"Charity never faileth:..." I Corinthians 13:8a

"Never" is an absolute. Not even at any time does true love (that is, God's love) ever fail. Think about it. Read John 3:16.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

God loved us. That love will not fail. He did what He said He would do and gave us the gift of eternal life, if we are willing to receive it.

Man's love isn't perfect. However, through Christ's sacrifice, we have access to that perfect love of God expressed in His gift of eternal life.

"A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another." John 13:34

"If ye love me, keep my commandments." John 14:15

God showed us His never failing love through Jesus Christ. Jesus told us to love one another as He loved them. Wow. Tall orders. Are you willing to die for your brother or sister in the Lord? Paul was.

"I speak not this to condemn you: for I have said before, that ye are in our hearts to die and live with you." II Corinthians 7:3

We all make excuses to avoid pain or sacrificial service. "Oh, you mustn't suffer for Christ, you have a family to raise." "Oh, you must get your rest or you'll be too sick to go to work tomorrow. You know that paycheck you earn puts food on the table." "Let their own family take care of them. You have to take care of yourself."

All of these excuses do have some truth to them. We have a responsibility to our family. They are a priority. Sometimes you must put them ahead of the ministry. I see my children as my disciples. I must teach them and lead them by example. Oh. If I am to lead them by example, then I need to demonstrate a never failing love, a love for others, a willingness to sacrifice my own comfort for the spiritual, emotional and physical well-being of others.

I have a confession to make. In my flesh, I allow criticism--or words spoken in opposition to the ministry or hateful words--to make ground beef out of my heart. I'd like to say that my sorrow comes from my compassion for the other person who fails to understand and see God's truth or apply His commandments. Not initially. I am quite guilty of running for cover to lick my wounds. After a time, when the wounds heal, God often helps me see the condemning soul in a different light--to even take pity on such a person.

If love never fails, it won't be hindered by the lashing out of angry people or the 'well-meaning' soul who thinks you are crazy for serving God. Love will look at those people with compassion, with tenderness, with meekness (knowing how easy it is to be judgmental), and it will continue to faithfully to serve the Lord by following His example.

"And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved." Matthew 10:22

Love Endures All Things

2011-11-22T09:26:00.000-08:00

"...endureth all things." I Corinthians 13:7

In my horseback riding days endurance in a horse was an asset. When I would go "horse shopping" I tended to avoid Quarter Horses because their ability to endure long days was less than that of an Arabian or an Appaloosa. The only asset to a Quarter Horse was their level-headedness.

Because I was purchasing with inexperienced riders in mind, I needed to somehow have the combination of physical endurance with patience and forbearance. Arabians tended to be exciteable and overly sensitive. An Appaloosa would tend to become obstinate and refuse to move when it wearied of a job or tired on the trail.

As a result of these flaws (along with cost), I usually ended up purchasing horses that were a combination of breeds.

The best horses would endure the pain a bad rider would bring to their backs, banging of their mouths by a poor rider, and long hours in the ring or on the trail doing the same thing over and over again. Only a handful of horses had the ability to do this. Such horses were treasured.

While horses are incapable of love, the good ones do provide for us an example of how to bear trials and burdens without complaint. When I watched what these poor animals would put up with through the ignorance of their riders, I found myself admiring God's creation and realizing that I should be the same and more. I, created in God's image, have the ability to love.

Love endures all things for the sake of those it is responsible for and to. Love endures a great fight of afflictions either from its object of affection or from those who oppose it. Love endures pain, suffering, shame for the sake of those it loves--even as Christ endured the cross and the stigma of hate by the world for our sakes.

In Hebrews 12:3 we are encouraged to endure even as Christ did.

"For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds."

When we remember what He did for us, we find the strength to endure the little assaults on our weak love.

When the best beginner's horse endured the unintended punishment from its rider, it would do so quietly. It would not kick or buck or rear or retaliate in anyway. Instead, it would plod along until clearly told to do otherwise. As a child of God who is told to love others, I should emulate this creature and carry on without retaliation. Hmm. I know for myself, I need to work on this. How about you?

Love Hopes All Things

2011-11-18T09:19:00.000-08:00

"...hopeth all things,..." I Corinthians 13:7

To hope for something is to expect it to happen. Hope confides its heart to the one that will bring about its desire, waiting with great expectation for the outcome it wants.

Hope can't see what it wants. If it could, it would not be hope.

For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for?

But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it. (Romans 8:24-25)

We trained Jasmine, our dog, to "wait" for us when we leave the house. Before we walk through the front door we tell her to "sit and wait." Wait isn't the same as stay. "Stay" means don't move. "Wait" means you remain here until we get back, but you are free to chew on a bone or play with a toy. And "wait" means "we will be back shortly; you can count on it."

Jasmine sits, sometimes whines, wags her tail, and waits, fully expecting us to return. She might go to her crate and sleep. She might chew on a bone. She might even play with a toy, but she anticipates we will once again come through that front door. In other words, Jasmine hopes for our return--she's confident that we will. That is what hope means.

Love hopes all things. In confidence, it moves forward in life. Maybe something bad happens, but love will trust that good will come of it. Maybe someone makes a mistake, but love will hope that person will learn to not do it again. Maybe someone is walking along the edge of temptation, but love will trust that person will not fall off the edge into sin.

Have you ever had anyone try to discourage you from meeting a goal? I have. Such a person is not loving me at that moment. While love takes pleasure in truth, which may not be positive, it will hope for the best.

Love expects good to happen, and love looks for the good in people, expecting to see it. In fact, it is confident that it will see the results it desires. And it is willing to bear the consequences when someone let's it down.

Love waits for the good. It waits for God's work to be done in someone's life. It waits in anticipation that what it longs for will happen.

Love has perfect persevering faith. Love confides itself into the hands of God--fully surrenders and has complete faith in God's goodness, righteousness, love, and justice--to the end for the good of another or for the glory and honor of God, and to have a good testimony before God and man.

There is an element of patience in hope. We already know that love is to be patient, but now we know that patience must also be executed through the trust for a good outcome.

In the context of I Corinthians 13, the hope love has is a desire for the best for others. Godly love is always directed toward others. It is never me-ward. The strength behind love is in its trust and faith in God. That faith in God holds love firm against prevailing winds of doubt and hurt and disappointment. It will never be torn up by the tornadoes of others sins or the hurricanes of persecution. The tsunamis of hate and the volcanic tirades of another will not dispel love's perseverance, love's hope, love's willingness to bear all things.

In its patient perseverance, we see love's hope.

Love Seeks Not Her Own

2011-11-17T09:13:00.000-08:00

Charity..."seeketh not her own..." I Corinthians 13:5

Our dog, Jasmine, just turned a year old. Before her, we had a sweet old monster of a dog named Bizmark. The two animals do not resemble each other in the least. Where Jasmine is all about fun and thrills, Bizmark was about loyally guarding and lending an empathetic ear--well, that is how we choose to remember him.

We tend to give dogs high regard for their faithfulness, their loyalty, and their friendship. In truth, they are all about themselves. Yes, I love dogs and, I confess, much prefer their company to some people's company (dogs are less judgmental), but the reality is, they're all about themselves.

Jasmine loves grand adventures. If we happen to be going in and out of the front door too much she can hardly contain herself. She'll whine and howl and pace. As the number of passings through the door increases, her whine intensifies. She even breaks the "no dog on the couches" rules just to see us out the front window. One could easily mistake her antics as missing us and worrying about where we are. Boy, is that wrong.

First chance Jasmine gets, she bolts out the front door, smiling face, tail straight out and runs like a crazed lunatic from house to house, through flowerbeds, greeting each neighbors dog, and dodging cars, kids, and anyone who threatens to stop her.

No, all that whining in the house was about her wanting to get out and have some fun. Had nothing to do with worrying about us.

So we go after her whistling and calling and what does she do? She plays the Gingerbread Boy Game, "Catch me if you can." She runs straight at us and between our legs and the expression on her face is one of pure ecstasy. Oh she's having fun. Then like lightning, she's down the street at the next neighbor's house and stops. She looks over her shoulder and laughs...well, that's what it seems like. As soon as we get close enough to possibly grab her collar she streaks by us with her tail straight out, a taunting flag of victory.

Eventually she does tire (after we've spent many precious minutes and embarrassing nose dives), and she allows us to capture her.

No. I'm quite certain that Jasmine does not love us...at least not when a good chase could be had.

However, I must confess with shame on my face that I too can fake a great concern for someone with a motivation to obtain what I want. Come on now, you've done it too. We all have plural motives. Sometimes we help someone just for the prestige. Sometimes we help someone just to get attention. Sometimes we help someone so that he will owe us one later.

But true love will not go through life seeking to satisfy her own desires. We have an example of true love in Christ.

God didn't need to create us with a will. He didn't need us at all. But He did for His glory and His good pleasure--and then we let Him down. The sin in our life is repulsive to Him. Have you ever lied? Read Proverbs 6:16-19.

"These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:

A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,

An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,

A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren."

I'm thinking pretty much everyone has told a lie at some time in his life, so yes, everyone has done abominable things.

Did you know that liars are destined for the lake of fire? Read Revelations 21:8.

"But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death."

Now picture God agonizing over the thought that you are going to be in that lake of fire. Because He loves you, He doesn't want that for you. He's going to do all He can to rescue you. So He comes down to earth as Jesus Christ, endures all sorts of hardships, and ultimately submits Himself as the perfect sacrifice on the cross, dying for your sins.

He didn't have to do it. No one could make Him, but He chose to because He takes no pleasure in the death of the wicked (yup, that's you and me). Ezekiel 33:11

"...I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked; but that the wicked turn from his way and live:..."

Can you beat that for love? God didn't seek His own. He could have destroyed us and created a new being to worship Him (He has the angels, after all). We don't deserve to live, but He gave up Heaven, suffered and died just for us.

Think you can follow His example of love?

Love...Doth not Behave Itself Unseemly

2011-11-15T09:08:00.000-08:00

The many travels of my life have introduced me to different cultures. I should be a well-rounded person, right? However, more than ten years in the U.S. and I still find I struggle with particulars.

Perhaps the most difficult adaptation has more to do with the unique subculture in which I have been immersed. Specifically, adapting to the notions founded on what I consider a Southern approach to the role of women (whether anyone else considers it Southern, I don't know...but being me, I had to find a label, and this label seemed to suit).

Let me back up and explain the way of life I knew in my youth. The small farming community in Alberta in which I grew up women worked along side men. You could find the farmer's wife behind the wheel of a combine as readily as you could find her cooking a meal in the kitchen. As a result, I understood the Biblical term 'helpmeet' to mean a woman does what she can to help her husband--even if it means pulling a calf in -40 F weather at 3:00 AM. You did what you needed to do, because the success of the farm was a matter of survival. A farmer's wife had to be skilled not only at cooking and cleaning, but at farming as well.

With this example, I pictured the modern day Proverbs 31 woman being behind the wheel of a tractor, crawling beneath a combine to tighten a screw, hauling grain to the grain elevator, or haggling with a neighbor over the price of eggs. In other words, just as much a farmer as her husband.

"...considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planted a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength and strengtheneth her arms." Proverbs 31:16-17

Imagine the shock I experienced when I discovered there really were women who occupied their time pampering themselves, and men who were horrified at the notion of a father teaching his daughter to weld. My innards bellowed against such conventions.

Yet, God placed me amongst such people and told me to love them. This meant not behaving in a manner that would bring offense. So I am learning to hold my tongue when I see something that doesn't jive with how I was raised (though I confess it is very difficult to tame that beast). I still struggle to call a friend "Miss so and so" when that person is married. However, I realize that to do so is a sign of respect amongst the people I fellowship with. To love those people, I need to lay aside my thoughts on matters that are really nothing more than customs.

I fail frequently, but I am working on silencing the roar of rebellion that rises in my chest at some of the quirks of a different culture. I simply remind myself that I love these people, and I can show it by behaving in a manner that is not offensive to them. I hope they can love me enough to forgive me when I do not meet their expectations.

Charity Envieth Not

2011-11-11T09:28:00.000-08:00

For a period in my life I envied people who lived in those beautiful homes on grand estates. Before I fell asleep at night I would dream of one day building my own mansion. Every detail down to the paint color, molding, and curtain design became an obsession.

I'd badger my husband to buy a bigger home. Surely we could afford it.

After awhile the lust for luxury turned sour, and I found myself despising those who had those mega homes. I began to put them in the less spiritual bracket and exalt myself as being a better person because I had a humble home. What utter nonsense. Oy. I'm ashamed to admit it.

But that's what envy does. It comes from lust for what we don't have or can't do, and then evolves into scorn. Definitely not a characteristic pleasing to God.

I don't remember when I changed my way of thinking. I only know that God continue to work in my heart. He showed me how He saw these people, and through His Word He revealed how much He loves everyone. Then, with loving hands, He pulled back the layer of pride that scaled my soul exposing the ugliness of my own sinful heart. But He didn't leave me there, exposed to the world. With gentleness only the Holy Spirit possesses, He revealed what He wanted to replace that envy and pride--humility and trust in Him, which brings Him pleasure.

"A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones." Proverbs 14:30

If I am to love as God loves, I must not envy anyone. That means I need to recognize that God will supply all my needs including talents, skills, and emotional fortitude. When I trust that He provides perfectly for me I have no reason to envy.

Sometimes things slip by. I find myself looking at some talent someone else has, or some possession they own with a longing in my heart. At such a time, I must remember Whom I really love. If I love the talent or object to the point of envying the other who possesses it I am not loving God, the One who saved me from my sin. And I'm not loving the person I envy.

When I burn with zeal to be like someone or have what that person has, I am not loving that person. I'm thinking only of myself.

We often say, "I envy you" as a way to rejoice over someone's good fortune. I think I'll keep a check on myself that I am indeed not envying you.

Lord, help me to love You above all else, and help me to love my neighbor as You have loved me.

Charity Is Kind

2011-11-10T09:24:00.000-08:00

'Charity suffereth long, and is kind,..." I Corinthians 13:4

I know people who walk into a sick person's house and take charge. I'm afraid if they did that to me they'd end up taking me to the hospital. My pride would not stand for someone taking charge of my home. I'd stew an acid brew and break out in fever blisters worrying about what they were doing and what they were thinking about me and my home. Yeah, I know. Pretty sad, isn't it?

I know people who have come to help me and have asked what they could do. That sets me at ease immediately. Their manner demonstrates a desire to truly help me, not to just perform an act of kindness or do what they think would be helpful.

Years ago, when I was first married, my mother gave me wise advice. When someone visits and offers to help, give them something to do. Often people ask to help because they need to keep busy to feel comfortable. My mother taught me that giving them something to do with their hands can be an act of kindness. The point being that I focus on what makes the visitors comfortable, not what makes me comfortable. Sometimes that is very difficult to do.

My eldest daughter struggles with friendships. She's at that age when emotions run high and oversensitivity rules. Funny how that is also the age when kids become exceedingly cruel. I remember those days and the nasty things kids would said and do to others. I'll never forget how one girl in our school was treated. Ridicule is a kind word compared to how they treated her.

The best advice I could give my daughter is much the same as my mother gave me. When you feel yourself hurting, reach out and help someone else.

Let me take a moment and tell you right now that the world's (including some Christians) concept of love is all wrong. Love isn't about emotions and pleasant feelings. Affection isn't a synonym for love. Love, as you've probably heard before, is an action.

At the ripe old age of nineteen, I went on a missions trip to England. Before our team left we had a two week training course in New York. Boy, did I feel out of my element. Take a young prairie girl to a place where farms are smushed together such that this gal thought they were still in the city, and trees blocked your vision. How were you supposed to see your enemy approach?

Not only that, but I had been suffering with an illness I hadn't even begun to understand. It left me feeling dumb and weak, and kept me swelled up like a blowfish. My insecurities were riding high.

The last night together one of my team members took me on a walk just to tell me that I wasn't the sort of person she would have as a friend, but because we were on the same team she'd try to be civil to me. Oy, talk about a blow. I look back now and laugh, but I wasn't laughing so hard then. I'm thinkin' she wasn't lovin' me and that she didn't even know what love was.

Charity is kind. If that team member had understood that she would have gone out of her way to help me overcome my insecurities instead of making them a reason to not consider me a person worthy of her friendship.

When one loves another he is useful to that other person and will act in a manner that demonstrates a genuine desire to help the other. If he doesn't know how to help, he will ask and observe, and more than anything, he will pray for wisdom and the Holy Spirit's guidance. Then he will behave in a manner that benefits the other person.

I know I have a great affection for my children. I'd put myself in harm's way just to keep my children safe. But I must also choose to daily love them through behaving in a manner that benefits them. Sometimes that means listening or caring for their physical needs, and sometimes it means being open and honest with them, and even correcting or disciplining them in order to help them change bad behavior. Helping them change so that they don't become an adult with bad behavior is a benefit with them. It is loving them, and it is being kind.

Unfortunately often a person does not see correction as being loving, no matter how gentle you are, but if you truly love you will do whatever it takes to benefit that person, including helping him see what he needs to change in his life.

I've never been very good at accepting that kind of love. My knee-jerk reaction is that the person hates me. So I unintentionally test them, cruelly so at times, by getting angry. I've learned that people who do love me endure my little temper-tantrums and stick by me while I work my way to accepting the correction they gave me. Those that truly love me help me pick myself up off the ground, wipe myself off, and move forward.

Those people who stick with me through my wretched state of denial set an example for me that I want to follow in my life. I want to show true love to others. I want to be useful in a way that benefits those I claim to love and those God loves (which is everyone).

Charity or Charitable Works

2011-11-08T08:44:00.000-08:00

Over ten years ago, a young couple lived with us for a few weeks. The man spoke Spanish and knew little English, and his wife interpreted for him.

One night after supper, we discussed I Corinthians 13. This man stated how well the word 'charity' expressed the meaning of love. For this young couple, with a sick baby and two young children, 'charity' had become the only thing on which they could rely. He didn't have regular work, and they could not afford a home of their own.

That was a growing and stretching time for myself and my family. Lessons learned then I can now carry into my writing. His words sunk deep into my heart to be used as catalysts for future events and lessons.

I could compose beautiful stories with great technical ability, but if I do not have a desire to do good to my readers, then I'm just planting useless words and making noises in the readers imaginations.

If I write great nonfiction which reveals my superior intellect (not) and great faith and do not have goodwill toward my readers, then I am nothing and my words are meaningless.

And if I give away all my work to charitable organizations so that others can benefit financially by it, or if I am martyred for my great faith and profound words, as occurred in history, and do not seek to do good to others, I gain no profit from it.

Charity does not come from things that bring us accolades. Charity is about character, about how we treat other people, about dying to ourselves.

That young couple understood what receiving help from others was like. They could see the difference between when someone was just doing charitable works (i.e. going through the motions of good works in order to get a 'badge' of recognition) and when someone expressed true charity describe in I Corinthians 13:4-8.

"Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away."

Lord, help me to learn to love as You do.

Final Final Food for Thought for Dawn Over Narragansett Bay

2011-11-04T08:46:00.000-07:00

If you haven't read Dawn Over Narragansett Bay, click here.

I wrote this story because of a burden I have for young girls or women who seek to find the favor of men without considering the consequences. In this day, modesty has almost become nonexistent and purity something few understand. Yet, if a girl sought to maintain these things in her life, she'd keep herself from a lot of trouble.

Many young women today have not been taught how to keep themselves pure and modest. Television and the movies certainly do not teach this, and very few novels written in the last ten years could possibly show how to have the mindset of modesty, even some so-called Christian fiction has not maintained that mindset.

But more than the need for modesty and purity, is a need for redemption, and that is what Dawn Over Narragansett Bay is really about. Israel of the Old Testament presents to us an image of what happens when we do not follow God, when we shun His perfect love. Through Israel's story, we see a God who desires this nation to love Him out of their own free will, not because He coerced them. In Ezekiel, we read how He agonized over them:

"Say unto them, As I live, saith the Lord GOD, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked; but that the wicked turn from his way and live: turn ye, turn ye from your evil ways; for why will ye die, O house of Israel?"
Ezekiel 33:11

This verse became foundational to this novel. If only we could see how much God loves us, and how much we grieve Him when we do not obey Him.

When Davis grieved over Josephine's decision to go with the Baron Pepys, he knew he could not force her to stay and have her happy. She needed to learn and understand God's love first.

Josephine needed to come to desire redemption. She needed to see her human condition and realize that she needed salvation.

The Hebrew children were slaves in Egypt. Egypt is often used as a picture of the world in Scripture.

Josephine turned from her family, desiring to have more than what she felt they could offer her, and sought to find what she thought she wanted from the Baron Pepys. At the baron's manor, Josephine experienced Egypt.

The Hebrew children called out to God, and God redeemed them.

Josephine sought God, and He redeemed her.

How did God redeem Josephine?

How was Davis a picture of Christ to Josephine?

How can we be a representative of Christ to the world?

Dawn Over Narragansett Bay Chapter 47

2011-11-03T10:02:00.000-07:00

If you haven't read the previous chapters of Dawn Over Narragansett Bay, Click here.

June, 1653 Newport, Rhode Island

Widow Josephine Coptin fears for her son's future. With the birth of her brother's child, her son will no longer inherit the family business leaving them little more than pauper's dependent upon the generosity of family. With her brother's poor business skills that generosity might dwindle to the gift of homelessness and starvation.

Can Josephine get past the memories of her husband and marry a good man who will provide for her and her son?

____________________________________

Chapter Forty-Six

Jacques Montars would board a ship to London in the morrow to face trial as a foreigner and would likely be hanged as a pirate.

Davis frowned. What evil this man doled out . . . how could it exist?

A week had passed since the trial, and the sting of the whip still slowed his movements, though he was able to do some work. He looked at the sky and whispered, "I do not regret taking Josephine’s whippings," but could it all have been for naught? Just that morning her fever broke, and yet he had not been able to see her. “Lord, call her now. Open her eyes and her ears that she might see Your love for her and seek Your forgiveness and salvation.” If she did, Davis would never again let anyone come between them.

A whirlwind stirred wisps of snow about his feet as he approached the Griffith's stoop.

The past week, he had fixed his attention upon the building of a new house on the land assigned to him south of Newport. A new home for Josephine and Little William and Mrs. Griffith . . . and perhaps someday, himself as well. A home perhaps built on wishful thinking, for as yet, Josephine had not been lucid enough to accept his offer.

“Dav’s.” Little William’s excited voice greeted him from the door. The nearly three-year-old boy loped toward him, his moccasin-covered feet making a soft padding noise on the snow. “Momma’s sitting up.”

Davis grinned. “Do I get to speak with her?”

“Grandmother sent me to find you.”

“But here you are." Mistress Griffith stepped from the house, wrapping her cloak about her shoulders. "Now, William, you and I need to gather firewood.” She smiled at Davis then took the young boy’s hand. “You will be alone with her. I trust you will keep your distance.”

He nodded.

“She is still very weak.”

“I will not tire her.”

She turned and led her grandson away.

Davis took a deep breath. It rumbled over the fast beating of his heart, slowing it. With a roll of his shoulders and a quick adjustment to his jerkin, he stepped inside.

Josephine sat in a chair next to the fire.

The heat in the room brought small comfort to him as he looked upon her pale face.

She gave him a weak smile.

It did more to warm him than the fire.

“You took my punishment.” Her hair hung down her back from beneath a cap, ebony trusses more beautiful than the clearest night sky.

“I love you.” He choked on the words and moved to a chair next to her, his eyes not leaving her beauty. “I could not bear to see you suffer. I feared the stripes would kill you when already you suffered from the fever.”

“Do they still hurt?”

“Yea, they do.” He swallowed. “They still stain my shirts with blood.”

“I’m sorry.” She closed her eyes. “For years I sat on cold hard benches listening to men preach about Jesus death, how we caused Him to suffer and die. It angered me. I did not make Him die.” She wiped a tear from her cheek. “But then you leaned over me and took the whipping I deserved.” She bowed her head and clasped her hands upon her lap. “Thank you. I . . . when I was on the ship, I prayed God would bring you. I promised Him I would do whatever you asked.”

She lifted her face and her gaze met his, stirring his heart at a depth he did not know existed.

“I understand now. Jesus didn’t suffer because I made Him. He chose to suffer because He loves me, even as you loved me enough to take my stripes.”

Davis licked his lips, and his heart skipped. She finally understood. “In your heart, what do you feel? What do you desire?”

She closed her eyes and pressed her chin to her chest. “I want to be forgiven by God. I want to give my life to Him . . . ”

Across her face flashed what he could only conclude was fear. But fear of what?

“. . . even as I want to be your wife, if you will have me.” She wouldn’t look at him.

Oh, how he wanted to hold her, but he mustn’t. He would not bring shame on her or this household. “Do you wish to pray and tell Him of your faith?”

“Yea, I do.” She lowered herself to her knees then looked at him with eyes round and beckoning. “Would you pray with me?”

“I will.”

Together in that room, Davis experienced one of the sweetest moments in his life. Her prayer, genuine, furtive, decisive, started her on a new course, and he had the blessing of being there at the beginning.

When she lifted her head, she offered him a soft smile. A smile more beautiful than any she had given him before. Sweet. Pure. Humble.

He pressed his jerkin a moment then withdrew papers. “I took the liberty of preparing . . . I have here . . .” He closed his eyes to gather his thoughts. “Our wedding banns. Today, I will post them.”

She bit her lip and tears coursed down her cheeks. “I shall never forget God’s mercy for each day of our life together. I will look upon your face and see it.” She pressed her folded hands against her lips. “Could I be baptized before we wed?”

His grin reached his ears, he was certain. “I will speak with Pastor Holmes this day, and I have no doubt he will be glad to welcome you into the church.”

A boot clopped upon the wooden stoop, and the door pushed open. “I hear my sister is up.” Nathaniel beamed as he led Sarah and his son through the door. He lifted a bird in the air. “We’ll roast a turkey to celebrate.”

Davis’s stomach rumbled at the sight. ‘Twas indeed a celebration.

“I’m well in spirit as well, dear brother.” Josephine’s melodious voice swelled with emotion. She blushed.

Nathaniel raised an eyebrow, and Davis held his peace though he fairly burst at the seams to tell him Josephine’s news.

“I have surrendered my life to the Lord.” She looked at Davis. “And we plan to be wed.”

Davis stood and grinned at the flashes of emotion whipping across Nathaniel’s face.

Sarah rushed over and hugged her. “Praise be to God.”

“Praise be to God indeed.” Davis threw his head back and laughed, though not more loudly than Nathaniel.

# # #

Two weeks passed quickly and on the eve of the New Year, Davis used the toe of his foot to push open the door to their new home, his hands being filled with his bride. Josephine giggled as he stepped across the threshold, but when her eyes turned to his, he lost himself in them.

She touched his lips with her fingers. “Thank you.” The words came on a breath, sweet and brimming with promise.

“I love you with my life.” And from there stepped he into a place so deep and filling and complete that he understood more than ever before the depth of love God had for Israel, His bride.

The End

_________________________

Food for Thought

1. Ephesians 3:17-20 says:

"That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; and to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. "

Do you think Davis had this same desire for Josephine?

2. Have you ever witness the incredible change that comes over a person when he believes in the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ for his sins and surrenders himself to God? I have. It's beautiful and convincing. Paul said the following of Timothy:

"When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also." II Timothy 1:5

Paul remembers Timothy's faith--I'd venture to say it was Timothy's declaration of faith. In I Timothy 1:2, Paul calls Timothy, "my own son in the faith," which suggests that he led Timothy to the Lord. As I read the above verse, I picture Timothy's grandmother first accepting Christ as her Saviour. Then, through her new found faith, she gave testimony of Christ. Her daughter, Eunice becomes convinced. They join the church, sit under Paul's teachings, and perhaps even have Paul stay in their house. Timothy, a child, sees the changes in his grandmother and his mother, comes to Paul, and Paul has the joy and awesome responsibility of leading Timothy through the spiritual birthing process that Jesus speaks of in John 3.

3. If you have come to this point and never called on the name of the Lord for salvation, I beg you to do it now. Your eternal destination depends on it. If you choose to follow Jesus, your life will be one grand adventure after another with the sweetness of the Almighty and loving God at your side. If you want someone to walk you through this great decision, feel free to email me: lynnsquire@gmail.com.

If you have been born again, I'd love to hear when and how it happened. Please leave a comment below.

Dawn Over Narragansett Bay ch. 46

2011-11-01T08:25:00.000-07:00

If you haven't read the previous chapters of Dawn Over Narragansett Bay, Click here.

June, 1653 Newport, Rhode Island

____________________________________

Chapter Forty-Six

“Mr. Griffith, did you have prior knowledge that your partner was a pirate?” President Easton cornered Nathaniel by the Meetinghouse entrance.

Nathaniel watched the man adjust his wig. “No sir. I did not. We suspected something was amiss, but had no proof. That is why we sent Montague to Wales.” He glanced at Davis. When this was done, he’d be done with this business . . . or it will do him in. “We will do what is within our means to restore unto those that which was stolen from them.”

Easton nodded and frowned. “To your hurt, no doubt.” He laid a hand on Nathaniel’s shoulders. “Son, I know things have not gone well for you this past year.” He turned to his table and picked up a paper. “And all in our community have seen it take a toll on your health.”

“Yea, sir, it has.”

“My son has collected information on what you need to restore to whom.” Easton cleared his throat. “Most have been agreeable to wait a prescribed amount of time for payment.”

Nathaniel’s stomach churned. ‘Twould take a lifetime to repay what had been stolen.

“The court of assistants have agreed that such payment should come from what has been confiscated from Montar’s manor on Wolf Island.” He handed Nathaniel another paper. “As you can see at the bottom, the amount covers all debts.”

A cool wave swept over Nathaniel as he took the paper and stared at it. God's grace was truly sufficient. Their family did not deserve this kindness. Yet, God saw fit to extend them mercy.

Mr. Easton continued, “It is most unfortunate that many of Montar’s men escaped.”

“Yea sir. Most unfortunate.” ‘Twould have been nice to see them all hang from the gallows.

Easton turned to leave. He grasped the door latch. “I’m sorry about your sister. ‘Tis a hard blow.”

“Thank you, sir.”

# # #

“We, the Commissioners of this Colony of Providence Plantations in Narragansett Bay, in Newport, New England, being chosen by the free people of the colony aforesaid, to advise and order for the peace and palace appointed, being orderly assembled at the time and safety thereof, by your honored President; having received a declaration or charge against Josephine Coptin, wherein they declare as followeth:

“That upon examination of the said Josephine Coptin, we found her as we judged according to our engagement to be not guilty of larceny and murder, . . . and of the charge of seduction of a man, guilty.”

Sweat trickled down Josephine's back though she shivered uncontrollably. She gripped the lap of her dress.

“And according to the trust committed unto us, do here present her according to the law of this colony, to this honored Assembly of General Committee, to be whipped, receiving fifteen stripes.” The clerk cleared his throat. “As an example for all to abstain from the behavior of seduction, and taking into account the circumstances surrounding her acts of seduction, she will be whipped only before the town of Newport.”

Josephine stared at the general sergeant. He was a heavy set man with a cropped red beard and dark eyes. She'd known him some by his church attendance. While she'd not considered him a cruel man, he'd not seemed to charitable either. When might he exact this judgment on her?

The general sergeant marched toward her, a sour expression on his face, and took hold of the chain linked to the cuffs about her wrists. With no undue kindness, he led her from the building to the whipping post set in the center of the town.

The fever that had gripped her these last few nights made walking through the snow difficult, even though its depth could not even be a handbreadth. She staggered then groaned as the general sergeant lifted her hands to the hook on the post and then shackled her legs to two side posts, rendering her immoveable. He then exposed her back for the whipping.

Mortified, she pressed toward the post. Her body convulsed. She could welcome death.

“Obadiah Holmes.” ‘Twas Davis’s voice.

It pricked her heart.

“You know the pain of a whipping, having endured such yourself.” Davis must be behind her.

“Aye, I do.”

Did Pastor Holmes flinch?

“You’ve heard the testimonies, including how her act of seduction came only from her desire to protect her son.”

Oh Davis. What did he have in mind?

Pastor Holmes looked to the ground. “Nonetheless—”

“Upon the mercies of God, stop this punishment.”

She laid her forehead against the post, and her teeth chattered.

“I have not the power.” The pastor’s voice brimmed with sorrow.

Her throat burned from the fever. God would send her to hell.

“President Easton, and gentleman of the Court, if I had not refused to marry this woman, she would not have turned to seek employment from the pirate.”

She twisted to stare at him. What did he think to do?

“I beg you,” he stopped behind her and pulled off his cloak and laid it on her back. Then he took off his jerkin so that nothing was left to protect him from the cold except his linen shirt, “put on me her punishment.”

“No!” she croaked.

“You . . . would stand in her stead?” Pastor Obadiah Holmes moved between the executioner and Davis.

Her knees weakened. She would not be able to stand much longer.

“Did not Christ, for mercy’s sake, stand in our stead?” Davis ground his teeth.

The sound rippled through her aching body.

“I am not holy as our Lord, but I plead with you, if you must make an example, may it be of me for all men to consider carefully how they treat a woman . . . before they turn away a widow. Does not the Bible teach that pure religion is to help the widows in their affliction?”

“Davis, you mustn’t,” Josephine whispered hoarsely. Her body convulsed. she twisted to see him, straining her arms against the bonds that held her to the whipping post.

He turned to her, his eyes saturated with a look she’d not seen before. A look of agony mingled with love. “I could not marry you without being unequally yoked, but I could have provided for you and your mother and your son, a home . . . and I did not use what means I had to help you, because I chose deception. I am Davis ab Dafydd ap Owain Glyndwn ap Llywelyn. My father was the former lord of Maesygard.”

“The son of man . . .” she whispered. He was the one to fulfill the Welsh prophecy, the one her father spoke of.

“That is who the Welsh thought I was, but now I am only Davis Owen.” He swallowed. “And I have the means to care for you and your son.”

The wind blew a cold gust across her back sending her into a seizure, but Davis blocked it as he bent over her.

His back to the executioner, he grasped the whipping pole above her hands.

The world seemed to stop.

She could hear the deep breaths of Davis and feel them against the top of her head.

Murmurs filtered around her, but she could not make out a single word. The sound of the whip slicing through the air, followed by Davis’s groans, stung her ears.

He pressed into her.

Fourteen lashes fell upon his back as he hovered over her. Drops of his sweat landed on her head. The smell of blood scourged her senses.

One more strike and hands moved quickly to pull him away and undo her bonds.

She turned to look upon him.

His eyes filled with sorrow and love, while his breathing came hard. Men led him away. Drops of red blood marking his trail.

He suffered for me. Pain gripped her chest, and she collapsed into her brother’s arms. “He took my punishment.”

“Yea, he did.” Nathaniel lifted her into his arms.

“Why did he do it?”

“Because he loves you . . .” Nathaniel’s chest rose and fell. “Even as Christ loves you.” His voice cracked.

The words came as sharp as a knife. On the heels of its slash came a flood of tears. All these years she didn’t believe Jesus Christ could love her, but could it be possible? “I’m cold.”

“We’ll get you home.”

She laid her head against his shoulder while her mother wrapped a blanket around her, covering her exposed back. “I don’t deserve it.” For years she resisted the image of Christ dying on the cross, but now . . . with Davis having covered her and feeling his sweat and smelling his blood . . . “It should have been me.”
___________________________

Food for Thought

1. A deep chasm created by our sin separates us from God. God is holy, pure, righteous. We are deeply stained by the things we do contrary to God's law, by the thoughts we think contrary to God's thoughts and desires, by the imaginations and desires of our hearts contrary to God's perfect will for us.

The one thing that kept Davis from marrying Josephine was Josephine's rebellion against God and her lack of faith in Jesus Christ for the salvation of from her sins. Even as God could not be joined with us in our sin, so Davis could not allow himself to be joined with Josephine when she refused to repent and trust Jesus Christ for salvation.

Davis agonized over Josephine's rebellion against God and her choices that led her into deeper trouble. Yet, he chose to love her.

God agonizes over our rebellion. Yet, He too loves us more than we could ever know or understand.

"Say unto them, As I live, saith the Lord GOD, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked; but that the wicked turn from his way and live: turn ye, turn ye from your evil ways; for why will ye die, O house of Israel?" Ezekiel 33:11

God had a plan. He sent His Son to take our punishment.

"For Christ also hath once suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh, but quickened by the Spirit:" I Peter 3:18

Did Davis show Josephine Christ's love in his actions?

2. Without blood, we would not live. Loss of blood leads to death. The wages of sin is death. Hebrews 9:22 says:

"And almost all things are by the law purged with blood; and without shedding of blood is no remission."

Remission means pardon or forgiveness. Jesus offered himself as a sacrifice to put away our sin. His pure blood, untainted by sin, is now on the altar in Heaven before God, continuing to cover our sins, continuing to cover the debt we owe because of the sins we commit.

Hebrews 9:26b-28 says:

"...but now once in the end of the world hath he appeared to put away sin by the sacrifice of himself.

And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment:

So Christ was once offered to bear the sins of many; and unto them that look for him shall he appear the second time without sin unto salvation."

Has Josephine looked to Christ to cover her sins?

3. Josephine spent her life looking at the trouble brought upon her through religious men. She concluded God hated her. Now one man stepped up and took a punishment she knew she deserved. For the first time, she begins to see that perhaps God did not hate her after all.

Are you convinced of the chasm that separates you from God? Do you understand the magnitude of the consequences of your sin?

Religion is man reaching to God. Many religious people act holy, do righteous works (like feeding the hungry or giving to cancer research, or other good deeds), and seek to make themselves worthy of a relationship with God or some figure they put in God's place (Allah, Buddha, Mary, etc.).

Through Jesus Christ, God reached out to man. Jesus Christ, God's only begotten Son, offered His life for us. Just like Davis took the punishment for Josephine, so Christ took the punishment for us. Through His death, burial, and resurrection He gives us eternal life. What does Christ ask for us to do in return?

In Matthew 19, a rich man came and asked Jesus what good thing he should do to obtain eternal life. Jesus replied in verse 21:

"Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me."

This rich man loved his wealth. He esteemed it higher than God. We know this because he walked away from Jesus with great sorrow. He wasn't prepared to give up or turn from his wealthy lifestyle. The Bible tell us that we are not to have any other gods before God. Wealth, for this man, was a god.

How does one come to Jesus? Romans 10:9-13 says:

"That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.

For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.

For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed.

For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him.

For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved."

How does one follow Jesus? Matthew 19:29 says:

"And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life."

Matthew 10:38-39 says:

"And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.

He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it."

Fiction Friday, Dawn Over Narragansett Bay, ch 45

2011-10-28T08:20:00.000-07:00

Today is Fiction Friday, and if you want to read more stories, click on over to Dancing in the Rain.

If you haven't read the previous chapters of Dawn Over Narragansett Bay, Click here.

June, 1653 Newport, Rhode Island

____________________________________

Chapter Forty-Five

Davis grasped her elbow. “Come. We’re going back to the prison.” He spoke the words through clenched teeth.

Josephine's chains clattered against the steps of the meetinghouse, but when they hit the skiff of snow on the street, their sound softened.

“Lord, help me,” Davis cast his whispered prayer to Heaven then pulled his gaze to the woman he loved. Help me understand why she admitted to seduction . . . but first he needed to grapple with the fact she may very well have wanted to . . . with Pepys. His fist balled, and his grasp tightened around her arm. “Lord help me understand why she would do this. Help me love as You do.”

She sobbed.

His muscles knotted so tight his body shook. “Help me not to be consumed in my anger.”

She trembled and crumpled in a fit of coughs.

He pulled her to her feet, his heart ripping at the sound of her ragged breaths.

Glares from the crowd crept across his chest as he guided her from the meetinghouse to the jail. God, have mercy on her.

# # #

Upon opening the cell, Davis shoved Josephine down on the tick in the corner. “How could you?”

Every part of her body pricked with tension.

His fist slammed against the iron bar.

Her very heart, a loaded and cocked musket. But she deserved his anger. She even understood it.

“Why would you stoop to seducing that . . . that worm?”

She rose to her feet. The trigger of her heart pressed by the strain of her sin.

He stared at her. His mouth formed a hard line while gray colored his cheeks. “Are you that desperate to satisfy your lusts that you would . . .”

Josephine wailed and flung her arms at him. “I did not lust after Pepys.” She despised him. “I knew not how to save my son.”

“What does Little William have to do with this?” Davis pinned her arms at her side.

“Pepys is a beast.” Tears dropped from her eyes and splashed onto the floor. “I was afraid he would steal William, or worse, if he knew I had tried to escape and had turned against him.” She bent forward.

He released her, and she wrapped her arms about her waist. “I thought if I let him have what he wanted from me, if I made him think I was in love with him, he would not hurt my son.” Her body vibrated as she relived the horror in her mind. “I knew no other way.”

“You could have prayed. You could have trusted God.”

“God? What good has God done for me?” Her heart pounded fierce heat through her. She turned from Davis. “If I am to survive this life, I must take things into my own hands.” She shoved her hands out to him. Dirt embedded in her palms caused her to stare at them. “How could I trust God when I feared for my life and that of my son?”

“That is exactly what God wants you to do. Trust Him. Trust Him to give you the answer to every decision of your life . . . to turn away from chasing after your own imaginations, your own lusts.”

“I did not lust after . . . not after . . .” She looked at Davis, the tenderness about his eyes and the softness of his lips. “I know that I am wicked.”

“God has no pleasure in the death of the wicked.” He reached for her but pulled back his hand. “Please trust Him with your life.”

She shook her head and turned. “I am tired.” Indeed, fatigue gripped her and weakened her joints.

A covering was placed over her back, and Davis swallow. Then his footsteps moved away, the cage clanged and the door to the prison room slammed shut. She pulled the blanket around herself and wept.

# # #

Davis drew a deep breath as he watched the assistants take their seats. God help us. He would not be able to keep Josephine from receiving a whipping, but Lord willing, he could keep her from hanging on the gallows.

“Mr. Owen, do you have a defense?”

Davis stepped forward. “Yea, sir.”

“Proceed.”

“As one of the first persons on the scene where Mr. St. Michels died, I saw that the grass around the storehouse and leading to the cliff was trampled in a fashion requiring more than one person.” He studied the raised eyebrows of the assistants. Some of them were there that night and noted the same. “I would also put to the members of the court that Mrs. Coptin was known to have had a broken ankle at the time and could not have walked nor run the distance from the wharf to the storehouses on her own.”

“But she had walked on that ankle the night her son was missing.”

“Yea sir.”

“And it would be quite possible for her to use a stick to aide her.”

“Yea sir. However, this was not noted in the testimony of the witness.” Davis picked up the ruby. “I might also draw attention to the fact that the ruby in question is not the ruby recorded in the storehouse ledgers. That ruby, kept in a metal strong box, could not be the one presented here as evidence.”

The assistants leaned forward.

“President Easton, I call on you to look closely at the quality of this ruby.” He placed the ruby in the president’s hand. “Please note the number of imperfections.”

The president’s face paled.

“In your opinion, sir, would you consider this the ruby you purchased? A ruby worth five hundred pounds?”

Easton swallowed and shook his head.

Davis drew a journal from his pocket. “I would like to bring to the court’s attention entries made in the journal of Sir Montague of Newport, Wales.”

Easton cleared his throat. “Proceed.”

“If the court is willing, I will summarize the accounts in order to hasten these proceedings.”

Mr. Easton nodded and gestured for him to proceed.

“I am acquainted with a painting of the Baron Pepys in the Beaumaris Castle in Wales, the likeness of which the present Baron Pepys is not.”

The meetinghouse fell silent.

“Suspecting that the Baron Pepys in this court was not the man engaged as a partner by the Griffith Shipping Company, Mr. Nathaniel Griffith agreed to send Sir Montague back to Newport to investigate Baron Pepys’s identity, as well as other suspicions.”

“Mr. Owen, I fail to see what this has to do with the present case. The charges are against Mrs. Coptin, not the baron.”

“If you will oblige me, I will make that clear in a moment.”

“Continue.”

“Sir Montague discovered on board a number of the items stolen the night of Mr. St. Michels’s murder. He later witnessed one of the sailors selling these items in Newport, Wales, including a ruby valuing five hundred pounds.”

A murmur arose from the courtroom.

“During the ship’s stay in Newport, the man present here, who claims to be Baron Pepys, did not leave the ship, despite the fact that the real Baron Pepys’ wife pleaded for him to visit her. Montague visited the good woman’s home and discovered that the Baron Pepys of Newport, Wales was not the Baron Pepys aboard Le Cygne.”

The assistants whispered among themselves before Davis continued. “According to Montague’s last entry in his journal, the man that is present in this court is not the Baron Pepys but the French buccaneer, Jacques Montars.”

“He lies!” Pepys shouted.

“It is written in this journal, along with a sworn affidavit from the real Baron Pepys’s wife that the real baron can be identified by a moon-shaped mole on his left elbow.”

“General sergeant, please bring Baron Pepys forward.”

The baron paled. “This has nothing to do with the present case.”

“I disagree,” said Mr. Easton. “If you lied about your identity, and there is record of the sale of the stolen items, then you have committed perjury and there is cause to believe this young woman is innocent of larceny and murder.”

Davis glanced at Josephine. Her eyes roll back then she slumped in her seat.

He rushed to her side. “Gentleman of the court, the good lady has fainted. May we adjourn?”

“We will adjourn for one hour.”

“Josephine,” Davis whispered in her ear. He laid his hand on her forehead. It burned hotter than before.

“I’ve a blanket.” Mrs. Griffith wrapped it around her daughter. “You did well, son.”

His throat tightened, and he gave her a quick nod. He would be unable to stop a whipping, however, and in her present condition . . .

Mrs. Griffith placed her hand on his forearm. “Trust God. He will show you a way.” She rubbed her daughter’s hands. “Perhaps the court will have mercy.”

“I fear not.” His heart thundered in his ears. What must I do, Lord? What can I do?

________________________________

Food For Thought

1. Though God is merciful, we can still suffer the consequences of our sins. King David committed adultery and then had the husband of Bathsheba (the woman with whom he committed adultery) killed. In II Samuel 12, David is confronted by the prophet Nathan. Verses 10-11 say:

"Now therefore the sword shall never depart from thine house; because thou hast despised me, and hast taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be thy wife.

Thus saith the LORD, Be hold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house, and I will take thy wives before thin eyes, and give them unto thy neighbour, anad he shall lie with thy wives in the sight of this sun."

David confesses, and Nathan answers in verses 13b-14:

"The LORD also hath put away thy sin; thou shalt not die. Howbeit, because by this deed thou hast given great occasion to the enemies of the LORD to blaspheme, the child also that is born unto thee shall surely die."

And we know that the child did die. We know that Absalom, David's own son, turned against him, and all that God said would happen, happened.

God's mercy is shown to David in that God put away David's sin, and David would not die.

Often people do not value forgiveness, though the value their sins going unpunished. They do not value forgiveness because they are not truly repentant. Only when a person is truly sorry for his sin and sets his mind to repent, can forgiveness provide the joy and relief that overcomes the hurt of the consequences resulting from the sin. A person who is not truly sorry often becomes bitter when he suffers the consequences. He doesn't see that the trouble he experiences are a direct result of his own actions.

Do you think that Josephine wants forgiveness?

2. In this day, people do not consider flirtation a sin. However, flirting can have consequences. Can you think of times when the consequences are dire?

3. Josephine's actions through this story did not only affect herself, they affected her family including her son. Considering your own life or your daughters' lives, can you see consequences for feeling an affection for (or falling in love with) a man who does not hold to the same values as your family? What sort of hardships can it cause for those around you?

Dawn Over Narragansett Bay, Ch. 44

2011-10-27T10:18:00.000-07:00

If you haven't read the previous chapters of Dawn Over Narragansett Bay, Click here.

June, 1653 Newport, Rhode Island

____________________________________

Chapter Forty-Four

The wind buffeted Davis as though in battle against him.

He leaned into it and continued down the path along the bluff overlooking the bay.

The inquiry into Josephine’s adulterous acts and larceny had elevated Baron Pepys in the eyes of some. There was no surprise in that, for Joseph Easton had clearly seen him resist her flirtations and immodest gown. Because of this, even the accusation he made of her as thief and murderer were considered true. Davis dropped to his knees on his favorite rock then stretched out prostrate before God.

He had searched every inch of the ship for some clue, some word from Montague that might bring evidence against Pepys, but none could be found. “Dear God, I plead for her life. Please, on this one last search let me find something that would prove Pepys the scoundrel and rogue he is.”

Tonight, when all slept, he would go alone and search once more Montague’s cabin. May God in His mercy reveal something this night.

# # #

Josephine’s shackled feet shuffled along—was this how a snail sounded to itself?

The general sergeant led her down the aisle, his grip on her arm firm and unmerciful. The meetinghouse overflowed with people from all over Aquidneck Island. She saw the Robinsons from the north and others from the east side, and of course her neighbors from Newport.

Shame rose to her cheeks, and she counted every step she took. 'Twould be easier to face God than these faces that leered at her.

“The right honorable Mr. Easton, President of the Assembly acting as Moderator for the court.”

The room took on a frosty feel as the man stood at the front of the room behind a large desk. To the side stood several other men, some familiar and some not. Their eyes betrayed the solemn look their mouths presented. Those eyes thrilled to accuse her.

The general sergeant guided her to stand before the president and the crowd. The chains to her shackles clattered on the boards beneath her and brought down with them a cloak of silence upon the room.

Easton steepled his fingers then pressed them against his lips. His piercing eyes cutting to her soul. “Sergeant Deputy, Davis Owen, accompanied by my son, Joseph Easton, arrested you, Josephine Coptin, December 4, 1653, and these gentlemen have presented their warrant to this Court of Commissioners. You are accused of seducing a married man, larceny, and murder. The Court orders that you be allowed an attorney according to law.”

The warmth of a body, like that of the sun, radiated on her back.

“I will speak for the accused.” 'Twas Davis’s voice. “She pleads not guilty on all accounts.”

But she was guilty. She had gone to Pepys with the intention of seducing him in order to protect her son.

Davis put his hand on her elbow to draw her away.

She would not add deceit to her list of sins. “’Tis not what I say.” Her lips quivered, and she licked them as though to take away the words her heart would have her speak.

“Go on, woman.”

“I did not steal. I did not murder.” She swallowed. And it shall be, when he shall be guilty in one of these things, that he shall confess that he hath sinned in that thing: 'Twas William’s voice that spoke in her heart. “To . . . seducing Baron Pepys . . . I plead guilty.”

A murmur rose up from the crowd as she stood with head bowed there before the moderator, before the Court of Commissioners, and before God.

Davis tightened his grip on her elbow. She looked at him and saw a myriad of emotions work their way across his face. The air escaped her lungs. “Forgive me,” she whispered as the pain from his look coursed through her veins.

He drew her to a seat on a bench, closed his eyes tight, as though praying, then clenched his fists. “If it pleases the court, can I, on behalf of Josephine Coptin, make her answer to such testimonies regarding the charges of larceny and murder as shall be further produced against her?”

The assistants murmured amongst themselves, and one stood to whisper to President Easton. Josephine sensed all eyes turned from her to Mr. Easton.

“We shall proceed as requested by the defense.”

The room stilled as Baron Pepys stepped forward, his gold chains capturing the light of the oil lamps set about the room. “On the night of June 29, I settled Mrs. Coptin in her cabin along with the nurse, Mary Bonnet. We did not plan to leave port until the following morning, but it was Mrs. Coptin’s desire to board ship that night.” He looked to the floor and shook his head. “My heart breaks to say this, but later that night I knocked on the door to see if the good lady needed anything before I retired to my own cabin. And Mary Bonnet replied that the woman had left the boat to recover some things she had forgotten in the Griffith storehouses.”

A whispered storm rose from the crowd.

Josephine gripped her hands, pressing them into her lap. The man lied. How could she have possibly left the boat and walked to the storehouses when her ankle was broken at the time?
Pepys wiped his brow with a kerchief before continuing. “I noticed that night that my pistol was missing. I questioned my men, but none knew of it. However, Jib mentioned he saw Mrs. Coptin leave my cabin earlier that evening with what could have been the weapon.”

Jib sat behind Pepys and nodded his head.

“I thought nothing of it until the night the woman . . .” Pepys closed his eyes and pressed his fist to his lips. “Until the night she tried to seduce me. From the corner of my eye I saw the glint of something red in the lining of her cloak.”

But she had never put a ruby in her lining, nor had she ever seen one before Pepys drew it from her.

“I knew then what she had done, having heard of the disappearance of the ruby.” He lowered his fist, turned and pointed his finger at Josephine. “This woman used my weapon to kill an innocent man in order to steal the ruby she coveted.”

A wave of exclamations moved across the meetinghouse. Feet shuffled and clothing rustled.

Jib stood. “I followed the woman after she left the boat that night. ‘Twas a dark night and difficult to see. She entered the meadow in a furtive manner. I hid behind a tree, and then heard the shot. When I peered around, the woman had disappeared. I did not see the man, but fearing for her life, I followed her back to the ship.” He rolled the brim of his hat in his hand. “Not until I heard Mr. St. Michels was murdered did I consider she was the one who killed him.” He shuddered.

“Why did you not bring this information to the general sergeant?”

“I feared for my life, left on Wolf Island with this woman. She had the slaves under her thumb, and I did not doubt she would have me silenced, if you know what I mean, should I attempt to bring to light her evil deeds.”

All eyes were upon her, judging her. She pictured the rope that would be placed about her neck and choked.

“The Court is adjourned for an hour. When we return, Mr. Owen, you can give the defense.”

Voices rose, and the noise of people moving from the building seemed distant and death seemed eminent. How could she defend herself?
_________________________

Food for Thought

1. Leviticus 5:5 says,

"And it shall be, when he shall be guilty in one of these things, that he shall confess that he hath sinned in that thing."

Some say, "Confession is good for the soul." Why do you think Josephine was willing to admit to seduction?

2. According to the records of the colony of Rhode Island, any person convicted of the act of fornication (which would include seduction) would be publicly whipped with fifteen stripes. If caught in adultery the person will be whipped in one town then a week later in the next, until that person had become an example to all in the various towns of the colony. This is more merciful than the Levitical law, which would have the adulterers put to death. Why do you think the law was so severe? Do you think it was effective in keeping other people from committing the same sin?

3. Many girls fall into the hands of a man or boy who would misuse them. As a mother, I hope to teach my own daughters to be very careful about being alone with any man, not just for their own protection, but to also avoid the appearance of evil.

In my personal opinion, many girls would be spared the horrors of date rape, or even slander by others, if they were taught to respect themselves enough to not surrender themselves to any man until their wedding night and to take precautions not to put themselves in compromising situations beforehand. Such positions would include "parking" or "making out" or unsupervised parties with both boys and girls in attendance. Do you agree with me?

Dawn Over Narragansett Bay Chapter 43

2011-10-25T09:25:00.000-07:00

If you haven't read the previous chapters of Dawn Over Narragansett Bay, Click here.

June, 1653 Newport, Rhode Island

____________________________________

Chapter Forty-Three

Davis emerged from the building, his hand pressing against the throbbing at the back of his head.

Nathaniel stopped his pacing in front of the prison. “How is she?”

Davis shook his head. “Apparently you don’t follow advice. You should be home.”

“I cannot rest knowing what will happen to her.” The pallor about Nathaniel's eyes confirmed his words.

“We’ve got to prove who Pepys is and that she was not here the night of the murder.” But how?

“Then let us get to the ship.” Nathaniel started down to the Long Wharf. “Pepys and his men are at the tavern, drunk.”

“We’ll tear the ship apart.” Davis pressed his lips together.

Nathaniel stopped and laid his hand on Davis’s shoulder. “I’m sorry about Montague.”

“With all that has happened to Josephine," Davis stared at the frozen ground beneath his feet, "I fear I haven’t had time to digest his death.”

“Do you believe Pepys’s testimony of him falling overboard?”

“Not one word.” Davis gripped the sword at his side. He'd gladly thrust his weapon into Pepys's cold heart. Montague was on of the great men, a faithful friend, and a brave officer.

“We’ll check Montague’s cabin. Perhaps we’ll find something there that will give us proof to our suspicions.”

Davis bared his teeth, but held his tongue. He nodded to Nathaniel and marched to the wharf. He'd make this fake baron pay with his life for murdering his friend and ruining the woman he loved.

Within the hour their rowboat pulled up beside the galleon. The ship creaked and complained as they climbed onto it. The sailors left on board did a poor job guarding. They lay against some rigging snoring off their rum.

“I’ll fire the lot come morning.” Nathaniel ground his teeth and stomped across the deck to the officer's quarters.

Davis followed. “I’ve already searched Pepys’s quarters. This cabin here must be Montague’s.” He pushed open a door.

A hammock swayed in rhythm with the boat’s rocking. The cabin was narrow with little room to hide anything, but the men began running their hands along the boards hoping to find some secret place.

Davis pressed his hand against a wallboard and bowed his head. “Nathaniel, when I saw her . . . standing before Pepys in that seductress's gown, I hated her. Then she turned to me, and her eyes—hollow, haunted—she didn’t want what it appeared she was doing.” He pressed his head against the wall. “What she may have endured at his hands. I wanted to kill him. I . . . wanted to . . . but your mother, she knew that Josephine must turn on her own.” He looked up at his friend. “You know what verse chants in my mind?”

Nathaniel shook his head. The corner of his eyes weighed down as though the sorrow was too much for him.

“Ezekiel 33:11. I hear God’s voice pleading with Israel, ‘turn ye, turn ye from your evil ways; for why will ye die . . .?’” He punched the wall. “Even God could not turn their hearts. How then could I possibly turn Josephine’s?”

Nathaniel’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “God would not turn their hearts. He gave them a free will. But it is the Holy Spirit that convicts.” He pressed his eyes shut. “Do not give up on her. Remember what Jesus said about the Holy Spirit? ‘He will reprove the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment.’”

“But for how long can she refuse Him before . . ." Davis's throat clogged with the mere thought of Josephines demise. "Before it is too late, and she hangs from the gallows?” If he could take her place, if God would send him to hell instead of her.

“Let’s pray for her.”

# # #

“Mistress.” Gin rasped from the dark.

Josephine scrambled across the black cell until her fingers hit the cold iron bars. “Gin?” She trembled, and her fists wrapped around the metal.

“The man outside, he be asleep.”

“Where is William?”

“I hide him. Mistress, he’s mighty sick.” Gin whimpered. “I don’t know what to do. Pete and Sable rowed as far as they could. The storm, like the devil, turned the boat. But I’s swam with Little William to shore. Now we’s can’t get warm. I buried him under some leaves, but it is snowing.”

“You must take him to Mother.”

“I’s don’t know.” Her voice trembled.

She must be freezing. Josephine reached through the bars for Gin’s hand. It was as cold as stone. “Follow the shoreline until you see two large wigwams, then cut across to a house down the only path from them.”

Please Lord, let them not have changed the paths. “My mother will be there. She will know what to do. Hurry.”

Feet shuffled on the floor. “I go, Mistress. I’ll take care of him.”

If only she had not chased Davis away. He could have been here to help her.

Praise God, Little William was safe. Would she live to hold him again?

# # #

Josephine awakened, dragged from the depths of a dark pit. Her chest ached, her throat burned, and her limbs weighed as stone. She shivered though sweat poured off her brow. ‘Twas hard to tell whether it be day or night, so dark was the cell.

Her eyes focused, and she found a sliver of light slipping beneath the door that led to the General Sergeant’s chambers. The light had the hue of sunshine. Then perhaps it was day.

She pushed up against the wall, the action releasing a volley of barking coughs which left her gasping for air. Her thoughts hung like a thick cloud over the bay, too muddled to make sense. She slipped back to the mattress.

The door scraped open, and Davis walked toward the cage. Back from the door stood John Easton, watching, his face dark and troubled.

Would he have mercy on her?

Davis pushed a key into the lock and pulled the cell door open. Only then did Josephine see the blankets tucked under his arm.

The smile on his lips belayed the worry in his eyes when he set the covers she had kicked off in her fevered sleep over her and added the extra blankets. He took the bucket from the corner and went outside.

Was this a dream, seeing him there, feeling his kindness? She closed her eyes.

Visions of her husband, William, flickered to her then fluttered away.

Davis’s image came back, placing hot rocks beneath the blankets at her feet. His voice took a mournful note, but she could not make out his words.

She shivered.

Davis’ voice came again, as though traveling across the ocean . . . haunting, fearful. He faded into the dark.

William stood above her. “Come now, and let us reason together.” He disappeared in a cloud.

Mr. St. Michels emerged, his fist shaking at her. “God will choose your delusion and bring your fear upon you, because when God called, you did not answer but did evil and chose that in which God delighted not.”

He was overshadowed by William’s figure, his face bright and beautiful. “But your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear.”

“Josephine.” Someone shook her shoulder.

She screamed, but no sound came from her burning throat.

“Josephine.” It was Davis’s voice.

She could not bring herself to focus on him.

“Please hear me.” He sounded as though he were crying. “Call on the Lord. Please call on the Lord. Oh God, that you would not take her from me.”

The dark cloud rode over her, and she slipped away, but his voice echoed into her subconscious, “Call on the Lord.”

# # #

Her eyes opened to utter darkness. Her heart thundered in her ears. Was this hell? She blinked and caught the sliver of light from beneath the door. It wavered, like that of a candle.

She yawned and pushed the covers from her.

The air was cold and damp, yet refreshing.

Though weak, she sat up and drew in a long breath, which dragged against her sore throat.

A scraping came from behind the door, like a chair being slid along the floor. Footsteps neared the door, and it opened.

Davis moved into view. “Josephine?” His voice stung her heart.

She rose to her feet. Her legs wobbled. “Davis.”

“How do you feel?” His hands shook as he clasped the bars of the cage.

She brushed limp hair from her face, and the gown she wore glared up at her speaking of her wickedness. Gasping, she snatched a blanket from the ground and wrapped it around her then darted to the corner.

Adulterer. Voices from her dreams became almost audible in the small cell.

“The general sergeant will be here shortly.”

“Why?” She kept her face turned to the corner. He must not see her like this.

“To take you to the trial.” His voice was flat.

She eased her gaze over her shoulder.

His face looked haggard, as though he had aged a century since last she saw him. “Your mother has prepared a gown for you. I’ll tell her she can come in now.” He left, and the dark enveloped her.

"Thank you," she whispered and shuffled back to the mattress to collapse.
______________________________

Food for Thought

1. Isaiah 66:4 says:

"I also will choose their delusions, and will bring their fears upon them; because when I called, none did answer; when I spake, they did not hear: but they did evil before mine eyes, and chose that in which I delighted not."

Delusions means vexation or adversity. In other words, God would choose the Jews' distress and bring to them the things they feared. Why?

Did Josephine know God's ways before this? Is she about to experience what she feared?

2. What did Davis say would help Josephine? Did he mean physically or spiritually?

3. Davis said that he wished he could go to hell in Josephine's place. How far are you willing to go to contend for someone else's life?

Dawn Over Narragansett Bay, Chapter 42

2011-10-20T14:11:00.000-07:00

If you haven't read the previous chapters of Dawn Over Narragansett Bay, Click here.

June, 1653 Newport, Rhode Island

____________________________________

Chapter Forty-Two

“I can’t believe . . .” Nathaniel squeezed his forehead between his thumb and fingers. “You said he accused Josephine of seducing him?” He slammed his hand against the table. “You saw what he did to her, how he behaved, when he was here.”

“I had no choice. Joseph Easton was with me.” Davis turned pale. Indeed, he clutched his stomach as though he would vomit.

“Sit down.” Nathaniel growled and thrust his fist toward the bench.

“I cannot.” Davis shoulders rose and fell. “I wish not to be away from her for long.”

A deep breath brought the jabbing pain to Nathaniel's chest. He punched his heart and coughed, but the pain would not let up.

“Sit down.” Sarah laid her hand on his shoulder.

He abided to her wishes. “I should go with you.”

“Things are going to get rough.” Davis shook his head. “You’ll need your strength. She’ll need you later. And you must think of the company. As of now, we will manage, but should things turn . . .”

“If Pepys is proven to be a pirate . . .” Nathaniel swatted the air. “All I ever wanted to be was a simple farmer.”

Davis snorted. “Perhaps one day God will answer your prayers. For now, rest. I’ll send you word what happens.” He turned to Sarah. “Keep him home.”

“I will.” She squeezed Nathaniel’s shoulder.

The door latch clicked, and pain shot up Nathaniel’s left side and down his arm. He clutched his side. “I feel . . . useless.”

# # #

“Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is.” Davis’s voice drifted on a dark haze.

Josephine pushed her eyes open.

No light in the cell, but from outside the cage a candle lit Davis's face.

She pushed her hair from her cheek and massaged her numb hands.

He sat there. He did not look at her.

The cold floor reeked of urine.

She shifted to a sitting position, floorboards rough against her hand.

“For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green.” He pressed the book with his hand and bowed his head.

She pulled her knees under her chin. Would that he would leave her be.

“Do you know what will become of you?” His voice trembled.

“I shall be whipped.”

“The sailor, Jib, says the ruby appeared in your possession the night after Mr. St. Michels was murdered.”

Breath pushed from her deepest parts. Such a God-fearing man did not deserve to die. What would poor Mrs. St. Michels do?

“Do you understand, Josephine?”

“Understand what?”

“You are accused of murder.”

“Murder?” She covered her mouth with her cloak. They thought she was the one who killed Mr. St. Michels? “But I wasn’t even here.”

“Pepys and Jib swear that you were.”

“It’s not true.” She crawled across the cell and gripped the bars. “They took me to the island . . .” But it was her word against theirs. She reached through the bars to Davis, but he did not take her hand. It dropped to the floor. “Have you found Little William? Is he safe?”

Davis’s mouth took a stern line. “He has disappeared. Pepys accuses a runaway slave of taking him.”

Gin. Did she get Little William away? Where would she take him? God, would you be so merciful? “What time is it?”

“It is the eve of December 5, the day after I . . .” He swallowed. “The day after I arrested you.”

Or did Pepys steal Little William away? She whimpered and wrapped her arms about herself. “What am I to do?”

He closed the Bible, letting the pages slide together, and then laid it on the table by the candle. “I must know. Did you seduce Pepys? I cannot help you unless you tell me everything.”

She drew her cloak over her face. Must the world know her sins? Oh my son, my son.

“If he did anything to you . . . if he touched you in any way . . . if he . . .”

‘Twas clear he could not say what he was thinking.

“They will sentence me to the gallows.”

“I will do all I can to stop it. I do not believe you killed St. Michels.”

“No one can stand against Pepys.” She started rocking. “He’s evil. He’s unlike anyone I’ve ever known.” Her shoulders quivered. “I don’t believe he is the Baron Pepys. I believe he is a pirate, the Pirate Jacques Montars.”

Davis kneeled down beside her, on the other side of the bars.

Cold bars. Defining bars.

He gripped the metal. “Do you have proof of this?”

“Nay.” If only Jib hadn’t taken the bill of sale from her with Montars’ name on it. But even that would not be enough to prove what she knew in her heart. “If you find Gin, maybe she can bear witness against him.” But the slave girl’s fear might keep her from telling . . . and would the court believe a slave, a runaway slave? “I’m sorry, Davis.” She lowered herself to the floor. “Tell Nathaniel, tell Sarah, tell Mother, I am sorry.” The court would try her and hang her. “Save my son. Please, you said once you’d . . . would you . . . oh, Davis . . . save him.”

“Josephine, you mustn’t give up.”

Perhaps it was time to give up and accept her fate. She was tired of fighting God. “You will all be better off if I am dead.” She curled into a ball. “I deserve nothing less than hell.”

“But that is not what God wants for you.”

“God does not want me. Even the Bible condemns me. The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.”

“But the Bible also says God has no pleasure in the death of the wicked.”

Her chest ached. So Davis did believe her wicked. "Please leave me.”

“Can’t you understand—”

“Please.” She covered her ears and wailed until he left.
__________________________

Food for Thought

1. Is repentance necessary in order to receive salvation?

To repent means to change one's mind for the better. Acts 3:19 says:

"Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord."

Josephine hates her sin. She believes she deserves hell, but has she repented?

2. Davis refers to Ezekiel 33:11.

"Say unto them, As I live, saith the Lord GOD, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked; but that the wicked turn from his way and live: turn ye, turn ye from your evil ways; for why will ye die, O house of Israel?"

A teaching started by Augustine (A.D. 354-430), and later to be perpetuated by John Calvin (A.D. 1509-1564) says, "If some are predestined to Heaven, the rest are predestined to Hell." But passages in Ezekiel along with II Peter 3:9 indicate that God does not want anyone to perish, "but that all should come to repentance."

When a person repents and believes that Jesus died for his sins, was buried, and rose again, he is born again (read John 3). The person becomes a new creature (II Corinthians 5:17). As a new born babe in Christ, that person becomes predestined to be conformed to the image of Christ.

Romans 8:29 says:

"For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son..."

We can compare this to Prince Charles of England. When he was born, he was predestined to become the King of England. However, you wouldn't say that he was predestined to be born. So why would you say that a person is predestined to be born again?

Given that God doesn't want anyone to perish, does Josephine have a chance at being saved?

3. What does Josephine need to do to be saved?

While it is good that she understands she is a sinner and that she deserves hell, she needs to come to understand that God is a rewarder of those who seek Him. She needs to turn her thinking and look to Jesus Christ for a way of redemption. If she believes and calls on the name of Jesus to save her from her sins, she will gain eternal life.

Dawn Over Narragansett Bay Chapter 41

2011-10-19T13:39:00.000-07:00

If you haven't read the previous chapters of Dawn Over Narragansett Bay, Click here.

June, 1653 Newport, Rhode Island

____________________________________

Chapter Forty-One

The night hours grew long.

Josephine shivered not only from cold, but from the fear that scuttled around her stomach.

The ship flung about in the night. A raft on a violent sea.

Would it ever end? Perhaps this was the hell God planned for her, an endless sickening sway in a cold dark hovel.

After a time, the wild side-to-side movement of the ship calmed, and the vessel rocked like her mother in a temper. Not comforting. Only intent on making clear her disobedient actions would be punished. If the ship had a face, it would scowl at her like Mother.

Mother . . . oh, what humiliation Josephine brought to her. If she lived beyond this storm, she’d never shame Mother again. If she escaped Pepys’ clutches and saved her son, she’d be a dutiful daughter and marry whomever her brother wished . . . or whomever would have her.

Footsteps drew near the door.

She scurried under the desk. ‘Twas futile. And for what use? Pepys already knew she was there and assumed she waited for his pleasure. Her stomach pitched at the thought of what that pleasure might be.

The door pushed open.

Her skin grew clammy. She pushed away from the desk. ‘Twas time now. She’d meet her destiny.

Pepys’ black leather boot came into view.

She pulled herself to her feet and lifted her gaze until she had no choice but to look at the man.

His lustful eyes narrowed, and he twisted his moustache.

If only she had thought this through more to come up with some way to hold him off, yet convince him of her loyalty. She pushed her shoulders back.

“You faired the storm, I see.” He removed his soaking hat and cloak and tossed them to the back of the cabin. His gaze searched the room for something.

“Yes,” she croaked and touched her throat.

His eyes turned on her, and for a moment, they held a pained expression. But then they drew taut, and he lifted the corner of his lip in a lewd smile. “I understand you wanted to leave the island before I returned.”

An invisible belt pulled tight around her chest.

The boat rolled, and she staggered with it.

He’d kill her. His countenance bore the same evil it did the night he left her . . . when he raped Gin.

“I thought we had a contract, an agreement for you to be my housekeeper.” He moved around her like a snake coiling before it strikes.

The door was now behind her. She might be able to jump off the boat. Drowning would be better than this. She backed toward the opening.

“The gown you wear,” he lifted his hand, unclasped the cloak, and pushed it from her shoulders, “suggests to me that you wish to seduce me.” His gaze darted to the door.

Blood drained from her face. She pivoted with a slow, sinking feeling that her fate was sealed. Behind her stood Jib dancing on his toes as though in gleeful anticipation of her demise. The repugnant man grinned and drooled. But behind him stood Young Joseph Easton and Davis Owen.

“Would you not agree that she is here to seduce me, a married man?”

She whipped around to stare at Pepys. “You’re married?”

“Yea, Mrs. Coptin, to the love of my life.”

Her body trembled, and she reached down for her cloak. Was he, as Baron Pepys, married or as Montars? She turned to Davis. “I . . . it is not what it seems.” Her eyes locked with his.

His were as cold as stone.

She stepped toward Davis. Her hand stretched for him. He must hate her. He must despise her.

Joseph Easton’s lip curled in disdain.

Vomit rose to her throat. She would be whipped and left to die. No one would want her now. Her knees gave way, and she collapsed to the floor.

“She is an adulterous woman.” Pepys sneered. “Remove her from me. Jib will attest to her lasciviousness on the island.”

“No!” Josephine cried. How dare he accuse her.

“Hush woman.” Jib kicked her.

“There’ll be none of that.” Davis’s voice rolled deep and angry.

“She is a thief as well.” Pepys grabbed the corner of her cloak and drew up a ruby.

Where had that come from? “It’s not true. I did not take it.” Josephine reached for Davis’s hand.

He let her take it, but made no move to help her stand.

“Davis, you must believe me. I am no thief.” What reason had she given him to believe her? Had she not scorned him . . . twice? Had he not found her with the stolen necklace?

“You must take her to the prison, Mr. Owen. It is your duty as General Sergeant Deputy.” Joseph Easton spewed the words at her then turned and leered at Davis.

“I will.” He whispered through clenched teeth then pulled her to her feet. “Josephine, you must come.” His voice came steady, almost kind. “You are being arrested for adultery and grand larceny.” His face gnarled, but his touch was gentle.

A wave moved the boat up and down as it rolled past taking with it any hope that she could escape judgment. She pulled on his arm and whispered, “I am not a thief.”

His cheek twitched, and he gave her a slight nod.

Joseph Easton slapped shackles on her hands and feet. The clanking reached her ears, a dull sound, and the cold from the metal seeped in through her skin. Davis came, as she prayed he would, but God only increased her shame.

The boat rolled, swinging her back and forth, like a bully pushing his victim.

She deserved this. Had she not come on board with the very intention of which Pepys accused her? . . . Except not to steal. “Davis, please, find my son.” ‘Twas all the hope she had. Davis would care for him, wouldn’t he?

He touched her back. “I will.”

But his words did not register in her mind. “Don’t let him . . . please go and get William. Take him to Nathaniel.”

“I will, Mrs. Coptin. I will.”

“Her son is under my care. It was in the contract.” Pepys smirked, and pulled a paper from his desk then handed it to Davis.

She did not remember reading that in the contract . . . How could this be?

Davis’s face paled when he looked up from the document. “Did you read this before you signed?” He pushed the paper in front of Josephine.

Cold air caressed her soul. “I did.”

“And you signed it anyway?”

Ice wrapped around her. “I don’t remember this. I . . . I wouldn’t have signed my son’s life away.”

“This is your signature?”

The tick above the ‘i’’ had her distinctive curl. How could she have missed those words that gave guardianship of her son to Pepys? Had she really been so blind? “Yes.” Her stomach froze and sent ice up her throat. “You must believe me . . . I did not see that part.” Her fingers stiffened on the paper. “It could not have been there when I signed it.” Her body trembled uncontrollably.
“You are turning blue.” Davis removed his cloak and put it over hers. “We must get you to the prison.” He turned to Pepys. “You and your men will come, too.”

“Of course. I’m a law-abiding citizen. I would not hesitate to do my duty.” Pepys lifted his chin. “If I had known this woman to be the seductress she is, I would not have hired her as a housekeeper. Why would I subject my men to such folly?”

The muscles in Davis’s jaw knotted. “That’s enough.”

The cold trip to shore gave Josephine no time to prepare for seeing her mother. But there Mother stood, head up, face gray, and eyes looking as though they ached from the shame Josephine brought her.

Davis helped her from the boat and held her elbow as they started the walk up the Long Wharf toward the prison.

She barely noticed his gentle touch, though it crossed her mind to question it.

People stepped from their homes and places of business to watch . . . no, to leer at her.

The cold wind bit at her ears and tugged at her uncovered hair. She would not look at Davis and let him think she would beg for his mercy. She had refused him. Shamed him. And now she would pay the price for not humbling herself . . . for not accepting his offer of marriage during his visit at Pepys Manor. If she had, she would not be here, shaming him now. No doubt he was glad he didn’t marry her.

A moan escaped her lips. If only she had not been so foolish.

Each step shot tingles of pain up her legs, cold from a night without heat.

The low morning sun gave no warmth. And the frigid stares of the townspeople only deepened the chill.

I the Lord search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways.

She stumbled and fell to her knees.

“Josephine, you must get up.” Davis did not hiss the words. His voice remained gentle.

She struggled to stand. Her body quaked then relinquished its last meal.

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? God hated her.

Davis wiped her mouth with the corner of his cloak then scooped her into his arms. The warmth of his chest eased the chill she felt.

Her mother’s hand rested upon her arm. “Josephine,” she whispered, “I am here, daughter.”

Mother.

Doors opened along the wharf. Feet shuffled along frozen ground.

I have seen thine adulteries, and thy neighing, the lewdness of thy whoredom, and thine abominations on the hills in the fields.

Josephine closed her eyes as the condemning words echoed in her heart. No mercy left for her.

Davis took the steps to the jailhouse smoothly. She listened to the click of his footsteps on the wood floor. Metal clanged when he opened the cell door. Then he lowered her to the ground.

She scrambled to the corner and curled up like a scared lamb.

“Josephine. Are Pepys’s accusations true?” His voice echoed in her ears, cracking as though his heart broke. He touched her shoulder.

She pressed against the stone wall. He should not touch her . . . she’s filthy . . . too wicked to be in the presence of God.

“Josephine, are they true? Did you go to seduce Pepys?”

A pule escaped her lips, like that of an injured kitten, pushing the air out but no words could come.

He swallowed. “Did he hurt you?”

“Save my son. I wanted to save my son.” She gasped and heaved. “Oh God Almighty, I only wanted to save my son.” She grasped his hand. “Can You have mercy on me?”

Davis gently pulled his hand away. “I do not condemn you, Josephine.”

She listened as he shuffled to the door. His gait spoke of how her touch defiled him. No wonder he pulled away. She was a . . . lewd whore.

“You are safe in here. You do not need to . . . that sin . . .” He let out a sigh. “You are safe now.”
___________________________________

Food for Thought

1. Psalm 83:16 says:

"Fill their faces with shame; that they may seek thy name, O LORD."

Josephine had read parts of Jeremiah and the prophets and had taken the words to heart. Still, she made a decision based on what she felt she had to do, seduce Pepys to protect her brother and her son. What has the shame of being caught done to her?

2. Proverbs 16:18 says:

"Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall."

In what way did Josephine demonstrate a proud spirit? How did it lead to this shame?

3. In her shame, Josephine recalled the verses she had read from the Bible that convicted her of sin. Davis arrested her and led her away in shackles. Who had Davis come to represent to her?

Fiction Friday: Dawn Over Narragansett Bay, Ch. 40

2011-10-14T09:26:00.000-07:00

Today is Fiction Friday, and if you want to read more stories, click on over to The Surrendered Scribe.

If you haven't read the previous chapters of Dawn Over Narragansett Bay, Click here.

June, 1653 Newport, Rhode Island

____________________________________

Chapter Forty

Davis thrust the door open to the Griffith’s home. “Nathaniel, we need to talk.”

With cheek twitching, Nathaniel handed his sleeping son to Sarah and stood. The corners of his eyes drooped when he motioned Davis to the bench by the table.

“Easton just deputized me.” Davis ran his hands through his hair. “He suspects the Griffith Shipping Company of privateering.”

“We’ve known that for some time.” Nathaniel rubbed his chest and grimaced.

“Yes, but . . ." Davis shook his head. “His intention is . . . he’d rather we made the discovery than someone else.” He pressed his palms into the table and studied his partner. The stress did Nathaniel no good, but this news should be some comfort. Did it not prove that not everyone had turned against them? “Easton's right. Better to be us who searches the ship. 'Twould give the appearance that we are working against the problem.”

Nathaniel twisted away from the table and rubbed his shoulder and neck.

“You all right?” 'Twas obvious Nathaniel was having heart trouble. Without a doctor, how were they to help him?

“Yes . . . no.” Nathaniel gasped for breath.

Sarah moved to his side, babe in arms. “Sit.” She took his elbow and guided him into the chair.

Perhaps Davis was too hasty in bringing this news. He stood and paced before the hearth. If he had come in calmer the news might not have affected Nathaniel so.

“Uncle Edward . . . this will be the second time I’ve failed him.” Nathaniel held his breath as he bent over his chest. “I’ll have to sell a ship to cover our debts.”

"Not yet. We don't know for sure whether there is any problems or missing cargo." Davis ground his teeth. “Rest. We’ll get through this. I have money—”

“What good will that do?” Nathaniel’s fingernails dug into the arms of the chair. “Business . . . we’ll lose it.”

No. Davis wouldn’t let that happen. “We’ll make it through, but not if you kill yourself with worry.” He snatched his sword from the rack on the wall and sheathed it. “I’m going out to watch for the ship.” He crossed the room and laid a hand on Nathaniel’s shoulders. “Pray, Dear Lord, touch Nathaniel. Give him peace.”

“In Jesus precious name,” continued Sarah.

“Amen,” they three spoke in unison.

# # #

Davis returned to the rock overlooking the opening of Narragansett Bay. The winds, whipped his cloak around his legs, and he staggered before he got his footing.

Lightning flashed revealing a vessel just a mile offshore. It’s mainsail up, the ship came in fast, intent no doubt, on reaching the Newport Harbor to shelter the storm.

The wind lifted the spray from the waves, beating it against him.

His muscles braced. 'Twas a good chance that was Pepys’s ship. The vessel dipped and dived and tilted at the mercy of the ocean and the wind.

A large wave crashed upon the rock where Davis stood, soaking him with its spray.

He scrambled back, keenly aware how easily such a wave could drag him out to sea. Once above the rocks and on solid ground, he watched the galleon battered by the storm. The wind carried the cries of the men to him as the vessel tipped to its side then straightened itself.

Davis ran down the cliff path a good distance, scrambling to keep his footing and to keep the vessel in view. If the craft made it around the tip of Aquidneck Island, it would be in sheltered waters.

The ship leaned from side to side as it moved past the point. The crew pulled the sails, and the craft slowed. Likely they dropped anchor as well.

Rain barreled down on Davis, and he skidded along the path. His felt hat, pinned down by the water, brushed cold against his cheek. His breath came hard and raw while lines of lightning broke the black sky like white jagged swords. He’d not get to the ship tonight. Not in this storm.

The ship held its position now, though it still bobbed like a cork in the rough waters.

Cracked white lines of light flashed across the sky, revealing the identity of the ship. Pepys.

Davis turned off the cliff path and headed inland, taking a sheltered passage back to the Griffith house. The moment the storm passed he planned to board the boat. It would be good to see Montague, provided he made it.

Davis clenched his teeth. No letters gave strong indication that he did not.
______________________________

Food for Thought

1. II Corinthians 6:14-17 says:

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.

Because Nathaniel's uncle established the partnership with the Baron Pepys, Nathaniel had to accept that partnership. How did Uncle Edward's decision affect the business and Nathaniel? Based on the above verses, is it wise to form a business partnership with someone who does not believe as you do?

2. In Ezra chapters 9 and 10, Ezra learns of the Israelites marriages to the Gentiles. God had judged Israel (and Judah) because they did not obey God's laws. One of those laws was to not marry from the nations around them. The people of Israel humbled themselves and recognized that they deserved a greater punishment than what God had given them. Ezra prayed, wept, and cast himself before the house of God. The people wept. To show true repentance, they put away their "strange" wives. Such an action seems incredibly harsh, even wrong in our eyes today. Yet, to do so took courage and demonstrated their great remorse for disobeying God's laws.

Have you ever been in a position where you realize that you have made an alliance with an organization or a business or a person that you should not have? What price did you pay? How did you get out of it? If you did 'untangle' yourself from that alliance, did you find peace and God's blessing?

3. God is merciful. With the Israelites, He showed mercy not only by giving them the law and prophets to show them what He expected of them, but also by revealing to them where they sinned so they can repent.

Like Nathaniel, sometimes we find ourselves in situations put upon us by someone else. Can you see where God has shown Nathaniel mercy? When you have found yourself in these situations, have you looked for and seen God's mercy?

Dawn Over Narragansett Bay, ch. 39

2011-10-13T09:00:00.000-07:00

If you haven't read the previous chapters of Dawn Over Narragansett Bay, Click here.

June, 1653 Newport, Rhode Island

____________________________________

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Josephine steadied her breathing, making it come slow and rhythmic.

Their fishing boat approached the dark sides of the galleon. On deck, men in filthy jerkins and doublets worked to load nets with crates that would be lowered to the boats below.

In the next few minutes her life would change forever. Was she ready to give up all hope of happiness, of possible reconciliation with her family?

“Josephine!” The baron waved to her from the deck. “I did not send for you, why did you come?”

She waved back though her blood turned cold. “I could not wait to see you . . . my . . . baron. May I come aboard?”

The waters rose and fell with great fervor.

'Twas how her stomach felt. She glanced at the darkening sky and shivered.

A sailor lifted a lantern over the railing of the ship. Its light reflected off the gold chains that dangled from the baron’s neck.

Did he take those from a man whose ship he robbed? Perhaps a man he murdered?

She wrapped her fist around the clasp of her cloak.

“We are busy unloading supplies, my dear lady.” Pepys scratched his chin as a dangerous smile grew on his face. “But perhaps you may wait for me in my cabin.”

She pressed her eyes shut as her stomach rose with each buck of the sea. For her son’s safety . . . was there not another way? Could she not even now flee with her son? The boy sat with Gin keeping warm and safe by the canvas. God, protect him.

Their boat banged against the ship, and she looked up to see Pepys studying her.

Show no fear.

After climbing on board the galleon, she staggered, and Pepys took her arm. She leaned into him, and her eyes dampened. The burn of a blush took to her face, and dropped her gaze to the boards of the boat beneath her.

“My dear, it would have been better for you to wait at the manor for me.” He lowered his gaze to meet hers.

Josephine pulled the azure hood about her face. Would it hide the fear her face no doubt wore? “I could not wait to be with you.” Did her voice sound convincing enough?

The ship pitched, and she fell into Pepys arms.

If she were to act in love with him, she would need to keep the disdain at bay. She held him close.

His arms wrapped around her, and his breath was hot on her neck. A swell tossed the ship again, tilting her deeper into his chest, the gold chains pressing against her cheek, cold and sharp.

She shivered.

“Ma très chère, you are cold. I will take you to my cabin where you can wait for me.” He guided her toward the stern of the ship.

“The slaves . . .”

“I will send them back. You have no need for them here.”

A squall stirred her stomach. Her son would be out of her sight. “Please, let Gin join me. . . . she could help me . . . I wish to be . . .”

Pepys frowned at her.

She mustn’t let him doubt her sincerity. But could she really go through with this? “You will . . . you will come quickly to me?” She gripped his sleeve.

“You are hungry for me?” He laughed. “Then I will not disappoint you.”

Bile rose to her throat. If he trusted her, he would not harm Little William. If she could make him believe her, perhaps he would not believe the words of Jib or Mary. “I’m sure you won’t.” She attempted a coy smile.

The timbers of the ship creaked as Pepys settled Josephine in his cabin. A sailor called, and he left without touching her.

She collapsed to the floor. “Dear God. I do not want to do this. I’ve been a fool.”

The boat rose and fell, tossed by waves of God’s derision against her, no doubt.

“Please, if You have mercy on me don’t let him touch me . . . I should not have come.” Her breathing came in short spikes. “Whatever happens to me, dear God, protect my son.”

She scrambled along the rolling floor and snatched a blanket from the bed. Pepys's smell was on it, and her stomach revolted. She tossed it away and wrapped her arms about her, shivering, her back against the inner wall. There she would stay until the baron came. “God of Heaven let him not come. If you have any mercy left for me, let him not come. . . . Why was I so foolish?”

# # #

The storm rolled upon the ship with ever increasing strength. “The gale, she comes with evil intent, Cap’n.” Jib’s eyes narrowed as he faced the wind.

Montars rested his hands on his hips and let the boat roll beneath his feet. He loved the rise of a storm, the power it generated, flowing through his veins with greater intensity than a tankard of rum. “You say Josephine tried to escape the island?”

“Aye, Cap’n. She found your bill o’ sale for them slaves of yers and seemed intent on bringing you trouble.”

Montars chest burned with a familiar fire. “Did you touch her?”

“Nay, sir. Though I know she tastes fine.” The maggot grinned.

“Keep that to yourself.” Montars leaned into Jib and wrapped his fist around the man’s shirt. “You touch her while she’s under my protection, and you’ll think hell a better place than life on earth.”

Jib raised his hands. “Aye sir.”

Montars cast him away just as the ship lurched and knocked them both against the rail. The prow tipped down as a large swell rolled under the ship. “Get this ship around the isle and up near Goat Island. It’ll be sheltered there, though by the looks of these swells we’ll be hard-pressed to get there before the squall strikes. Heave to, men!” Montars shouted commands, but kept a wary eye on Jib. The blackguard couldn’t be trusted.

Josephine, sweet Josephine . . . he’d forgotten how she stirred his heart. Yet, she proved as treacherous as any other woman. Why did she dare to open the box?

He’d deal with her once the storm passed.

# # #

Josephine rolled across the floor as the bow of the boat lifted up. Her hands flung out, grasping at air. The floor dipped back, and she snatched the corner of the desk with her hand. Her cold fingers ached to hold her in place.

A flash of lighting revealed the room bucking like a wild horse, then the dark shadows dove in around her.

A book slid from the desk and thudded to the floor while the wind roared and whistled outside.

She pulled her knees to her chest and clung to the desk, which was nailed to the floor.

Waves splashed against the boards. Shouts of men filtered from the deck. A cry, like that of a child came as well.

Her heartbeat sped. It could not be Little William, though. Sable and Pete were told to return, and the child would have remained safe with Gin. “Dear God, protect him. I’ve been foolish, but he is a child. Surely you will not make him suffer for my mistakes,” she cried into the sounds of the storm. If only God would hear her. “Take me home, dear God. Have Nathaniel . . . or Davis . . .” Her chest caved. What she could have had with him, if only she would have returned with them. “. . . If you have mercy left for me, if there be hope . . . please let them come and rescue my son before it is too late. Did Davis not say he would ensure Little William a future? I’ll do whatever he asks me to do. He’s a good man. Dear God, have mercy.”
____________________________

Food for Thought

1. Before a person can be saved, he needs to understand the depravity of his life. Each of us are wretched sinners. No, not all commit murder, but I doubt there is a person a live who has not told a lie.

"Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God." Galatians 5:19-21

Do you envy? You're guilty of sin. Have you hated anyone? You're guilty of sin.

These are the works of the flesh. These come naturally to us. These are what we war against.

Is Josephine warring against any of these?

2. Josephine calls out for God's mercy. This is another step a person may take toward becoming saved. It demonstrates an understanding that he needs God's mercy, but it does not demonstrate an understanding that salvation comes only through faith in the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

"Moreover, brethren, I declare unto you the gospel which I preached unto you, which also ye have received, and wherein ye stand; By which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain.For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures:" I Corinthians 15:1-4

You cannot be saved from your sins until you first recognize that salvation comes through Jesus Christ. What kind of salvation is Josephine seeking right now?

3. Davis refused to marry her when first the subject came up because he sought to obey Scripture.

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" II Corinthians 6:14

He made the mistake of toying with her affections. He allowed himself to be attracted to her and to fall in love with her. However, he attempted to show her kindness. Do you think that kindness will be a hindrance or a drawing for Josephine to come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ?

Have you ever flirted with someone you knew was not a person you would be able to marry? Do you think this was right or honoring to God?

I'm going to take you a step further, to challenge you. When you read romance novels, do you ever "fall in love with" the hero? What attracts you to that hero? Is it his sensuality? Is it his strength and courage? Is it his Godliness? What can you learn about yourself based on what you find attracts you to a hero?

Dawn Over Narragansett Bay, ch. 38

2011-10-11T08:52:00.000-07:00

If you haven't read the previous chapters of Dawn Over Narragansett Bay, Click here.

June, 1653 Newport, Rhode Island

____________________________________

Chapter Thirty-Eight

“Mistress.” Sable’s whisper came through the door.

Josephine wiped her tears, picked up the Bible from the floor and straightened her dress. She slipped past a sleeping Gin and opened the door.

The slave looked furtively behind him, before speaking. “A ship was seen just offshore. The sailors believe it to be the baron’s. Those not too drunk have headed to the shore to welcome him.”

The baron? Her heart raced. How would she escape now? God have mercy, what would he do when he finds I’ve turned from him?

“Pete and I cannot get a boat with the men there.” Sable drilled his fist into his palm.

Pepys would not know what had transpired on the island since he left until someone told him. If she could deceive him into believing she still loved him . . . It was her only chance. “Sable, quick. Get Pete and a rowboat from the west side of the island, where the fishermen’s docks are. I must get to Pepys before his men do.”

“There isn’t time.”

No, there wasn’t time. Yet, she had to try. “We have no other choice.” She pushed the door closed and whispered through it. “Go quickly.” Dare she risk the slaves lives, too?

His footsteps confirmed his obedience.

To stay would guarantee Pepys would know she no lingered loved him, and he no doubt would turn his wrath on her and the slaves.

She picked up the tankard from the bureau and sipped the cider. Its cool apple flavor wet her dry mouth while she studied Gin’s sleeping form. The bruises from Pepys’s beating had long faded from the girl’s face and arms, but the memory had not.

Her stomach sank, and she turned away to look at her wardrobe. The only way to convince Pepys she loved him was to act as though she did . . . on his terms. She gripped her abdomen. How far would she have to go?

There was only one dress she had not converted to a more modest style. This dress she would wear. It revealed her cleavage and left her shoulders bare, exposed to the winter air.

Despite choking on the images the dress painted, she pulled the dress over her head.

The petticoat hung in a manner abandoning decency. Her father would have roared at how the skirt circled up with trimmings, revealing the underskirts.

If there was another way . . . but this course was the only one to bring her son’s safety. She might even be able to find out what the man had plan for her brother and the Griffith Shipping Company. Would that she could have influence on the baron.

She pressed her hands against her chest as she glanced at Little William. Whatever it took to keep him safe, she would do. Even if it meant surrendering herself to Pepys. Stomach acid rose to the back of her throat. Pray God, don’t let it come to that.

If the baron suspected that she knew his identity no doubt he’d turn his full rage on her. Could convincing him of her loyalty really sway him from his plans? No time for doubts.

The damp air drove the cold into her bones.

She swung an azure robe over her bare shoulder. Yes, her heart was wicked, but perhaps God would understand. Her actions would buy them time until she could secret Little William to Nathaniel.

If she convinced Pepys of her love, and managed to get her son to Nathaniel, she must also get word to her brother that Pepys is the pirate Jacques Montars. Perhaps even find proof before he ruined Nathaniel and the shipping company. That might be a better plan than trying to change Pepys.

She stumbled as she exited her chamber. She’d sacrifice herself for this.

’Twas true then, God did give to her according to her wicked ways. She had cast herself upon the baron, having been tempted by him and all he offered. And in so doing, she had set her destiny. One away from God.

She tiptoed down the stairs with the speed of a rabbit, her slippered feet peaking beneath her dress with each step, a picture of her own sinful heart peeking out from the trappings of a puritan’s daughter.

Her hand pressed against the pounding in her head, which matched the pounding in her heart, and set her jaw against any weakening of heart. Whatever came, she must ensure the safety of her son. To do that, she must prove her loyalty to Pepys, and offering herself to him was the only way. She must follow through. God, will You forgive me for what I am about to do?

# # #

Leaves, whipped in a circle, lifted high in the air by the wind’s finger, and toppled to the ground like hope lost.

Josephine stood frozen and staring at the rowboat on the docks below. The cold seeped through her cloak and into her heart.

Sable waved her to the docks. “Here mistress, sit in the bow. Pete will be along in a moment.”

Josephine’s slippers did not keep the wet out as she slid down to the dock and pattered along the boards to the small vessel. In the stern lay a canvas she assumed covered fish. At least that was what the scent suggested.

“If you look to the south, you’ll see the ship. I’ve not yet seen a boat row out to it, but I have seen a couple row from it.”

“Then it is possible the baron has not spoken to anyone from the island.”

“Mmm. It is possible, but just as possible they sent him a message or that he came to the island.”

“Pray God, he did not.” Josephine pressed her hood against her ears to ward off the cold.

A low growl came from Sable. “I don’t like what I think you are planning, mistress. I knows it is not my place to say, but you’ve got to hear it.”

Footsteps scurried along the dock. Josephine saw Gin carrying Little William and Pete following her.

She frowned and pushed down the urge to yell. “I didn’t want you to come, Gin, for tonight we will not get away.”

“Pete told me to come. He says I must stop you. Mistress—”

“I know you feel you must, but please trust me. This is the only way.”

'Twas fear that clouded the girl’s countenance.

Perhaps she was wrong to insist Gin stay. If Pepys had come to the island, Gin would not be safe.

“I not speak much of God, but I knows you believe in Him,” Pete whispered. “I knows this isn’t His way.”

No, perhaps not. But God knew her wicked heart and left her to suffer according to the way she took. “We haven’t time to argue. Gin, if you must come, then quickly climb in and hide yourselves beneath the tarp. Let me hold William.”

She clutched her sleeping son to her chest. After tonight their lives would not be the same. God, protect my son.

# # #

Davis paced on the rock jutting into the south end of Narragansett Bay. He could not sleep, fearing for Josephine’s safety.

Storm clouds hid the stars and closed off the view to the ship that sailed to the southwest side of Wolf Island. 'Twas all he could do to keep himself from hijacking a sloop and sailing himself to strangle Baron Pepys’s imposter. Instead, he prayed. Would God prick Josephine’s heart? Would He have mercy and protect her?

He lowered himself to the rock that sloped out over the rolling waves and listened to the slopping, hollow echo of the water slipping into the cavern beside him and swooshing out, like a child using his finger to lick a honey pot. A comforting sound, soft and rhythmic.

God’s creation, a wondrous example of His faithfulness and patience. The sun always rose in the morning. The tide never failed to come and the night forever followed the day. Man could not control these things anymore than he could control God. And God no more desired to force His judgments upon man than He desired to destroy creation. Yet, when the last option was paid, He would. “Dear God, do not give up on her.”

Have I any pleasure at all that the wicked should die? Saith the Lord God: and not that he should return from his ways, and live?

Davis bowed his head, his heart slain by God’s words. “Lord, forgive me. How could I doubt you? Even as you scolded Ezekiel, so much more must I be taken to test for my lack of faith.”

For I have no pleasure in the death of him that dieth, saith the Lord GOD: wherefore turn yourselves, and live ye.

“Help her, Lord. Help her desire to change her heart.”

The spray of a wave rained down on his head. “And help me to love, even if the worst should come.”

“Mr. Owen,” someone called him from a distance.

He wiped the water from his face and stood.

“Mr. Owen, I’m glad I found you.” The young Joseph Easton scrambled down the embankment and tripped onto the rocky outcropping where Davis stood. “My father has taken ill. He can’t get out of bed, and he told me to fetch you to him. He needs a deputy he can trust.” The young man gasped for breath. “You must come quickly.”

“But I’m no deputy.”

“He’ll make you one.”

Could he do that? No matter. Time was short.

Davis followed the boy up the embankment and down the path toward the Easton house. “Surely there is someone else who would do the job.” He had no desire to be a lawman.

The young man ran ahead, not answering. The house came in view, and Joseph burst through the door. “He came, Father,” Joseph said when he crossed the threshold.

Davis stepped inside and closed the door behind him. President Easton lay on a bench by the fire, his face pale, and black circles surrounded his eyes.

“Good of you to come.” He coughed, pushed himself to a sitting position, and pointed for Davis to sit in the chair near him. “Joseph, bring me those papers on the cupboard there. That’s a boy.”

He took the papers, glanced at them, then handed them to Davis. “When last I spoke with the members of the Assembly, I commended you to them and spoke to them of your education in England. They agreed you had value for the colony. Then I pushed for them to prepare a special commission, should the time come when we would need such a man as yourself.”

“I do not understand.” Davis scanned the manuscript.

“Since Obadiah Holmes, as the court commissioner, must be away at this time, I need someone to help us.” He shifted on the bench as though it pained him to sit. “A ship sailed by, and I suspect the sailors will come into Newport. I need a strong man to help.” He shook his head. “Mr. Griffith’s own health is wavering. I cannot turn to him, but I am to you, and this letter of commission will give you the power to arrest as need be.”

Davis locked his jaw. “I cannot take this position. That ship, I believe is from the Griffith Shipping Company.”

Easton coughed and cleared his throat. “Still, you have the power to make arrests. It will not be long before Holmes will return and support you. All I wish is that you keep civility in our town.”

“But what need could there be of arrest?” Though the man posing as Pepys could be on the boat, Mr. Easton would not know of it. So, what other cause did Mr. Easton have for believing there would be a need for an arrest?

“In truth, I do not know. I only suspect. We’ve talked of the privateering. I need to be prepared for proof of this.”

“But to board the boat . . .”

“As partner, you have cause.”

So Easton did suspect the Griffith Shipping Company of privateering. And yet he would send a partner?

“I see you have doubts.” He shifted and his body trembled. “I know you are a man of integrity. And I am convinced you want this issued settled as swiftly as I. See this as an opportunity to clear the Griffith name.” He sighed. “I’m giving you and Mr. Griffith a chance to prove yourselves. Don’t push the opportunity aside. If someone else found pirated goods on your ship both you and Mr. Griffith would be placed under arrest and convicted.”

Easton spoke the truth. ‘Twas providence’s hand that gave them this grace. “I will do my best, sir.” Perhaps this will allow him opportunity to arrest the fake Baron Pepys.
__________________________________

Food For Thought

1. Romans 1:21-24 says:

"Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.
Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,
And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.
Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves:"

Mankind moves through a series of steps that brings him to a place where he completely rejects God and lives wholly for himself.

Josephine knows there is a God. However, in her anger and despair, she chose not to glorify Him, nor thank Him for the good that she had received. Now she finds herself in a situation where she doesn't seek God's counsel. She determines that her heart is evil and that God has given her over to it; therefore, she sets herself on a course that would lead her to a lifestyle she knows will be hurtful. She understands that course will lead to 'dishonouring' her own body.

I Corinthians 10:13 says:

"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it."

Josephine doesn't believe God will provide that way out, therefore she does not look for it.

Why would someone choose to take a destructive path or feel that it is the only direction they can take? Especially someone who has been taught truth?

2. Davis recalls Ezekiel 18:23.

"Have I any pleasure at all that the wicked should die? saith the Lord GOD: and not that he should return from his ways, and live?"

Some say that God chooses certain people and rejects others. Based on this verse, would you agree?

Davis also recalls Ezekiel 18:32.

"For I have no pleasure in the death of him that dieth, saith the Lord GOD: wherefore turn yourselves, and live ye."

Clearly God does not want anyone to perish. According to these verses and many others, God does not desire hell for anyone.

3. If God desires that no one will perish, then is Josephine right to assume she has no hope?

Hebrews 11:6 says:

"But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him."

Josephine believes God exists. Now she must believe that God will reward her with salvation if she seeks Him.

Fiction Friday: Dawn Over Narragansett Bay, ch. 37

2011-10-07T08:20:00.000-07:00

Today is Fiction Friday, and if you want to read more stories, click on over to Fiction Fusion.

If you haven't read the previous chapters of Dawn Over Narragansett Bay, Click here.

June, 1653 Newport, Rhode Island

____________________________________

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Davis held his quill right side up and cut the end.

War had been declared against the Narragansett Indians, but Massachusetts refused to raise her quota of troops.

A growl rumbled in Davis’s chest. 'Twas no wonder there were tensions between the Rhode Island colonists and the Massachusetts Bay Colony.

First Massachusetts declared war then they refuse to support it. This unfounded fear naturally increased tensions between the Indians and the English. Fortunately, any expedition against the Indians was abandoned. What havoc will this prejudiced fear produce?

He examined his cut on the quill.

Nathaniel’s chest pains had increased in severity incapacitating him some days and leaving much of the work to Davis . . . including penning this letter to Edward Bennett, Nathaniel’s uncle. The work did not bother Davis, but the fear for his partner’s health did. He had tried to protect Nathaniel from the bitter words of the colonists spoken against his shipping company as well as the accusations made by his Indian friends about the English. Alas, Nathaniel’s burden for the Indians had only caused him to bear their complaint personally.

A headache did not help. Davis set the quill down and rubbed his temples. How many more nights of little sleep before his own judgment weakened? He picked up the quill, a feather which weighed like lead in his tired hands. He made a little cut in the middle of it.

A letter from Dr. Clarke had arrived the first week in October expressing Sir Henry Vane’s interest in the welfare of Rhode Island. Sir Henry Vane had borne the markings of a traitor . . . until recent.

Agh. Men say women were fickle, but to look at changing political views, one could only conclude that men were worse. Sir Henry Vane was a deceiver, working against King Charles while acting as though he supported the king. How could Dr. Clarke trust such a man?

Davis made a slit in the quill. Not a perfect slit. He’d done better, but under the circumstances, it would do.

Now that he had a better understanding of the common people, perhaps he could accept Vane’s position. War caused many men to do things they would not otherwise do, turning honest men into liars and traitors into allies. Had he not seen it within his own family?

No matter . . . The news Dr. Clarke’s letter had brought could not give Davis peace. The coming of Cromwell’s rule felt no different than that of a king, and not the kind of king Davis desired to serve.

He lifted the quill to his finger and tested its strength. He’d need to be careful not to press too hard or the tip would snap.

Dr. Clarke had written of Thomas Harrison, a man whom Davis knew well. 'Twas Harrison who had fed his father with the notions of the Fifth Monarchists, and who had urged his uncle to send Davis to the colonies while hiding the fact that he had supported Cromwell’s regicide of King Charles.

More bitter deception. How could God tolerate such men?

His heart felt a prick. And he was no better for the deception he had worked. Pray God would have mercy and not let his own sins keep Josephine from turning to the Saviour.

Harrison, according to Dr. Clarke, had urged the Council of Officers to accelerate the coming of Christ’s kingdom by putting power in the hands of godly men.

Such hogwash. Dr. Clarke had feared the council’s perception of godly men would stir great trouble for the Baptists, who did not agree with this take on prophecy. He feared rightly.

Davis cut the nib of the pen away clean and nodded his approval.

Dr. Clarke had spoken truth. “A secular government can and must exist in peace with religion, but free from religious beliefs and practices.” If Cromwell were allowed to become Lord Protectorate, the good doctor feared England, and henceforth the colonies, would be no different than Germany where the Lutheran Church ran the country, wreaking havoc on any who opposed it.

Of course that would be so. Pray God, don’t let that be.

Cromwell’s attempt to bring a godly country would be no different than the Catholic leaders in France and most of Europe.

A maelstrom stirred in Davis’s gut resurrecting the desire to right the wrongs in Wales and England through his position and heritage. Lord, I know not what to do.

He laid down the quill and pressed his head into his hands. Josephine’s precious soul rushed to hell. And he was powerless to stop it . . . but God wasn’t. He had to remain faithful in prayer. And for that reason he must not give into the maelstrom pushing him to return to Wales. God wished none to perish, including Josephine. Then please, Lord, please save her.

He dipped the quill into the inkwell and squeezed it to keep his hand from trembling.

Tonight, he must pen a letter changing his destiny forever. Pray God, let Nathaniel’s uncle get word to my family, and let this letter convince my own uncle of the necessity to follow truth and not a dream.

When he had finished writing, he closed the letter with his signature as the door scraped open.

“Easton sent word that lights from a ship passed Block Island.” Nathaniel motioned Mistress Sarah and his mother through the door then closed it. “Could be Dutch, but I sense it is ours.”

Davis blotted his pen and laid it on the board. “Pepys?” Let it not be so.

“Aye, I think it must be.” Stress lined Nathaniel’s brow.

Those lines no doubt mirrored Davis’s face. He rubbed his forehead.

Sarah laid the sleeping babe in the crib, her face etched with concern, but she spoke not. Josephine’s absence had been hard on her.

It did no good to dwell on that. He focused on his partner. “What do you plan to do?” A dozen ideas formulated in Davis's mind, but he pushed them aside. Better to let Nathaniel determine the course of action. He, after all, was Josephine’s brother and Davis nothing in relation to her. Like a crab’s claw, the thought gripped his heart.

Nathaniel removed his cloak and took his seat at the head of the table. “My guess is he plans to sail to Wolf Island tonight, unload what is not on the ship’s manifest then sail into Newport come morning.” He leaned his elbows on the table and pressed his thumbs to his lips. “I have no course of action except to let things continue as though we suspect nothing. If something is missing from the manifest, we can lay charges. Perhaps Montague will have word for us.” He scratched his chin as his face paled. “Provided he made it alive.” He lowered his fists and studied the table.

“I’m confident he did.” Though in truth, Davis was as concerned as Nathaniel. He blew out. So focused was he on Josephine, he had not fully considered Montague’s possible plight.

“We’ll board the ship first chance and search it from stern to bow for any evidence proving Pepys is not who he says he is, though I find it difficult to believe that he would not have been discovered in Wales as the filibuster he is.”

“Yet we have not received any correspondence stating otherwise.” How could Pepys have fooled them? Surely someone would have noticed his deception. “Do you think Josephine is safe, with him sailing in . . . men, after being at sea for awhile . . .” Davis stood. “I could sail to Wolf Island tonight. One of our sloops is in port now. With a few men—”

“And Josephine would fight you tooth and nail.” Nathaniel shook his head. “No. She must come of her own volition. If we stole her home, she’d be miserable and run again.”

“We don’t know that for sure.” Davis’s muscles knotted across his shoulders. He closed his eyes and held the lump that formed in his throat in place. If only she would see how much he loved her, how he would make every effort to bring her happiness . . . but that would not save her soul. He must keep that in focus. It would do no good to gain her as wife on earth only to lose eternity with her.

“If she doesn’t have a change in her heart—” Sarah spoke in a hushed tone as she moved to the pot of stew steeping over the fire “—she will never be happy, no matter how much you do for her.”

Davis opened his eyes and smiled at Nathaniel’s wife, though it was a bitter smile. “I pray each moment of the day that she’ll have a change of heart.” Like God’s love for Israel, so he felt for Josephine. How God must have ached for His beloved.

“When Pepys returns, you will see to Josephine’s well-being.” Mistress Griffith settled into her rocking chair and clanked her needles together as she knit. “I believe her heart has had time to evaluate what she really wants. If I know my daughter, she will be glad to return.” She lowered her needles and peered up at Davis. “But will you want her when she brings with her the baggage of the world?”

He turned away from the woman’s piercing gaze and laid his hand on the mantel. Had he not made it clear that he would marry her even if she were with child, that there was nothing that would keep him from loving her? “I have committed my heart to her.”

“Mmm.” The chair squeaked in a regular rhythm as she rocked. Davis could almost hear her mind churning. “But are you willing to risk life as you know it in order to cleanse her in the eyes of the community?”

Of course. He was willing to die for her. How could Mistress Griffith think otherwise?

“To take another man’s wife is to commit adultery.” The needles stopped clinking.

“She’s not his wife.” His fists closed tight. And they all assumed she had become Pepys’s mistress. Had he not also thought the same? But Josephine’s own reaction when he visited her . . . no, Josephine had not committed such a sin.

“Perhaps not according to man’s law. But what makes a marriage is not the signing of a contract or the posting of banns. What makes a marriage is the union between a man and a woman.”

The blood drained from Davis’s face, and he pushed away from the fireplace.

The thickness of the air in the house smothered him. “I’ll check on the animals.”

# # #

Josephine kissed Little William’s forehead.

He closed his eyes and pushed his thumb into his mouth.

Tonight, perhaps, they would steal away from this wretched island. If they did not get away, what would Pepys do to her son? Odious acts, child slavery, training her son in the lascivious ways of a pirate . . . She gripped the sides of her dress. All this time, she’d been consumed with her own dangers, but if Pepys was this Jacques Montars and a pirate, then in what danger did he place Nathaniel and his family? Would he ruin her brother and the company?

Loud voices and the rakish whines of a bagpipe thrust through the floorboards and pulled on her nerves. If the Lord favored her tonight, in a matter of hours the men would be sprawled across the floors of the hall and the dining room sleeping off the rum and whiskey they consumed. She’d take her son, do what she could, die if she must, but her son would return to Nathaniel. She would get word Nathaniel about whom and what she believed the baron to be.

She pulled a blanket over Gin who had fallen asleep in front of the fireplace. The young woman’s dress curved around her growing abdomen. The heavy winter clothing hid her condition from most eyes, but it would not be long now before the size of her stomach would affect her movements. If Gin came, perhaps she could bear witness against the baron. Pray God, let it be so.

Running her hand over her husband’s Bible, Josephine settled into the chair.

Tonight, would God speak to her? Tonight, would she find hope? She grasped the leather cover with each hand and pulled open the book, letting the pages fall where they may, as had become her custom.

The noise of the sailors below became distant as the rustling of pages smothered their sounds.

She smoothed the open book and leaned forward to read from Jeremiah.

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? I the Lord search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to his doings.

She choked on the words. 'Twas speaking of her heart. It had deceived her, telling her to come to this island with the baron. Oh, what a fool she had been. She thought that coming would bring her happiness and freedom from Christian judgments. Instead, it had only brought her more sorrow. God saw her heart, and now she was being rewarded for her ways. A wicked and wretched heart had she, chasing after the riches of the world, using her own son as an excuse, when she had what was most important at home, with Nathaniel and Sarah and Mother.

And what of Davis? Would he consider her if she came back? Surely not . . . yet, had he not come for her in the summer?

But then, she had turned him away. He would have put her out of his mind by now.

God might grant her freedom from this island, she must not impose upon His mercy in requesting Davis as well. If only she had not been so proud. If she had not been so foolish, she and her son would not be in this grave danger.

The Bible slid from her lap and thudded on the floor.

She followed it, her heart breaking, shattering against the wall of pride she’d built around it. “Oh God, I am sorry. Please, please have mercy, if not for me than for my son, take us home.” Sobs rattled through her like the chains against the gates of hell. “I am so sorry.”

Her sobs drowned the noises of the nefarious world below.
_________________________________

Food For Thought

1. Davis believed Josephine was going to hell? Is hell a real place?

Read Luke 16:19-31, the story of Lazarus and the rich man.

There was a certain rich man, which was clothed in purple and fine linen, and fared sumptuously every day:
And there was a certain beggar named Lazarus, which was laid at his gate, full of sores,...And it came to pass, that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels into Abraham's bosom: the rich man also died, and was buried;
And in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom.
And he cried and said, Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus, that he may dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame. But Abraham said, Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime receivedst thy good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things: but now he is comforted, and thou art tormented. And beside all this, between us and you there is a great gulf fixed: so that they which would pass from hence to you cannot; neither can they pass to us, that would come from thence.
Then he said, I pray thee therefore, father, that thou wouldest send him to my father's house:...Abraham saith unto him, They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them.
And he said, Nay, father Abraham: but if one went unto them from the dead, they will repent.
And he said unto him, If they hear not Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded, though one rose from the dead.

Dawn Over Narragansett Bay, Chapter 36

2011-10-06T08:50:00.000-07:00

If you haven't read the previous chapters of Dawn Over Narragansett Bay, Click here.

June, 1653 Newport, Rhode Island

____________________________________

Chapter Thirty-Six

Josephine lifted the bandages from Pete’s side. His walnut skin appeared paler beneath the dressing. “It looks much better.”

“I’s glad his aim was poor.” Pete touched the curled skin around the wound. “I’s sorry, mistress. I should not have allowed that to happen.”

She waved away the words. “And what exactly could you have done? 'Twas my fault for putting you in that position. I'm so glad the shot only grazed your side and not something worse.” She closed the medicine chest. “Jib is evil.” And she was glad they found him out, for now she understood the danger she faced.

Her gaze moved over the sparse furniture and plain paneling of the bedchamber.

She had insisted Pete be moved into the manor. Jib had agreed, and now Sable and Pete stayed in the new wing. No doubt this made Jib’s job of watching them easier.

Since the incident on the beach, the sailors deemed the situation changed. No longer did Sable act as her body guard. Now a tall man named Pierre Picard stood watch over her, his long musket resting in the crook of his elbow, and his eyes ever studying her figure.

She rose from her chair and listened to the wind rattle the trees outside. “Pete, I fear another storm is coming.”

“Aye, mistress. I best help Sable get the animals in.” He shot Pierre a dark look and left the room.

A ribbon of soft light filtered through the crack in the shutters. It floated along a trail of dust and touched on the floor. ’Twould not be long before clouds cut the ribbon and darkness cloaked their island.

Josephine picked up the medicine chest and pulled back her shoulders. She’d not let the storm overwhelm her, not when the others depended on her to help them.

Pierre shot her a toothless grin as she walked by to exit the room. No doubt he enjoyed his new duty better than laying brick on the final wing of the house.

“Ah, Mistress Josephine.” Mary’s nasal voice drifted up the stairs.

Josephine bristled. This past week Mary had returned to the house and straightway the role of leadership changed. With the sailors under Mary's rule, they no longer kept a respectful distance from Josephine and the manor. In fact, one might call their actions mutiny, and now she be the captain held prisoner. She was fortunate they had not made her "walk the plank."

Now Josephine took orders from Mary, and Mary ruled the house staff. She hadn’t taken over Josephine’s room, thankfully, though Gin and Little William slept with her forthwith. 'Twas better that way. She feared for William, and Gin was becoming heavier about the waist. “What do you want?”

“You’ve tarried over that slave long enough. Is there not another of Pepys’ letters you need to read?”

Pepys’ correspondence with Josephine remained the one thing that Mary was not privy to. Pepys, or should she say Montars, seemed not to have trusted Mary enough to have her do this shifting of items. Perhaps in this Josephine might find a way of escape. She touched her fingers to the banister and glided down the stairs. “I will attend to that in time. First, I must put this chest away, and I wish to bring some food to my bedchamber. William, Gin, and I will dine in there tonight.”

Mary’s eyes narrowed, but she did not object.

Josephine swept past the woman.

The woman's stench and that of the hall overpowered all pleasant scents. The odor of tobacco clung to the woman’s clothes as did rum and some other smell—the same malodor that came from Jib. Though somewhat sweet, it was backed by a foul redolence.

Josephine held her chin up and struggled against the turmoil in her stomach. How long must she endure this before help came?

Empty jugs of rum littered the hall from the orgy the sailors had the night before. Since the incident at the beach, they had moved into the hall. The sailors cared not that they kept her awake until all hours of the night with their swearing and fights and other noises, nor did it escape her notice that their numbers seemed to multiply after dark.

“Do not be long.” Mary grabbed her arm. “And when ye get done doing Pepys’s bidding, ye’ll return to your room and stay there. Understand?”

“Why? Is it not the baron’s will that I run this household as though it were my own?”

The woman yanked her close so that her stinking breath wafted over Josephine like a dead carcass flung at her face. “You forfeited that luxury when you tried to escape.” She shoved Josephine away then plucked at the brass buttons on her dress. A dress, Josephine noted, that came from the chest Pepys had given her. “I’ll be entertaining tonight, and I don’t want ye interfering.”

Josephine gave her a curt nod and headed for the kitchen feeling completely repulsed by the thoughts this woman conjured up. Perhaps tonight she could slip out when the sailors were drunk and find a way home.

She pushed the kitchen door open and glanced over her shoulder.

Mary had moved up the stairs and now stood by Pierre Picard in a most flirtatious manner.

Better to get help now than wait for Pepys to return. What would he do when he finds out she tried to leave?

The image of his contorted face when he last left her flung before her mind’s eye sending a cold bolt shot down Josephine’s back.

Thunder rolled in the distance. The storm was nearer than she thought. She walked into the kitchen and nodded to the cook.

The bald man dropped a lobster into a large pot. He nodded to her then gave her a toothy grin.
“Jack, I’ll be taking our meal to my chamber tonight.” Josephine took a small loaf from the breadbox. What would Pepys do to Little William when he was done with her? Her mouth turned dry. God, in Your mercy, please protect us.
_____________________________________

Food For Thought

1. Proverbs 1:10 says, "My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not."

When the Baron Pepys enticed Josephine with hope of a future for herself and her son, she pushed aside any misgivings she had of the man and accepted a position as his housekeeper. She did not calculate on him continuing to seduce her. She even excused his seduction as simply being a part of his lifestyle, not evil. Now she knows the kind of man he is and she's caught in his web of evil.

At what point should Josephine have resisted the Baron Pepys? When he offered her gifts in her brother's home? When he offered her the position as housekeeper?

2. Proverbs 1:18-19a says:

"And they lay wait for their own blood; they lurk privily for their own lives. So are the ways of every one that is greedy of gain;"

Josephine thought she was after a secure future. She had turned her back on God and made decisions based on her desires. Was she wrong to want security? What price did she pay for what she hoped to gain?

3. Have you, at any time in your life chosen to cast your lot in with people you knew were only trouble, perhaps toying with illegal drugs or drinking heavily or enjoying the seduction of another just for the thrill? What grief did it bring you? Was it worth the price? Did you lose anything by it?

Proverbs 1:7a says, "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge." When you decide to follow the crowd, when you let that boy take more from you than he should, when you lie to get something you want, are you fearing God?

In Proverbs 1:27-32 wisdom says, "When your fear cometh as desolation, and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress and anguish cometh upon you. Then shall they call upon me, but I will not answer; they shall seek me early, but they shall not find me: For that they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the Lord:...Therefore shall they eat of the fruit of their own way, and be filled with their own devices. For the turning away of the simple shall slay them, and the prosperity of fools shall destroy them."

Josephine is caught. She is now eating the fruit of her decisions and the prosperity she thought she'd have is now destroying her. How can she escape?

Dawn Over Narragansett Bay, Ch. 35

2011-10-05T10:39:00.000-07:00

If you haven't read the previous chapters of Dawn Over Narragansett Bay, Click here.

June, 1653 Newport, Rhode Island

____________________________________

Chapter Thirty-Five

“Mistress, are you sure what you saw was the slave auction bill of sale?” Pete spoke in hushed tones as he scoped the surrounding woods.

“No, I can’t be sure. I don’t read French, but I am as certain as I can be. I see no other reason for Gin’s and Sable’s names to be on a document. And this Jacques Montar, he must be Pepys.”

Pete laid his hand over her mouth, startling her. “Hush, mistress. To say that name will bring certain death on all of us.”

She shook him free. “Why?” Clearly though, it concerned him. He would never have touched her, otherwise.

He pulled her deeper into the undergrowth. “The master’s men have orders to kill anyone who dares to even whisper that name.”

“But—”

He silenced her again with his hand. “Please, mistress, if ye care any for this old slave, you’ll not say that name again.” His black eyes narrowed.

Indeed, she wished him no discomfort, but to be sure, she’d find the meaning of this name. After much consideration through the night—words Davis had said, inconsistencies surrounding the baron, particularly in his use of French, lies she had allowed herself to believe—these convinced her Montars was Pepys. But why would he bother to pose as the baron? “All right then, I won’t. But I am going to Providence, with or without you.”

“Nay, I cannot let you.”

“You cannot stop me.” She pushed past him and started toward the log where she hid the chest the night before. “Go, get Sable, and ready a boat for me. We’ll leave after dark.”

“They’ll ask questions, wonder why I’s do this.”

“Tell them the mistress wants to see the sunset on the open sea. We’ll sail out of view. Then when night falls, we’ll go up the bay to Providence.”

“It is a dangerous journey. They’ll find it suspicious if you don’t return after the sun sets . . . and the Dutch run their ships through that strait. If you do not fear them, then fear those ships that are not Dutch. They serve no noble purpose.”

“Lord willing, we’ll be in Providence and under the protection of the law without harm by morning.” She gave him a slight shove. “Go. If you’ll not help me, I’ll find another way.”

His mouth pulled straight. “Aye, I’ll help ye, mistress. It’s foolhardy, but I’ll help you, best I can.”

In minutes, Josephine tucked the bill of sale into her bodice and pressed her composure into place. Tonight, she must succeed. Though her skin tingled with the same fear as that of a mouse under the scrutiny of a hawk, she strolled with nonchalance down the path to the house.

# # #

The sun lowered to just above the western horizon when Josephine wrapped a blanket around Little William. She waved Gin on, and they pattered across the meadow then scooted down the hill toward the small sloop tossing on the waves just a little off shore. Pete stood by a rowboat a few feet ahead. She waved to him.

He didn’t wave back. She touched the paper hidden in her bodice.

As she neared the boat, she saw a movement behind the large African.

‘Twas, Jib. That small sailor was as mean as a rabid wolf.

She slowed her pace. His presence could only mean trouble. “Good evening, Jib. Are you going to help me see the sunset from the ocean tonight?”

He curled his lip up. “You’ll be goin’ nowhere this night, mistress.” He brought his pistol out from Pete’s form then put it back in place. “Now, ye’ll hand over that paper you stole from the baron’s chest then head back up that hill, and no one will git hurt.”

How could he have found out? “You’ll not do this, Jib.”

The man looked up and down the height of her. “I’ll do as I please. And today, I could please to find the paper on your person me-self.” He moved forward.

She stepped back and a sickening realization of her jeopardy washed over her. Those eyes she felt watching her over the weeks must have been Jib’s.

“You best do as he says.” Pete’s deep voice trembled.

Josephine drew the paper from her bodice.

Water lapped at her feet.

She could try to overpower Jib.

But he had a gun.

She did not. Someone might get hurt.

Jib snatched the paper from her hand. “Ye spoiled my fun.” He laughed and a familiar scent came from his mouth. It painted a memory of a dark night and the feelings of intense fear and pain.

Josephine drew back gasping for breath. Dear God, Dear God, I know that scent. She couldn’t quite place the odor nor the laugh, but it sent her mind to whirling and a cold sweat broke over her brow.

“Aye, I see you might be remembering something.” He crowed. “I’ve waited a long time to bring you to such remembrance.” He stretched his hand to her face, but it was jerked away by a large black hand.

Jib swung around and fired the pistol into Pete’s stomach.

“No!” Josephine screamed and started for Pete.

Jib grabbed her waist and knocked her to her seat.

“You brute.” She glared at him.

Little William’s wails rose above Gin’s, and Josephine looked his way. God help us.

Jib grabbed her arms and bent her face down to the ground. “Let that be a lesson to you, wench.”

Pain shot through her back as she watched Gin snatch her son and start for the hill.

“You’ll not leave this island until Baron Pepys returns, or another one of your precious slaves will be shot.”

“Mamma.” The boy’s panicked voice echoed against the cliff.

“Run, son!” Josephine cried then shoved at the man.

He pressed her down further.

She could hear Gin scrambling up the path.

His hands clamored over her body as he rolled her onto her back. “I could do what I like.” He wiped the drool from his chin, “And I like to keep my share of Pepys’ earnings, so you’ll live today, untouched. But I’m quite certain things will not always stay that way.” He stepped on her stomach, and walked away.

She grabbed her abdomen and gasped for breath, shuddering at a vague memory.

“Until then, remember, you may wear the title of mistress, but we sailors are under Pepys’s orders and have the upper hand.” He spat on the sand then pushed the rowboat into the water.

That voice. It came from the past. It rang in her memories and mocked her. But she would not let it rule her. She pushed onto her hands and knees and crawled toward Pete.

Blood streamed from his side, but his eyes still moved.

“Pete.” She brushed the sand from his cheek. Don’t let him die. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t listen to you.”

He coughed. “Sable . . .”

“Is he on the sloop?” No doubt Jib would tell the men on the sloop her plan, turning them against her as well. There’d be no one left except Gin, Sable, and Pete to trust.

“No, they sent him away.” He clenched his side and scrunched his face. “Told him some cows escaped.”

“Gin,” she cried after her friend who now stood above them on the cliff. “Get Sable.”

The girl ran for her brother, clutching Little William to her.

Dear God, rescue us.

____________________________

Food For Thought

1. Sometimes the road back to the Lord takes you to mountains you feel you cannot climb. Josephine now understands the type of man Baron Pepys is, and she knows she must rectify her mistakes. What spiritual barriers does she still have to overcome?

2. After years of captivity, God enabled the Israelites to return to rebuild Jerusalem and the temple. Yet, they're return to the Lord was not perfect. In Ezra 9, the princes came to Ezra and sad that the people, the priests, and the Levites had not separated themselves from the people of the land. They had married into the other nations. Ezra ripped his garments and plucked the hair from his head and beard. He knew the sins of the Israelites were great. Yet, these people, having experienced God's wrath, determined to repent no matter the cost, and that repentance would cost them greatly. Read Ezra 10:3-4.

"Now therefore let us make a covenant with our God to put away all the wives, and such as are born of them,...Arise; for this matter belongeth unto the: we also will be with thee: be of good courage, and do it."

The people did what they promised to do. Such a great price to pay for disobeying God.

The road back to being God's holy people was not easy. They paid a tremendous price for their disobedience, and so did the women and children they had separate themselves from. Let's not fool ourselves. When we sin, when we disobey God, we affect more than ourselves.

How did Josephine's rash and foolish decisions both in this chapter and in early chapters affect those around her?

3. When we are truly repentant of our sins, we may still pay a price, but we will also see God's mercy. God protected the Israelites and enabled them to rebuild Jerusalem and the temple. He could have destroyed them, but He chose to have mercy on them.

Mercy is often misunderstood. People plead for mercy when what they really want is to escape the consequences of their sin. They are not truly sorry for what they have done. Mercy doesn't require our repentance. It is extended to us out of God's kindness to us. We don't deserve it. We can't earn it. He gives it as He wills and to whom He wills.

"So then it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy." Romans 9:16

However, God gives mercy to those who humble themselves and repent.

"Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon." Isaiah 55:7

What happens when we look at someone else and compare their lives and the trouble they may or may not receive with our own?

We do not have the eyes of God nor the mind of God. We cannot make the judgments God can make. To look at someone else's problems and determine what they should or should not experience is putting ourselves in the place of God. That is wrong. It is pride. We need to stop looking at what others do or do not receive at the hand of God and consider our own relationship with Him. What do we need to do to improve it?

Fiction Friday, Dawn Over Narragansett Bay ch. 34

2011-09-30T09:33:00.000-07:00

____________________________________

Chapter Thirty-Four

“Another Dutch ship was captured last day.” Easton strode down the path with all the anger of a rooster bent on protecting his territory.

Nathaniel straightened and rubbed his hip. For a fortnight, Davis and he had been building a pen for the cattle which were to be loaded on the next ship for Virginia. Each day, however, their work was halted by someone coming to complain against his company.

He set his shovel down. Would it never end? “And how be ye today, good sir?”

The sea wind brought the taste of saltwater and the scent of Easton’s eau de toilet when he stopped his march with his nose inches in front of Nathaniel’s. “Pray tell me, did you not mean to abide by the edict when your partner suggested it?”

Nathaniel lifted his hands and stepped back, his boots smooshing the wet soil he just dug. “Mr. Easton, you thinks me foolish? Why would I remain here, yet command my ships to do something that would surely incite the law against me?” His chest tightened. He rubbed it and coughed.

Easton blew through his pursed lips. “Nay, I don’t think ye a fool.”

“How did you gain this news?”

“Seems a Dutchman was found floating on a plank near Block Island. He said his ship, battered by a storm, was attacked by another ship.” Easton frowned. “I confess his description matched that more of a French ship than of your company’s. The guns, he said, were carried higher than most, and the stern was magnificently sculptured.”

Discomfort rose up Nathaniel’s back and down his left arm. “Seems the French are bent to increase the tensions between the English and the Dutch.” Pray it not be Pepys’s ship.

Seagulls called to one another in the distance. Several fluttered up from their perch on the rocks.

Nathaniel scanned the meadow before picking up his musket.

Easton’s brow creased then he slapped a mosquito against his cheek. “Aye, but is not one of your ships due in port any day now?”

Nathaniel coughed. The tension in his chest slackened. “’Tis due, yes, but I fear it will be late.” He frowned. “I do not deny I am concerned about the increase in privateering in our waters.”

A rabbit shot across the path, startling his tethered horse.

“We have no warships in our colony to govern our local seas. Perhaps it is time we consider requesting some protection from the British Navy,” Nathaniel said while he took aim at the rabbit.

It scurried into the brush and hid.

“I fear we’re not in a position for that.” Easton’s gaze also followed the rabbit’s path.

Nathaniel took a deep breath and lowered his musket. True, the rogue colony did not have the favor of the State. “If we could convince London of the importance of our port, perhaps they’d be more willing to give us protection.”

Easton shook his head. "By the grace of God, Rhode Island exists as a place to corral all those who oppose the government, the religion, and whoever is in power. This serves our people well until we needed protection."

"Still, we are citizens of England."

“I’ll send a letter to Dr. Clarke and Roger Williams. Perhaps they can manage it.” Easton looked across the bay. “Do ye know when the next ship leaves?”

Nathaniel scanned the pen he had been working on before his neighbor came. “I have one due to sail the end of the week, as soon as Mr. Gould sends down his cattle. That one sails to Virginia and then to London.”

“I’ll be by with the letter on Friday, then.” Easton pivoted away and marched back down the path to Newport.

Nathaniel leaned on his musket, and the tension in his back and neck loosened. To be sure, this would not be the last of these confrontations. Would that he could sail without getting sick. Then he’d monitor the seas himself. But then other things and people would suffer for his absence. Ah, if he could be left to farm, and Davis to manage the business. Someday perhaps.

He lifted his gaze to the sky. Best praise the Lord for what he did have and pray God would provide the rest.

Dark clouds formed the rounded edge of a storm several miles off the coast. No doubt they’d feel the fury of it within hours.

He peered in the direction of Wolf Island, and a sharp pain jabbed his chest. Since Josephine left, there’d been no more looting. Rumors still circulated about her part in the robberies. Rumors started by Pepys’s men. Only a few people believed them. Still, if Josephine knew of them, she’d not come home. Her pride would not let her. How long would she stay away before she came to her senses? Had life been so miserable for her with them?

Shaking his head, he returned to his post. Prayer was all he knew to do, and pray he would.

###

. . . yet return again to me, saith the LORD.

Those words haunted Josephine for nigh a fortnight.

At first they were shadowed by the accusation she was a harlot. Could it be true that God wanted her to come to Him?

The Puritans spoke of being among the chosen.

With all that had happened to her, clearly God had not chosen her. Would He help her anyway? Would He have such mercy? Beloved, speak to Him for me.

She pushed open the door to Pepys’s bedchamber. Here, so his letter said, would be the next small box of important merchandise requiring a ‘safe keeping.’

Her hand trembled against the door handle. Not yet had she the courage to open one of the boxes. But this eve would be different.

With care she slipped through the door, shivering as it scraped against the floor. Tonight no eyes had followed her when she came down the stairs.

The wind howled outside, a fierce storm now making landfall.

She lifted the corner of her mouth in a crooked smile. A hurricane had not been a part of Pepys’s plans, no doubt.

The surge of the sea and the look of the sky had prompted the sailors to board the windows of the manor and seal up the new wing. Hurricane stories rippled through conversations increasing in size like the sea's waves. By nightfall, the first of the rain came, and they had scurried to their shelter by the woods. Only Sable and Pete had remained in the manor, along with Gin who now slept in Little William’s room.

The candle in Josephine's hand wavered, sending ripples of light against the wall and on the burgundy coverlet that lay on the bed.

She’d not been in Pepys’s room before. It echoed his voice and filled her senses with his smell.

Her stomach rose, and she drew a long breath to push it down. With the windows boarded and the door closed, no one could possibly be watching her. She had no reason to fear, and so tonight she could open this new chest.

Setting the candle on the table, she listened to the whistle of the wind as it blew through the trees outside. Some branches clattered against the house, accelerating her heart rate.

The letter said a board in the floor under his bed could be lifted and the box would lie therein.

She lifted the edge of the coverlet. It was the softest material she’d ever felt. What would it be like to sleep beneath it? She extended her arm into the dark recesses under the bed ropes. Her fingers ran along the floorboards, feeling for any edge that might indicate a loose board. They hit the side of one.

Rough.

She could feel the slivers on her finger tips. Shuffling closer and bringing her shoulder beneath the bed, she positioned herself to heft the board from its place.

It grunted at her, yet shifted.

She let out a long breath, squeezed her eyes closed, and inched further under the bed in order to grasp the wood box beneath the board.

It skidded to the side.

She stretched her fingers and hooked them around the box.

It tipped up and wobbled into her hand.

She pulled it out and wiggled to the open space of the room.

Dust floated through the light.

She sneezed then held her breath, listening for any movement in the house.

Trees creaked outside. Rain splattered against the wood, and the wind blustered about the manor, but no human sound could be heard.

Releasing her breath, she dragged the box onto her lap, and pulled the lamp close. Her fingers tingled while she held the box between her hands.

It was light and nondescript.

What could Pepys be hiding?

Reaching into her cloak’s pocket, she gripped a small bar. Pray God, let this be strong enough to break the hinge and open the box.

It took some effort, but soon the hinge broke loose.

She bit her lip and lifted the lid.

Folded papers lay inside. Some appeared to be Bills of Exchange.

She opened one folded paper and tried to read it. ‘Twas in some foreign language, probably French. She scanned the page for anything that might make sense.

At the top of the note were the words: Nantes, France. The only other words were Gin, Sable, and the name Jacques Montars.

Could this be a Slave Auction Bill of Sale? She clutched it to her stomach. Could she somehow free Gin and Sable with this document? Likely not, but it would be valuable in proving Pepys held slaves against the law the Court of Election passed in May the previous year. Perhaps, if she could get this to them, the court would give Gin and Sable their freedom. After all, this Jacques Montars was not there to claim them.

Nevertheless, if she didn’t place the chest in the prescribed ‘safe place,’ Pepys’s men would know. She felt certain that someone marked her whereabouts the nights she was to move a chest.

She pushed the paper back in and closed the lid then pressed the hinges back into place, Please God, let no one would notice they’d been pried off.

Rain thundered against the manor.

She pulled her hood over her head and pushed open the back door then slipped outside.

In seconds, her cloak was soaked despite the care she’d taken to oil it. ‘Twas a waterfall, not rain.

Looking furtively around her, she darted across the lawn, and sprinted through the woods to the designated location.

After placing the box beneath the log Pepys had described in his letter, she bent low to the wind and hurried back to the manor. Please God, let the box or the papers not disappear before I can escape the isle and get them to Court of Election in Providence. But first, she needed to find a way to get to there.

________________________________________

Food for Thought

1. Hebrews 11:6 says, “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”

Josephine believes God exists, but she does not know that God will ‘reward’ her with salvation if she seeks Him. How can we know that God will save us if we seek him?

Matthew 6:33 says, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”

In context of the sermon, this passage is for those who are Jesus’ disciples, and the things added are the physical needs a person has, but I believe it is all right to assume Jesus would say the same of our spiritual needs.

Romans 10:13 says, “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” If you are calling, you are seeking.

2. Who does God say He will save? Read John 3:16-17.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.”

Read II Peter 3:9.

“The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.”

3. How does Josephine demonstrate that she is beginning to seek God?

Dawn Over Narragansett Bay, Chapter 32 & 33

2011-09-29T10:30:00.000-07:00

***NOTE*** I apologize for being rather irregular these past few months with my posts. I'd like to say it will improve...that's the plan. To make up for missing Tuesday, I'll be posting two chapters today.

Dawn Over Narragansett Bay will soon be wrapping up. When it is over with, I will be planning a break from blogging to catch up on some of the things that have been left undone for too long. When I return, I hope to have another story for you to read--one set in the dark ages. More on that at a later date. For now, I hope you enjoy this chapter.

If you haven't read the previous chapters of Dawn Over Narragansett Bay, Click here.

June, 1653 Newport, Rhode Island

____________________________________

Chapter Thirty-Two

Josephine tiptoed cross the baron’s private study and bolted the door. She crept to the large mahogany desk, pressing her skirts to her legs to keep them from rustling.

Voices in the grounds below drifted through the walls. Rakish voices of men drunk on rum. They’d not come into the house until morning, but that knowledge did not ease her fears.

She ran her hand over Pepys’ desk. This room did give her seclusion from the prying eyes of Mary and Pepys’s men. There was comfort in that.

The scent of tobacco smoke still lingered in the room. Before it had provoked fond memories, but now it stank.

On the desk sat the open box of Pepys’s letters of instruction. She picked up a parchment paper and laid it out flat.

After Nathaniel and Davis departed, she had kept looking at the pearl necklace she wore as though it would give her answers. The baron hadn’t mentioned it as being one of the stolen pieces, only the ruby. Perhaps he didn’t know . . . but her gut told her otherwise.

Tonight she would read each letter, defying Pepys’s orders to only open one a week. Perhaps she could find something that would revel what his plans were.

She stared at the paper in her hand but the words blurred.

Angry shouts outside. A pistol shot. Bellows of laughter from the garden.

If she were to learn what the baron was up to, she must focus and not let her thoughts wander.

Dear Josephine,

Each day I shall close my eyes and picture your beauty before me. I will hold back tears of loneliness only because they would dampen my time away from you.

Dear lady, tonight you must take the small chest hidden behind the fifth brick above the center of the mantel in the Great Hall. You’ll know it by the letter ‘M’, as I have marked the other hiding places. Take the chest to the North Beach and hide it in the hollow of a large log branded with the letter ‘P’.

My love, soon I will be home and in your arms. Our love will deepen in richness as its fruits play at our feet. And I will begin the education of your son. Would you not want him taught by the finest tutors or perhaps in the finest school in London?

Josephine’s stomach lurched, and she put her hand over her mouth. Had he really thought he could win her with this?

The parchment slipped from between her fingers and drifted to the desk.

He nearly had won her. “Oh Beloved William, how I have shamed you.”

She pushed the letter aside and reach for another. Perhaps after reading each one she might learn the reason for these moves.

Each letter requested that she move a small chest from one location in the manor to some place on the island, usually near a beach. And each move was to be done on a specific date. Could it be possible they were picked up by someone? Perhaps as payment?

After finishing the letters, she leaned back in the chair.

The voices outside moved further way as the men romped like baboons to their shelters by the barn.

‘Twas good she learned of the baron’s evil before she was so caught in his web of lies that she could not be broken free. Now, she must work to escape his lair.

Another shot in the distance. A familiar noise now. As familiar as the sound of waves against rock.

She closed the box and returned it to its hiding place. She’d carry on his instructions, but with open eyes. Perhaps she will find some solid evidence that would convince the magistrates of Pepys’s evil. Perhaps it would be enough to free her and her son . . . and Gin and the other slaves from this wretched man’s clutches.

# # #

The weeks passed into fall and each day Davis’s prayers lifted Josephine to the only One who could help her. Often, when the sun would set, he’d look across the bay to the small island and fight the desire to swim to her. If only she would have listened to him. If only he had not talked as though she were with child. If only he hadn’t allowed himself to believe it.

He stood now, at the tip of Aquidneck Island, well below the town of Newport, and breathed in the salt air. The Griffiths had returned home from afternoon service, but Davis had ridden to his favorite Sunday spot, a rock overlooking the vast ocean and the opening of Narragansett Bay. He’d come here nigh ten weeks now, every Sunday since they returned from visiting Josephine.

Lowering himself to the rock, he pulled out his knife and a stick and began to whittle.

By now, Pepys’ ship should have reached Wales, switched cargo, and might even be on its way back. Nathaniel had sent a letter to his uncle on a ship the week immediately following Pepys’s departure. If all went as planned, the imposter would have been arrested and hanged by now.
But all of that did not solve the problem with Josephine.

A seagull called to another then dove to the water, skimming it before shooting up to the blue sky.

Would she be devastated if Pepys never returned? Did she love him? 'Twould be better for her if he was hanged in Wales as a pirate, but she’d likely hate Nathaniel and Davis for it. Still, 'twas better she hate them then suffer at the hands of the scoundrel. But what would become of her? If she returned to Newport, she’d be treated as a prostitute.

The stick began to take shape, a horse of hickory. Perhaps he could make some paint to give it color.

He laid his hands on his lap and sighed as he scanned the waters. Each day he prayed God would give him release to bring Josephine back as his wife. ’Twould be the only way for her to escape judgment. Every week passed with no ability to act. She’d not come back willingly, and there would be no point in upsetting her now. At least for now on Wolf Island she was safe. The men, Pete and Sable, would make certain of that.

What was it that Pete had said with every bit of fierceness an ox like him could muster? “You not be comin’ back to bother the mistress none. She’d been the best thing that’s ever happened to this old soul.”

Davis chuckled. Pete didn’t seem like an old soul, but he’d wager Pete was as wise as one. No. God had sent her a guardian angel in him, but could the old African stand up to Pepys and his men? He’d die trying. Davis felt confident of that.

He lifted the wooden horse and made a defining cut along the jaw. If the Lord allowed, Little William would soon play with it, along with the collection of other wooden figurines he had carved of late. How long before that could happen?

If Pepys did not show, or no word came from him by mid December, Davis determined to venture across the bay to the island. By then, Montague would have returned on a different ship. With him and Nathaniel, perhaps they could convince Josephine to come home. Until then, he would continue to pray and to whittle.

# # #

Josephine pulled the hood over her head, fighting the wind, which insisted the covering should not be worn.

She glanced over her shoulder to see Gin leading Little William back to the house for a bath and bed. Beloved, do you see how handsome your son is? Or do you only see my failings to not protect him or those in my charge?

Pete’s bass voice rode the wind from the beach below.

It brushed her with a stroke of peace. Since learning of Gin’s condition, Josephine had taken great care to keep the girl from overworking.

Mary, however, had not been so considerate. The woman was a thorn in Josephine’s side.

She lifted her head to the wind. “Beloved, if you had lived, I would not be in this mess.” But if she had not told her father, William would not have been killed in the fire.

The salt air entered her mouth and augmented the thirst in her soul. The familiar twinge in her chest threatened to consume her.

Moist air wrapped about her, and she tightened her grip at the front of her cloak.

Much to the Mary’s chagrin, Josephine had insisted that Gin take over the care of Little William. “Beloved, Gin's very kind and loves him like her own son. I can tell.”

'Twas a much better arrangement, and after catching Mary flirting with one of those sailors left to work on the manor, she’d have it no other way. Mary called her a Puritan prig. And for once, such a sneer actually made her feel proud of her heritage.

She laughed. “Can you believe it, William? Me, a Puritan prig. But you’d not be happy with even that. You sought freedom. You found freedom, but left me in captivity.”

A Northern Harrier dove down to the meadow and rose again with its prey squirming in its hooked bill.

She ran her hand over the cotton cloth covering her bosom. The captivity she was in now, that was her own doing.

Since her brother’s visit, Josephine had sewn kerchiefs and lace on her dresses to raise the neckline to a modest level. She saw no harm in the rest of the gowns’ appearances, but changing that one area gave her considerable peace. “It would make you happy, Beloved.”

She had tried to make Mary do the same. The woman would not. In the end, Mary disappeared into the woods. One of the men told her that Mary had taken over an old wigwam. At first Josephine was concerned for the woman’s care, but it seemed the sailors were making sure her needs were met. For some reason, the ugly woman seemed to have a hold on all the men. They both feared her and were in awe of her. “It frightens me, a little.”

The coo-coo-coo of a Least Bittern drew her attention to the reeds across the brook. The small heron poked its yellow bill between cattails and bobbed his head before calling again.

Josephine settled down on a rock by the waterfall then wrapped her skirt about her legs. She set William’s Bible on her lap. “Is it possible to commune with you, my love, without regret? At least with the memories of you?”

Behind her, she sensed the presence of Sable. Staff in hand, he was likely guiding the goats back to their pen. Ever faithful Sable. One of Pepys’ slaves left to care for the animals, and oddly enough, her as well. He was her body guard. Larger than any of the other men on the island, with one slight blow of his hand he could knock a sailor down.

At first he scared her, so fierce was the anger in his eyes. The anger began to fade some before Pepys left, and after Gin’s confession, it dissipated completely when he looked at Josephine.

She licked her lips, tasting the juice from the berries she’d eaten with William and Gin. She had learned that Gin was Sable’s sister. Pepys used Gin as a way to keep Sable in line. Sable obeyed in order to keep Gin from getting whipped, or worse. “Beloved, you did not have that regard for me or you would not have gone to that Baptist meeting where you died . . .” A tear of bitterness clung to her eye. She squeezed it away. ‘Twas no good to let such feelings latch on to her.

Josephine caressed the Bible on her lap.

The smooth leather was cool to her touch.

Each of the nine Sundays since Gin’s confession Josephine had brought William’s Bible to this spot. Often all she would do was hold it, press it against her as though trying to hold her husband, and weep. How she missed him.

Last week, she let it fall open to Isaiah.

"Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool."

Those words had brought tears to her eyes, and she had cried in that spot until morning.

“Is that what this book does? Condemn? Yet, William, you did not treat me that way. It was your love that gave me reason to live . . . but you took it away when you died.” Now she was left to fend for herself and her son, to find a way through this mess she had created by her own foolishness.

With a blast, the wind thrust the smell of seaweed at her, and she turned her face away.

Tonight, the letter of instruction Pepys had left in the box for her to follow gave her much concern. There seemed no reason to the moves of these small chests, though most times the new location was near the shoreline. On occasion she noticed a ship in the distance, and on other occasions she was certain she was being followed. In fact, she had no doubt she was being watched. Yet the reason for these moves eluded her. Perhaps she should return to the spots and open the small boxes. What was Pepys hiding in them anyway? Not likely were they merchandise for the West Indies, as he had led her to believe.

She could send Pete or Sable to Newport and have Nathaniel come, but if Pepys’s report of the accusations against her were true, she might be endangering Nathaniel. The magistrates might convict her brother of being a thief as well. And she and her son could be in danger if left without the slaves’ protection. No. She had only one choice—to gather as much information as possible against the baron. She’d confront him with it and force him to break ties with Nathaniel. If Pepys left, and never returned, perhaps things could return to normal.

Well, not quite normal. Could she really return to her family if Davis was there? “Beloved, you would have liked him.”

Davis’s face appeared in her dreams as often as William’s did now. While her dreams of William always had her husband leaving her, the dreams of Davis had him calling to her, but she was unable to get to him.

A golden eagle soared above her, his golden feathers glistening in the sun. It turned to the east and flew below the top of the cliff. Likely settling into its nest Josephine and Little William had found just last week. Then the eagle zoomed straight up, flapped its wings, and flew in a frenzied circle as though lost or confused before diving and disappearing again to the beaches below.

Davis confused her. He refused to marry her, but when he thought he’d lose her to Pepys, he begged her to marry him. If only she had.

She snorted. “But I lived with you, Beloved, a man of faith . . . faith so strong you were willing to die for it. I could not bear to lose another husband to such faith.” She squeezed tight her eyes. “Our marriage was beautiful.”

She pressed her fist into her lap. But their marriage had its burdens, and it ended in tragedy.

Davis had no one persecuting him. Nonetheless, if he could not allow himself to marry her even when he loved her—which she was convinced he did—because his faith would not allow it, what else would his faith demand from her? Would he be as rigid as the Puritans? Could she have lived with such?

She sighed and pushed open the Bible. No sense in worrying about ‘what ifs.’

The pages slid to the book of Jeremiah.

“These words, Beloved, how does one gain understanding of them? I’ve sat through church services for years, yet none of it ever made sense.” She ran her finger past the word ‘wife’ as she began to close the book and paused.

"They say, If a man put away his wife, and she go from him, and become another man’s shall he return unto her again? Shall not that land be greatly polluted? But thou hast played the harlot with many lovers; yet return again to me, saith the LORD."

She thrust the Bible from her lap and pulled her knees up to her chin.

First that man raped her when she ran from her father.

Yet William married her.

Was she a harlot, as her father had claimed?

God took William and Andrew away in the fire. Then her father. For two years she had lamented.

She threw herself at Davis, and Davis rejected her.

And then she went with Pepys, begging him to marry her.

She had played the role of a harlot, throwing herself at every man. “Oh, William, what have I done?”

The piercing cry of a hawk sliced through the air and slashed from her ears to her heart.

How close she had come to such a disastrous relationship with Pepys.

The hawk’s cry was answered by another, closer, sharper, more dangerous.

"Did God consider me a harlot after the rape?" Was that why she was not allowed happiness?
Sobs came without tears. Would that she could redeem herself to God for the evil she had done.
_______________________________

Chapter Thirty-Three

“Mr. Griffith, we all are aware of your friendship with the Indians, but you must recognize they are a fickle race. I, for one, am convinced they will side with the Dutch.” President Easton’s cheeks puffed out several times like white billows against the dark wood of the Meetinghouse entrance.

Davis stood behind Nathaniel and frowned. Times of war brought out the best and the worst of men. No doubt Easton felt the pains of leading a rogue colony and having to deal with the accusations of pirating against his good citizens from those in Massachusetts. But did that justify his prejudice against the Indians? Then again, Davis had sensed similar consternation in his father during Cromwell’s campaigns.

Hold close the ranks and assume any unknown is the enemy.

His father’s voice still resonated in Davis as it once did through the Welsh valley below their castle.

“Captain Hull acted upon his own volition, under the commission of Governor Coddington, when he captured the French ship.” Nathaniel’s fists tightened. “He’s not even sailing one of our ships.”

Pray, Lord, don’t let Nathaniel’s temper get the better of him. Davis resisted laying a hand on Nathaniel’s shoulder. Tensions were running high in Newport, what with the war and now these accusations of privateering from Massachusetts, a colony from which most of the freemen of Rhode Island had already endured more than enough trials.

“I received a report at the first of the summer of a Dutch ship captured by a privateer in our own Narragansett Bay.” Easton’s eyes narrowed as they cut to Nathaniel.

“And what does this have to do with me?” The artery in Nathaniel’s neck throbbed. Still, his fists were no longer clenched. Perhaps his temper was in check.

Davis had witnessed a similar control in his father when confronted by Colonel Thomas Pride about his royalist position.

“’Twas said it was one of your ships that captured it.” Easton glanced away, as though he doubted the accusation. His foot tapped the rough plank beneath it.

Nathaniel paled, yet he did not change his firm expression.

No doubt Pepys was the privateer, but Davis could not resolve why the man would take such risks of being discovered. Was Pepys so vain that he believed he could get away with this?

“Privateering is not illegal, not in our current state of war.” Nathaniel’s voice sounded wooden.

Davis cleared his throat. Nathaniel did have a point.

Easton’s shoulders’ slumped. “I replied in kind to the United Colonies, but I fear we are stirring a lot of trouble for ourselves.” He waved his arm in the air and swiveled away from Nathaniel. “We are a divided colony, what with Coddington being unwilling to relinquish his position and not one settlement willing to agree with another.” His shoulders squared. “And until we make amends with one another, I fear we will all fall to the knife of our enemies, both Indian and Dutch. Coddington’s misguided idea to hold out for word from England regarding his commission as governor is nothing but vain . . . then for him to commission Hull and some of the others to capture Dutch ships has only aggravated the situation.”

But there was a solution. Davis pushed past Nathaniel. “Sir, if I may speak.”

Easton looked at him with a fierceness that could put a bear in place, but Easton drew a breath and released it, which relaxed his countenance. “Go ahead, young man.”

“Go to the people.”

“Pardon me, son. What do you mean?” Easton pushed at his periwig and darted his gaze at the door. “’Tis time for the meeting to begin. Speak quickly.”

Davis stepped to block the door. “These controversies of the colony, including whether these privateers’ commissions given by Coddington are valid or not . . . why not ask the citizens of the island what course of action you should take?”

Easton wrinkled his brow and mouth as though silencing a chuckle. “Have we not done this?”

“Not on an individual level. How does each farmer feel? How does each fisherman feel? Methinks when you hear the grievances of each person you’ll better judge what is fair and right in the eyes of the people . . . and before God.” Davis swallowed the rising acid of nerves. He’d not spoken out to any member of the Assembly in the past, though he was now a freeman. Durst he go even further in this matter? “The Lord God spoke through Jeremiah to the king of Judah, ‘Execute ye judgment and righteousness, and deliver the spoiled out of the hand of the oppressor: and do no wrong, do no violence to the stranger, the fatherless, nor the widow, neither shed innocent blood in this place.’ If we raise our hands in fear against the Indians whom we only think might ally themselves with the Dutch, are we not then guilty of oppressing them who might be innocent?”

Easton nodded for Davis to continue. At least the man was willing to listen.

“The individuals who trade, and therefore are in contact with the Indians—whose farms are close to the Indian's wigwams—these individuals know best what might stir the Indians against us. These are the individuals who would leave their children fatherless and their wives widows. If the Indians attacked them, would the leaders of this colony not then be guilty of such bloodshed?”

Nathaniel positioned himself beside Davis. “I, for one, need to maintain a good trading relationship with them. If we begin to treat them like the enemy, they will become the enemy, and I feel certain others would agree.”

President Easton scratched beneath his wig. “I think you speak with wisdom. But how can we learn every person’s opinion? There is not time.”

“Write two propositions stating the differing positions and take it to every English inhabitant of Rhode Island and the Providence Plantations. Get them to scribe their names on the course of action they believe to be right. Then have them deliver the propositions to the town clerks and returned to you.”

“But again, this will take much time.”

“Yea, that it will.” And during that time, perhaps Davis and Nathaniel could turn the suspicion of wrongful privateering away from the Griffith Shipping Company. “Might I suggest that while this proposition is taken to the people, an order also be sent out that during this time, no man within this colony presume to take vessels or goods from the Dutch?”

“Such an edict will raise the ire of many of the captains.”

“But if you make it clear it is a temporary order, until we know the will of the people, perhaps that will cool their fires.”

Easton rubbed his chin as he slowly nodded. “It may at that. I’ll present your suggestions before the Assembly.” He bowed his head toward Nathaniel. “And since the suggestion comes from a partner of the Griffith Shipping Company, I feel the Assembly will be more agreeable to it, but be certain they’ll expect you to adhere to it.”

“President Easton, sir, we are not in the business of privateering. I should hope this will be the end of such rumors.”

“I have heard no such rumors expressed before the Assembly.” He tipped his head to the side. “Though I will admit I’ve heard them about town.”

Mr. Easton opened the door to the inner room, pivoted and set his piercing gaze on Davis. “Young man, you are quick of wit and seem to have a head for politics. This has not been the first time you’ve managed to bring wisdom that could calm the masses. I was much impressed with how you handled the discovery of the missing crates.” He pointed his finger at Davis. “I plan to propose to the Assembly in this special meeting that you be consulted again on matters such as this.”

“Sir, I have no interest in politics.”

“And that makes you of even greater value.” The president entered the room and left Nathaniel and Davis gaping at his remark.

“You may end up in leadership of a small kingdom, yet.” Nathaniel chuckled.

Davis stomach churned. “Not if I have say in it.” He turned to leave the meeting house. “I’d not want to lead such a fractious bunch of rogues.”

Nathaniel drew alongside him. “Better watch what you say, or you’ll have more trouble raining down on your head.”

Both chuckled, but there was more truth in what Nathaniel said than Davis wished. His father had often commented on Davis’s ability to quiet the people, but these colonists seem to thrive on dispute. ‘Twas enough to make him desire Wales and the mess in which that country lay.
_______________________________

Food for Thought

1. Jesus said in John 8:34 "Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin."

What sin had Josephine committed to place herself into her present situation? How has it driven her actions and responses to her circumstances?

2. England had just survived a civil war in which King Charles I was beheaded and a Puritan leader named Cromwell had stepped up. Some considered him a regicidal dictator and others a hero of liberty. During this time England was also at war with the Dutch over trade. This is the background that provided the soil for religious liberty to take root.

Dr. John Clarke wrote what would become Rhode Island's charter after King Charles II regained England for the monarchy. In it he said:

"that no person within the said colony, at any time hereafter shall be any wise molested [harassed], punished, disquieted, or called in question, for any differences in opinion in matters of religion, and do not actually disturb the civil peace of our said colony; but that all and every person and persons may, from time to time, and at all times hereafter, freely and fully have and enjoy his and their own judgments and consciences, in matters of religious concernments, throughout the tract of land hereafter mentioned, they behaving themselves peaceable and quietly..."

Now on the Rhode Island State House are these words from this charter:

"...to hold forth a lively experiment, that a most flourishing civil state may stand and best be maintained...with a full liberty in religious concernments."

No one can make another person a Christian. Each individual must come to their on conclusions, and under the conviction of the Holy Spirit, come to understand their need for salvation.

Davis did not force Josephine to return, but waited. Why, and for what?

3. While the Catholics were the religious rule of England, they forced the people to be Catholic. While Cromwell ruled, he killed Catholics and worked to make the people follow a Puritan rule. Neither were right. When we, as people who love God, love others and we know that their lifestyle will bring them harm and away from God, it is tempting to force those loved ones to believe as we do. What can we learn from history about forcing our faith on others? What then should we do to keep others from going to hell?

Fiction Friday: Dawn Over Narragansett Bay ch. 31

2011-09-23T10:13:00.000-07:00

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June, 1653 Newport, Rhode Island

____________________________________

Chapter Thirty-One

Davis watched the wake the shallop formed in the bay. His mind was as divided as the water. Josephine must not be with child. If she were, she would not have been so shocked when he nearly mentioned the condition. Still, she was in the clutches of something he had no strength over, no way to fight against, except on his knees before God.

“I don’t understand her behavior.” Nathaniel ran his hand through his hair.

“She was ashamed.” Davis leaned against the tiller, and the boat tipped in a slight turn.

Nathaniel ducked his head as the mainsail swung over him. “As well she should be. That dress—my father would be horrified. I’m horrified.”

“The dress she wore is common among nobility, and she wore it more modestly than most.”

“Why do you defend her? You, of all people, should despise her now.” Nathaniel flipped his hand in the air as though throwing his comment to the wind.

The question was one Davis had tried to avoid asking himself. Better to leave the issue alone, lest the truth in his heart overwhelm him, and he act rashly. Yet, the answered needled him despite his battle against it. He lifted his chin and drew a long breath of sea air. “Because I believe we, and she, have been deceived.” Davis studied Nathaniel a moment. Perhaps there was a time when he would have despised her. Had that no been the case when Lady Eloise married the French aristocrat? And what good had that done except to make him an enemy of her family? “She is not with child. I would have married her, if she would have me, even if she carried the baron's babe.” He swallowed. “I want to comfort her, but now is not the time.”

The water slipped past the boat in V-lines, and Nathaniel stared at them. “’Twas God’s mercy on you that ye did not.” He frowned. “She’s my sister, but I know you would be most miserable if you married her when she despises God’s laws so.”

“I pray someday God will allow me to marry her, and we could be united in faith as well. I think I’ve a taste of how God felt for Israel when the nation turned from Him. Jealous? Yes. Deeply wounded? Yes. But more than anything longing to draw her back, and knowing that the only way left is to leave her to . . . " He drew a breath that dragged over the pain her felt. "I must give her up to uncleanness through the lusts of her own heart, until one day she calls for me, even as God did Israel.” His shoulders quaked with the tearing of his heart. “She has indeed been Bathsheba, but I am not David.”

# # #

“Mistress, are you all right?” Someone shook Josephine’s shoulder.

Josephine opened her eyes to dark and snatched the quilt from her head. The dim room rolled with her stomach, which reeled from the memory of Davis's insinuations that she carried Baron Pepys's child.

“Mistress?” A shadow moved away from her.

“Gin.”

The incident in the dining hall with her brother and Davis swept over her like a dark wave in a tempest-tossed sea.

She heaved for breath. How wicked Davis must think she be. And Nathaniel, she’d brought him shame once more.

“Should I be getting you something?” Gin wrung her hands while she leaned forward.

Josephine pushed herself up to a sitting position and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders. “Have you ever been utterly shamed?”

Gin’s face paled. “I’d not wanted to.” She shrank away, her eyes round with fear.

What was this? Josephine reached for her. “What frightens you? I didn’t mean that you had done something wrong.”

Gin lifted her chin, but her body quaked. “I can’t get clean. I go to the creek, and I scrub.” She gingerly lowered her collar to reveal raw flesh at the base of her neck then dropped to her knees. “I can’t get rid of his smell.”

Josephine gasped. She reached to touch the raw spot, but Gin pulled away. “Whose smell?”

“You’ve been so kind to me, never whipping me.” The servant girl bent to the floor, her arms spread out in front of her.

“I wouldn’t even conceive of doing such a thing. But I don’t understand.” Did someone hurt her . . . touch her?

The girl glanced up then clutched her belly, rocking back and forth. “I’d done what he told me.” Tears poured down her contorted face. “I’d not do it had he not forced me.” She leaned forward and heaved.

Josephine threw the blanket down for her to vomit on, and then wrapped her arm around the girl’s shoulders. The torment in the slave’s eyes resembled something Josephine had experienced nigh four years ago. “Who?” She forced the word out, knowing full well the girl might not know. She did not and lived every day for two years after the horrible night with the fear he might return to take more.

Gin wiped her mouth before heaving again, and wailing as she did.

Josephine let the pain of the past roll over her again. Such fear, such shame . . . and hatred.

When finally Gin’s stomach seemed to have nothing else to extract, she collapsed into Josephine’s arms and panted.

“Tell me who, Gin, so that I might keep it from happening again.”

The girl's eyes darted in fear. She repeated some saying in whatever African tongue she spoke until she gushed out, “The master.”

“No!” Josephine pulled back from the slave. “He wouldn’t do that.” But her stomach dropped like an anchor. The baron professed he held to no moral code.

Gasping for breath, Gin started chanting again, swaying back and forth. Then she screamed like the cry of a dying woman. “Many times . . . it was him. It was only him. I sorry, mistress. I sorry.”

Josephine’s heart beat though she bid it stop. This could not be true. But she could not deny how the baron sought to seduce her.

Boots clicked on the floor in the hall below them.

She wrapped her arms around Gin. Surely the baron would not do such a thing.

A door slammed, and voices could be heard drifting away. Voices but no words.

Josephine’s skin grew clammy. In the lowest pit of her soul, the knowledge of the type of person the baron was took root. He was fully capable of such vileness. How could she have allowed herself to be so deceived?

“I’d tried to get rid o’ the baby, but I know it still grows there.” Gin vomited again, this time bringing up only bile. “The last night, before he left”—Gin shook—“after being with you, he was angry, violent. I sorry, mistress. I sorry.”

Josephine’s own stomach revolted. She’d seen the look on Pepys’s face when he left her, but she thought it only sorrow for her rejection of him. Could it have been an animalistic urge? A demon inside him?

“Please have mercy, mistress. I did not mean for him to do it. I did not beckon him—”

“No, no . . .” Josephine rubbed the girl’s shoulders. ‘Twas naught for a woman to do when a man came upon her. She knew that better than anyone. Oh what had she done? She had refused the baron, and he took it out on this poor girl. “Dear God, how could You let this happen?”

“I sorry, mistress,” Gin repeated over and over as she trembled.

Josephine held her, listening to her repetition. Had she not also needed the cleansing those repeated words brought that night four years ago? A wash that only brought temporary relief.

She rocked with Gin until the sobbing stopped, the murmurs ceased, and Gin lowered her face to the floor. Josephine covered her with a quilt. “When do you expect the child to come?”

“In the winter.” Gin wrapped her arms around her stomach and closed her eyes.

“I will help you.” Josephine wiped a tear from the girl’s face. “Whatever you need, I will help you, as though you were my own sister.”

She lay down on the floor beside the slave while the moonlight slipped through the window and highlighted the glistening tears on Gin’s face.

Baron Pepys would pay for such treachery. If they could get off this wretched island. But would anyone else take them in, or would they wander in the wilderness only to be killed by Indians? No. She’d have to find another way. Somehow she’d have to reveal to the magistrates that the baron was the evil here. Would they listen to a wayward widow?
_______________________________________

Food for Thought

1. Davis desired to obey God. His rejection of Josephine had sent her into a tailspin now on course for a deadly crash. Do you think he was right to reject her because he knew she did not have his faith?

Read II Corinthians 6:14-17.

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?
And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.

Dawn Over Narragansett Bay chapter 30

2011-09-21T10:59:00.001-07:00

I'm sure by now you are all sick of Joab's Fire! :)

I'd like to return to Dawn over Narragansett Bay today.

As some of you know from when I ran Joab's Fire through the blog, the chapters posted are more representative of works in progress than a final edited copy. However, in the publishing world, posting them on the blog is considered publication (just wanted to point that out in case anyone was thinking of doing the same thing with their wip).

With Joab's Fire, I read your comments and your emails and considered them when I went through each round of edits. Joab's Fire went through a critique group, then the newsletter/blog, then another critique group, through a select group of readers/critiquers (AKA my parents, my sister, and two pastors), several edits on my part, ending with edits with the publisher. Those edits included a macro-edit, a copy-edit, and a proofreader. Through the process, I have learned that no matter how many eyes are on a manuscript, it will never come out perfect.

Back to Dawn over Narragansett Bay. I plan to go through a similar route with this wip (work in progress for you non-writers). So the version you read here has already been through a critique group and three of my own edits. Still, it needs work. You can consider yourself special readers that will play a role in producing the final product. I love to hear what you like (that's easier to take than what you don't like, but alas and forsooth, those have their place when they are constructive).

If you haven't read the previous chapters, Click here.

June, 1653 Newport, Rhode Island

Widow Josephine Coptin fears for her son's future. With the birth of her brother's child, her son will no longer inherit the family business leaving them little more than pauper's dependent upon the generosity of family. With her brother's poor business skills that generosity might dwindle to the gift of homelessness and starvation. Can Josephine get past the memories of her husband and marry a good man who will provide for her and her son?

____________________________________

Chapter Thirty

Davis leaned against the rail at the bow of the shallop as it bucked against the waves, and he watched the breaking of dawn behind the boat. 'Twas easier to look to hope of light than what might come of their excursion. He turned his gaze to the island for which they head and found the skyline embossed in the gravity of their journey.

He’d not slept the night before, so anxious was he to make the trip. It took nigh five days to send Pepys off to Wales. However, in truth, he knew the extra time meant a safer trip for Montague, though he agonized over Josephine’s well-being each day.

When asked about her, Pepys had smirked. “She loves her new life.” Had Nathaniel not been there, Davis was certain Pepys would have commented more on Josephine’s “new life.”

There was an element of a threat in Pepys’s report. “Nonetheless, she bears great bitterness toward your apprentice. Hate might be a word more akin to her feelings.” Pepys had pulled his dagger and stroked its blade. “I’d hate to see her hurt again, should a visit from someone upset her. A delicate condition she has at present. Upsetting her could bring her much harm.”

Delicate condition? What meant he by this? Pepys had winked when he said it as though it were a duplicity. The blackguard. If it were true what he hinted at . . . but Pepys was already to sea, and Davis could not defend Josephine’s honor against him. Yet, how could the man know of this “delicate condition” so soon, unless the act was committed before they left the Griffith house.

Was that why she was so anxious to be married? Even so, had there been enough time for her to know of such a condition?

Whatever the situation, Pepys only added more power to the threat when he said, “She is safe on Wolf Island. Still, should someone steal her away, I can't guarantee that my men will not mistake her for a thief or a spy and kill her. They are most loyal to me, you know, but they do tend to act rashly and with more vigor than perhaps the situation may merit.”

The shallop ducked and rose, and with it came a spray of salt water.

Davis wiped the wet from his face and licked the salt from his lips. If Josephine were, as Pepys seemed to hint, with child, Davis would do what he could for her. But could he marry her? Would that be right before the Lord?

The sun sent a ray across the eastern sky, striking at the dark that surrounded the island.

A pain with the sharpness of a sword pierced Davis's chest through to his back. Would it be so wrong to marry her, to spare her shame? Perhaps . . . if it kept her from the Lord, and he could not be certain marriage to him under those circumstances would not do just that.

Shame rolled over him. How could she trust him after how he treated her, flirting and giving her cause to hope in him? Then turning her away. Had he not lied to her about who he was, but then, who was he now?

More light fought against the shroud and the waves about them clapped as though cheering on the sun.

Davis would not be anything but an apprentice, rather her brother’s new partner, to her from this day forward. There was no kingdom for him to return to, and he doubted there ever was. It would serve no purpose for her to know him other than as Davis Owen. Had she not said she did not care who he was before, but cared only for what he was now?

“There is Pepys’s Manor.” Nathaniel pointed to a large building above the rocks.

Each muscle stiffened as Davis lifted his gaze to the structure.

Five times the size of the Griffith house, and yet, unfinished. With multiple chimneys stretching to the sky, the manor stood three floors high and sprawled a length of at least 200 feet. Smoke curled from a back chimney, likely the location of the kitchen.

His skin grew clammy. In moments he would see her again. What would he do if she refused to see him?

# # #

“A boat, mistress.” Gin came running into Josephine’s bedchamber. The bruise on her cheek had still not diminished.

How could a tumble down the stairs could lead to such marks on the maid’s body? The bruises on her arms seemed most inconsistent with a tumble.

Gin laid a finger on her face as though conscious of Josephine’s thoughts and looked to the floor. She curtsied. “Forgive me, mistress.”

“For what?” Josephine touched the girl’s shoulder, but Gin flinched away. “Come, let’s get Little William and go see who it is.”

The rising sun sparkled on the ocean below the cliff and danced off the flapping sails of the shallop. Josephine jogged beside Gin across the grassy meadow in front of the manor. The ever-sour Mary remained a few strides behind, holding Little William’s hand.

Voices rose from below the cliff, familiar voices.

She stopped. "Nathaniel?"

Down the hill she flew until she saw the men. How good it was to see him.

His auburn hair billowed in the wind, but the figure beside him—the form, tall and slim, moved beneath thick brown hair tied back at the nape of his neck. Davis.

She slowed to a walk, looking away at the ocean and then back at the men. Still, it was hard to believe they came.

A cold breeze came off the water, matching the coolness of the sweat that now covered her.

Why had he come?

Davis looked up. Their eyes locked.

She halted.

He let go of the rope he held and stepped toward her, as though testing the ground.

She held hers.

He touched Nathaniel’s arm, and her brother turned.

Nathaniel’s face lit up, and a smile spread across it. “Josephine.”

Tears burst from her eyes, and she ran to him. “Nathaniel.”

With open arms, he welcomed her, picked her up and swung her around. “Josephine, how are you?”

“Perhaps you should set her down.” Davis’s serious face passed by before her brother lowered her to the ground.

She straightened her skirts and put her hand below her chest to be sure her corset was in place. “I am fine.” But her skin tingled as she turned to look at Davis.

His eyes were wide and seemed filled with concern. Strange, they seemed focused on her waistline.

“My ankle is healed, as you can see.” She spun on her toes. “Really, I am fine.”

“And my nephew, where is he?” Nathaniel scanned the path and the cliff above them. He seemed tense, worried.

Did he think some harm had come to them? “He’s in the meadow above with Gin and Mary.” Josephine grabbed Nathaniel’s hand. She’d not let his anxious countenance ruin this moment. “Come, see how much he has grown and what a wonderful place we have here.”

She hurried up the path glancing back to be sure they followed. When she reached the top of the hill, she puffed and pressed her hand to her side. Dash the busks of her corset. They made breathing most difficult.

Davis took her elbow. “Are you okay? I mean . . .”

She furrowed her brow. “Yes.” Why did he seem so concerned? She laid her hand on her stomach and laughed as she panted. “I guess I’m not used to running. Only last week did I remove the splints from my ankle, and I have no cause to run with so many wonderful people here to help me.” She waved Gin forward. “Davis, Nathaniel, I’d like you to meet Gin, she’s my wonderful helper.” She could not tell them Gin was a slave. Not just because she didn’t view the girl as one, but they would not understand . . . and neither did she.

The men bowed to Gin, but both seemed a little taken back by her appearance.

“And this is Mary.”

Mary stepped forward and curtsied. She still bore a sore expression. Could she not be at least a little congenial?

Out from behind Mary’s skirts bolted Little William. “Unca! Dav’s!” He clung to their legs and both men clamored to give him hugs.

Josephine tipped her head back and let the warm morning sun clear away the cool from her skin. What joy. It was good to see them. “Come, let us show you around the plantation.”

She led them first to the barns in the back, which now housed a horse, a milk cow, and several chickens. In the field nearby stood cattle and a handful of sheep. A couple of goats danced on the rocks above a creek that trickled from the forest then cut a path through the fields, past the manor and cascaded down to the ocean below.

Throughout the tour Davis seemed particularly concerned about her every step, as though he still thought her ankle was injured. She had missed that tenderness, but then, Pepys had his own way about him.

Next, she took them to the house. They could not hide their awe. She showed them through each room but her bedchamber. She could not take them there, even though Pepys had said the ladies in England often entertained in their bedchamber. It just didn’t feel right. She ended the tour in the dining hall where she was pleased to find Gin placing trenchers of fruit and nuts on the table beside tankards of cider.

“Please come and eat. You must have left before sunrise to arrive so early.” She toyed with the pearl necklace about her neck then pressed her hand against her skin, aware now that her dress bore a very low neck line, revealing much of her cleavage. When had she become so comfortable with these clothes? “Gin, could you bring me a shawl? I feel a chill.”

Davis’s brow furrowed, and his face darkened. “You’ve done too much this morning. Perhaps you should rest. I understand a woman needs much rest in your . . .” He paled.

Josephine’s stomach sank at the draining of color from his face. “You . . . you . . .” She couldn’t say it and instead, lowered herself to a chair. He thinks I am with child. Had Pepys not said those in Newport thought this?

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to . . . you’re upset,” Davis stammered until Nathaniel placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Josephine, how is your health? Do you have anything, ” he paused, “anything, you want to tell us? We came to visit, yes, but to help you as well . . . in whatever way we can . . . you’d want us to.”

The room faded, and she became acutely aware that her hand rested on her abdomen. She snatched it away and gripped the chair with it. “The rumors,” she whispered. But they were not true. Could her brother really think this of her?

She peered at Davis. Her dress, being here, in Pepys’s manor, what he must think of her?

He knelt before her, his eyes focused not on her face, but at her waist.

She placed both hands over her bosom, very conscious now of how ample and exposed it was. He had not once looked above her waist since he arrived. Why had it not occurred to her earlier?

“Anything,” Davis whispered. Then he frowned. Beads formed on his brow as he slowly lifted his eyes, almost as though drawn by a temptation he could not resist. But his gaze riveted on the pearls that circled her neck above the clavicle.

She touched them. “Why do you look so at these?”

Nathaniel moved closer then stumbled into the chair beside her. “Where did you get those?”

“My pearls?”

“Yes.”

“Baron Pepys gave them to me. Why?”

“They look to be the ones Mr. Bull purchased for Mrs. Bull. These, along with a ruby belonging to the Eastons, are missing with one of the strong boxes—”

“Leave.” Josephine jumped to her feet, knocking Davis back. How dare they insinuate she or the baron were thieves.

“What?” the men said in unison.

“Pete, Sable.” What Pepys’s man said was true. The people in Newport believed she took the ruby.

“Josephine, what is wrong?” Nathaniel reached for her arm, but she jerked it back.

The two powerful African men entered the room.

“Escort these men to their shallop.” She lifted her chin, but inside she crumbled with shame. How could they believe the rumors? How could they think she could possibly be with child and a thief? She glared on her brother. “Do you think me a murderer as well?” She whipped away and fled to the stairs.

“Josephine, wait.” Nathaniel’s pleading voice clung to her, but she shook it off.

Feet scuffed the stone floors as the men resisted Pete and Sable.

“Leave and don’t come back.” She kept her back turned on them and raced up the stairs, not stopping until she flung herself on her bed, weeping. How could they believe that of her?

Her hand was pressed between the bed and the flesh below her neck.

How could they not think such of her? She ripped at her dress...a dress that represented something she was not. She tore away the cloth and the laces that held the bodice, screaming at it.

Why should she care what they thought? But it mattered greatly. Oh how it mattered.

Her fingers gripped the quilt and she slid to the floor, covering herself with it. She could never go back, never.
____________________________

Food for Thought

1. What keeps Josephine from returning home with Nathaniel and Davis?

Read Proverbs 11:2.

When pride cometh, then cometh shame: but with the lowly is wisdom.

2. What mistake did Davis make? How did the baron’s words affect him?

Read Proverbs 16:28.

A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.

3. Josephine is not saved. She has not called upon the name of the Lord for her salvation. While she knows she is a sinner, but she is not ready to turn from her way of thinking and way of life. What does she do and say that shows this? What is keeping her from finding salvation? If you were to advise Josephine right now, what would you say?

Interviews and Reviews?

2011-09-20T13:41:00.001-07:00

We're wrapping up the celebration for the release of Joab's Fire this week. If you've followed me on Facebook, you've seen a number of interviews and reviews (and there are still a few more to come). Here are the links to all the blogs that have featured Joab's Fire and me (and if I've missed some, please let me know!):

June 11, 2011 http://www.barndoorbookloft.net/2011/06/lynn-squires-joabs-fire.html
June 12, 2011 http://www.barndoorbookloft.net/2011/06/with-lynn-squire.html
June 12, 2011 http://pewperspective.blogspot.com/2011/06/book-review-joabs-fire-by-lynn-squire.html
June 20, 2011 http://kdawnbyrd.blogspot.com/2011/06/register-to-win-lynn-squires-joabs-fire.html
June 22, 2011 http://internationalchristianfictionwriters.blogspot.com/search/label/Joab%27s%20Fire
June 27, 2011 http://novelbooks.org/2011/06/27/meet-and-greet-lynn-squire/
June 29, 2011 http://thedabblingmum.blogspot.com/2011/06/interview-with-lynn-squire.html
June 30, 2011 http://lenanelsondooley.blogspot.com/2011/06/joabs-fire-lynn-squire-free-book.html
July 1, 2011 http://www.preslaysa.com/2011/07/01/fiction-fridays-interview-with-lynn-squire/
July 20, 2011 http://pewperspective.blogspot.com/2011/07/interview-with-ruth-clumpit-joabs-fire.html
July 22, 2011 http://thepastorswifespeaks.blogspot.com/2011/07/love-seeks-not-her-own.html
August 14, 2011 http://thepastorswifespeaks.blogspot.com/2011/08/are-you-willing-to-sacrifice-to.html
August 26, 2011 http://thepastorswifespeaks.blogspot.com/2011/08/gods-abundant-mercy-through-trials.html
August 29, 2011 http://www.nicolemillerbooks.com/2011/08/29/story-behind-the-story-lynn-squire/
September 1, 2011 http://jesskeller.wordpress.com/2011/09/01/on-overcoming/
September 9, 2011 http://jesskeller.wordpress.com/2011/09/09/an-interview-with-author-lynn-squire/
September 12, 2011 http://thepastorswifespeaks.blogspot.com/2011/09/squirrel-made-you-look.html
September 15, 2011 http://pat-iacuzzi.blogspot.com/2011/09/this-weeklynn-squire-and-cj-chase.html
September 15, 2011 http://www.raleneburke.com/?p=379
September 16, 2011 http://jesskeller.wordpress.com/2011/09/16/free-book-friday-joabs-fire/
September 17, 2011 http://throughhiseyestoo.blogspot.com/2011/09/joabs-fire-by-lynn-squire-free-book.html
September 18, 2011 http://thepastorswifespeaks.blogspot.com/2011/09/when-god-turns-lives-around.html
September 19, 2011 http://rosemccauley.blogspot.com/2011/09/spotlight-on-lynn-squire-author-of.html
September 19, 2011 http://colonialquills.blogspot.com/2011/09/spinning-room-with-lynn-squire.html

On September 23, 2011 I will be Guest blogging on Rose McCauley's blog.

On September 26, 2011 I will be interviewed at Carrie Pagel's blog with a review later in the week.

I have a feeling there are some that I missed. If so, please feel free to add them in a comment below.

Book Review of Joab's Fire by Dee Adekugbe

2011-09-19T13:35:00.001-07:00

Continuing with our celebration of the release of Joab's Fire, I'm including a review by Dee Adekugbe from Total Woman Ministry

Joab’s Fire
By Lynn Squire

Book Review

Joab’s Fire is a powerful book that opens your mind, heart and soul into the life of Job from the Bible. The book takes you into the lives of Joab, his wife, Sergeant Dixon and a few other members of the community and how easily lives can change in the blink of an eye.

Everyone has a past and some of us would rather forget the past than face them. Reading this book allowed me to learn that you can never run from your past and that it is easier to face it and move on than allow it to hinder your future and eat away your joy and peace.

The book also helped me to understand the instability of human nature. How easy and quickly we point the figure and judge each other based on hearsay and rumors. Reading the book allowed me to understand that no matter how much you love God and his people, you can still be turned on by the very people who profess to love you.

It also gave me an appreciation that no-one person has the answer to your problems, not even the pastors. Our answer comes from God and when we allow ourselves not to be blinded by what we see, feel and hear, God will turn every situation around.

Thank you Lynn for a great novel depicting the life of Job in such a way that relates to everyone and everyday life. It is one of my favorite books in the bible and I love how you interpreted it. This book is a great read for anyone struggling to understand why God allows us to go through the fire without interfering. It’s also a great read for those who cannot move past their past and embrace their future.

Looking forward to more great books by Lynn.

Thank you and have a great day!
Dee Adekugbe
Tel: 403-671-0453
Email: totalwoman@shaw.ca
Website: www.totalwomanministry.com
Bringing out the real and complete woman in you!

Joab's Fire Celebration Day 7

2011-09-18T09:33:00.000-07:00

Happy Sunday! Today I thought I would share with you some of videos from Arrowwood (aka Surbank), Alberta where Joab's Fire is set.

If you've lived in a small town you know how the community is much like an extended family. Your neighbors watch out for you, and you also watch out for your neighbors. Of course, there might be some neighbors who feud, like Barty and Nathaniel in chapter 1 of Joab's Fire.

You'll also find a variety of personalities working together for the common good of the community...well, that's how we like to think of it anyway.

Having now lived both in a small community and in the big city, there are tremendous differences and some similarities. In a city, you have a greater selection of people to chose from for friends. Maybe your neighbors aren't quite who you'd want for a friend, so you join a club or a church and find others that have more in common with you.

In a small town the selection is small. You pretty much need to get along with everyone...or at least attempt to. However, your neighbors interests are more likely to be akin to your own, especially when the community's economy is based on one industry.

City folk often don't get country folk, and vice versa is true, but we can all think of people we know that have certain character traits, wherever we live.

Well enough chatter. Here's those videos and photos I promised you.

This is at the end of Centre Street, Arrowwood.

My apologies for this not being steady. I'm afraid I don't make a very good cameraman, but at least you can see the stores.

I can't help it. I love this beautiful country. After all, if it wasn't for the farmers and the land, Arrowwood would not exist.

Joab's Fire Day 6

2011-09-17T09:06:00.000-07:00

Welcome back to our 6th day of our Joab's Fire book launch party.

At the back of Joab's Fire is a Bible study that studies the book of Job in the context of all Scripture.

Each Sunday afternoon at 5:30 PM the ladies at Calvary Baptist Church in American Canyon meet to discuss the questions in the Bible study. You can do the same for your ladies group. Our group meets for only a short time before the evening service so we review only one question. Here is a sample study from our group.

Chapter 7 Discussion Question

Read Job 3. What did Job desire? What had he feared?

How would you finish this sentence? My greatest fear is…

Losing my home;
Losing my family;
Letting down someone I love;
Failing in my career;
Losing my ability to work or care for my family;
Losing my health;
the future.

In this chapter, Dixon goes out to chop would and argue that given the evidence, God was not a caring God. His past trials, the loss of his mother, caused him to reject God, and so he will continue to do so—but there is an underlying fear that he is attempting to rebuff. He won't admit it to himself and probably isn't even cognitive of it at this time.

Though we cannot prevent bad things from happening to us, we should not live in fear that they will. If we do, we are opening ourselves up to even greater heartache.

Read Job 1:1.

There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job; and that man was perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil.

Who did Job fear? God.

Job conducted his life out of a great reverence for God, which was reflected in a strong sense of right and wrong.That reverence, or fear, of God kept him emotionally and spiritually safe.

Read Job 1:9-11.

Then Satan answered the LORD, and said, Doth Job fear God for nought? Hast not thou made an hedge about him, and about his house, and about all that he hath on every side? thou hast blessed the work of his hands, and his substance is increased in the land. But put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath, and he will curse thee to thy face.

What did Satan think of Job, particularly with respect to his religion? Satan believed if Job lost everything he would curse God. In essence, Satan believed that Job loved God only because God blessed him.

God allows Satan to strike at Job.

Job loses his family and all his possession.

Read Job 1:20-22.

Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped, And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD. In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly.

How did Job respond to his losses?

He arose.
He rent his mantle.
He shaved his head.
He fell down upon the ground.
He worshiped.
He blessed God.
He never sinned.
He did not charge God foolishly.

In essence, four simple things: humbled himself, worshiped God, blessed God, & didn’t sin. Remarkable faith displayed by him.

Satan had lost that battle, but he’s up for another round.

Read Job 2:4-5.

And Satan answered the LORD, and said, Skin for skin, yea, all that a man hath will he give for his life. But put forth thine hand now, and touch his bone and his flesh, and he will curse thee to thy face.

Satan stood corrected. Job didn’t sin when he lost everything, but what does Satan think now will cause Job to curse God? If Job suffered physically. Satan doesn’t believe Job has the faith to overcome this.

So God allows Satan again to smite Job. Job’s wife even tempts him to curse God and die.

Read Job 2:10.

But he said unto her, Thou speakest as one of the foolish women speaketh. What? shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil? In all this did not Job sin with his lips.

How did Job respond?

Said his wife was speaking as a foolish woman; i.e. rebukes his wife for her lack of faith.
“What? Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?
He did not sin with his lips.

This was at the beginning of his second trial. He had many more nights to endure the pain, and more emotional trauma to experience. For seven days and seven nights Job suffers in silence.

Read Job 3:3-11.

Let the day perish wherein I was born, and the night in which it was said, There is a man child conceived. Let that day be darkness; let not God regard it from above, neither let the light shine upon it. Let darkness and the shadow of death stain it; let a cloud dwell upon it; let the blackness of the day terrify it. As for that night, let darkness seize upon it; let it not be joined unto the days of the year, let it not come into the number of the months. Lo, let that night be solitary, let no joyful voice come therein. Let them curse it that curse the day, who are ready to raise up their mourning. Let the stars of the twilight thereof be dark; let it look for light, but have none; neither let it see the dawning of the day: Because it shut not up the doors of my mother's womb, nor hid sorrow from mine eyes. Why died I not from the womb? why did I not give up the ghost when I came out of the belly?

What did Job desire? That he would not have been born, and he wished to be dead.

Read Job 3:25-26.

For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me. I was not in safety, neither had I rest, neither was I quiet; yet trouble came.

What did Job now fear?

A hopeless future
Pain and sorrow

Compare how Job responded to the calamity in chapter one with how he responded in chapter 2. What do you see that is different?

Read Job 1:20-22 again.

Read Job 2:8-10.

And he took him a potsherd to scrape himself withal; and he sat down among the ashes. Then said his wife unto him, Dost thou still retain thine integrity? Curse God, and die. But he said unto her, Thou speakest as one of the foolish women speaketh. What? Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil? In all this did not Job sin with his lips.

Job didn’t humble himself as he did in chapter one.•He didn’t worship.
He didn’t bless God.

At least, we are not shown this.

I put to you that his fear changed. Who did he fear in Job 1:1? God.

What did he fear in Job 3:25? Pain, suffering, and an uncertain future (a life without hope).

His fear shifted from God to his present situation, demonstrating that he reached the limit of his faith.

Jesus in Matthew 5-7 tells us how we, as people of faith, are to face life.

Read Matthew 6:19-21.

Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

Where are we to lay up treasure?

Job 1:3 tells us “this man was greatest of all the men of the east.” Job was a very prosperous man. He had treasure on earth by the world’s standards, but because he feared God, his heart was not on that treasure, but on his treasure in heaven.

Read Matthew 6:24.

No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

Can we serve both money and God? No. When someone loses everything, and then turns from God what was the person really serving? The things of this world.

Read Matthew 6:25-34.

Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

In Job’s second trial, he lost his focus (as I’m sure all of us would given the circumstances). He turned to the fears of this life instead of fearing God. He couldn’t see the future.

But God could.

Job didn’t bless and worship God, so he lost his focus and the circle of human fears drew in around him.

He didn’t humble himself so he couldn’t worship, and therefore could not withstand the part of human nature that fears uncertainty.

So what does this tell us about how we can cope in times of trials?

Keep fearing God and not the things of this world, or people, or circumstance, or future troubles.
Humble ourselves.
Worship God.
Bless God.
Do not sin or charge God foolishly.

Don’t get sidetracked by your natural fears. Remember God is good. He will carry you through, just keep trusting Him.

Dixon, in Joab's Fire, doesn't have the faith to trust God. He's going to endure some great mental anguish before he comes to accept that faith as the only way to face an uncertain future.

Can you look at your life and see how God has taken you through a trial and how you have come out stronger in the end? That takes faith. Not everyone makes it through trials. Sometimes we come through trials and end up scarred. That’s probably a pretty good indication you’re still dealing with that trial, that there is some area God wants you to surrender to Him. Maybe you need to forgive someone. Maybe you need to fear Him more than what you are currently fearing as a result of that trial. Maybe you need to ask someone for forgiveness. Ask God to show you. Seek the answer. Knock until He opens the door of understanding. And don’t lay off worshiping Him…ever.